Zwillinge hängen total aneinander?
Meine jüngeren Brüder sind eineiige Zwillinge, werden bald 19, und vor paar Monaten sind sie bei unserer Mutter ausgezogen weil sie nur mehr Streit hatten.
Es ging immer ums gleiche Thema, sie sollen unabhängiger werden, nicht alles teilen, sich eigene Freunde suchen statt immer nur gemeinsam abzuhängen. Als vor zwei Jahren mein altes Zimmer frei wurde gab sie das dem jüngeren. Die haben es aber nur als Hobbyzimmer benutzt und gingen weiter gemeinsam ins andere zum schlafen was sie verbieten wollte usw.
Jedenfalls haben sie sich im Sommer nachdem sie erwachsen waren eine Einzimmerwohnung gemietet, also gemeinsam. Für Mutter eh schon der wahrgewordene Alptraum. Nachdem sie etwas gespart hatten haben sie jetzt neue Ikea Möbel reingestellt, war dort um das mit ihnen zu feiern.
Mutter war natürlich neugierig und wollte Bilder sehen. Jetzt ist sie wieder entsetzt und traurig weil die sich ein Doppelbett reingestellt haben in dem sie zusammen schlafen. Sie will jetzt das ich ihnen erklären soll dass sie getrennte Betten brauchen 🥺
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If they are to become independent, why does it make such demands.
Why do they have to become independent if they simply don’t want to.
Should one forbid the friends to be friends with the twin at the same time? That’s what the mother’s doing. It’s good that the two are starting their own life now instead of getting into it. For me it shows that they are quite independent.
Don’t start being on your mother’s extended arm, from which they just want to encapsulate.
Votive
When the two come clear, their life is fine.
The phenomenon is not even rare with one twin, of which more than one twin pair are encountered. For example, I carried out painting work with two old ladies in Hamburg, and the two slept in a double bed, were inseparable for their lives and at the end of 70. A woman in two bodies. The one spoke to me and went away while the other simply continued the sentence. Very strange. No man told me they’d ever come into question as a partner, because every partner would have wanted them to be “two”.
Seriously? My brothers also have a special connection, and they sometimes know things about each other where I am only wondering but fortunately everyone speaks for themselves. 😅
they are old enough. at the latest when they develop their own love life, or they appear in a few years as a contribution to galileo because they are so “excellent” that they share everything with each other
Well, I don’t want to see her as a TV show…😳
I’m curious.
I can understand your mother.
However, it is her life. 🤷
The bad thing is I can somehow understand both sides and because I also like my mother and my brothers I somehow get into the Zwickmühle…
The two are 19 years old when they earn their own living, they can also decide how to live. Your mother has nothing to say.
There’s nothing to change – what if they’re happy…
Then let the two of the mother make an announcement that she shouldn’t interfere anymore.
But that they sleep together in a bed is very slanted. How do they do that when they meet someone? Does this person always have to sleep in bed with the other twin? Or should it be a triangle relationship?
They did, and that’s why they moved out.
But also make me worry about her and mother keeps talking about it all the time that this can be nothing with knowledge and relationships.
Until now, only one of them had a girlfriend for a short time.
You want that?
It seems more important to your mother and to you than the two.
If your life plan looks different, it doesn’t matter to anyone else.
They must know that. They’re all year round, no one has to interfere.
I am a twin and with me, or it is the opposite. My parents wanted to understand us better all our lives. But if we finally understand each other better, they say that we should not do so much together. That’s her logic. We want to rent an apartment, where we want to live with my best friend. They are not so excited about that now either. But it’s the best we want to go to the same school. Well, parents often don’t understand. If your brothers are satisfied, you should leave them best.
Greetings:)
Congratulations to the two young men that they escaped their mother.
I also share a room with my twin sister and we had the same best friend.
I honestly don’t understand your mother’s problem. I’d just want a relationship for my kids.
But I think your mother’s fear is that she’s still working together even though it’s less fun. She thinks I’m thinking more about the future.
