Would you read something like that?
Hello my dears, for a long time now I have been devoting myself to writing stories, poems or simply songs.
Everyone said I would be a good author, but I'm pretty unsure that I wouldn't be able to make money with my books.
Why do I think this way about myself? There are so many good authors who would completely overshadow my book.
I'm afraid of failure, that no one will read the book anyway.
The publisher isn't exactly easy to find, even though I'm doing my best.
Well, let’s get to the tasting.
ZOE JONES / March 17, 2004
Dreams are unattainable, as small as a petal which breaks like porcelain if you carefully pick it up and stroke it. A small curtsy would result and shatter the entire image of pure beauty. The radiance of pure nature would fade if you even remotely used this flower as if it were its property. Zoe Jones resembled this flower, used by all kinds of people, touched without permission, treated like personal property. Suffering was no great friend or helper, because everything that happened to Zoe shaped every decision she made. Unexpected voices would come at night and wake her from her sleep, so that efforts to have beautiful dreams would crumble. Like a flower at night surrounded by insects that sucked the inner core dry to satisfy their hunger. All the years full of strength, experience and overcoming were a work of art that Zoe left behind in this city. While the flower endures days like these to gather evidence that a magnificent specimen like this can be produced, there would be no need to keep this specimen any longer. If this flower were to be used a second time, the laughter and joy that nurtured and cherished the memories of its bloom would also vanish.
The page of this chapter closed, and fresh tears were easily visible on the cover. A small sigh escaped her, and finally, this diary was locked back in her room. Fearlessly, Zoe ran to the mirror