She should have just started living her apart earlier. For example, not the same class or kindergarten group (I never had with my sister). But that she wants to separate the rooms is very big. They have become so much used to sleeping together that they simply don’t get it (which is completely normal). I personally can’t sleep in the room without my sister. With us this is a habit that if one on us on the class trip is our mother must be in the room…
Personally, I think it’s good that they’re opposed.
They’re grown up and they’ve been allowed to decide for a long time.
What a nonsense. The two are grown and pulled out and can do this as they want. Either your mother finds out about it or she has had bad luck. By the way, this is not so rare for twins. I know two women who are 21 and also one twins and who live at home, but also share a double bed, have the same circle of friends, the same hobbies, etc. This is easy sometimes when you’ve been together since childhood and it’s used to sharing everything. Twins often have a special connection to each other.
She wants these young men (yes, they are grown up and should be allowed to make their own decisions) to become more independent and independent – but at the same time she wants to mother and decide?
A one-room apartment is financially cheaper. The two are from small to accustomed to sharing a room/ spending their spare time together (because it is a homemade “problem….. well, problem rather not, but just raised from home).
So the one with the common bed is already wired. However, if the apartment does not give this from the size, I can still understand.
two good friends of mine have always been used to dress up since they were home. also single twins. Partly, if the apartment was too small even with only one bedroom, but two separate beds. the last 10 years or so they live generous enough that each of the two has their own bedroom.
Your brothers are 19. What are you doing?
And as a mommy of twins, I have to say that there was something wrong in education. If they were not independent of their whole life, always “the twins”, why are you expecting it at once.
Maybe just focus on the subject beforehand. Twins have an enormous bond, so targeted separations are important throughout the whole. Separate groups in the Kita, separate classes at school, as examples.
Sorry, let her do it now. They’re grown up.
I just wonder what this targeted separation is important for. Is the twins better?
Certainly it is better for those who are not always seen and treated like a unit and copy of the other.
It is a serious disturbance, not to be able to be independent.
To develop independent personalities. Especially in the case of single twins enormously important. Otherwise, they are always compared and treated equally and can no longer distinguish between one and the other. Names mirror effect.
If you have separate groups and classes, they get to know each other better, their own character, find their own friends, strong and weaken. Not only are they oriented towards each other, but also to others.
The whole anger just started after they got into separate classes. Was the recommendation of the class teacher and school director because they sought too little contact with the students. But they never forgive Mother.
She also makes accusations wrong and too late to have reacted and somehow I understand both sides and am there between the chairs…
From when they were in separate classes.
Do a favor and stay out of your way. It is the life of your brothers and your mama can worry, but they are now grown up and make their own decision
What you’re presenting here as an apparent fact is quite controversial.
There are also professionals who see this in opposite directions and claim to separate the twins the worst thing you can do to you.
I wouldn’t separate twins who understand each other well.
Interesting point, so I’ve never seen it as dominant and adapting…
The older one is the more responsive and likes to talk for both, but this is something more shy to the other. Thought for a long time the older one has more influence I am no longer sure.
If I ask them separately as to what both are concerned or what they are going to decide together, the older one always changes spontaneously but also often changes the opinion after they have agreed, the other one usually says that they talk but only when he answers it directly.
Mother has also often sought individual conversations, especially with the quiet younger. The last time she told me about it, she wanted to tell him again he didn’t have to follow his brother and decide. His answer was then he finds it sad that she still doesn’t know him, his brother forces him to nothing if she wants such a person to go to the mirror.
She was shocked, couldn’t believe it, but he confirmed it in the way he lost the nerves because she made his brother bad.
I think (and meanwhile mother) but before that was the opinion of all, let them, rejoice that they understand so well that they live early enough apart…
Yeah, that was too late. But as I said, now they are grown up and make their own decision.
From the second grade Gymnasium then after the discussion started in the first.
I don’t mean that. Mostly there is a dominant twin and one that adapts itself.. Probably the impulsive is rather the dominant twin.
However, it does not develop these characters freely but because of their belongings
So they always had their own character, the one is more open, more impulsive and more athletic and the other restrained and rather the thinker and crafter. They also know that and always leave each other the things that the other can do better.
Education and experience
How do you know?
Yeah, well explained.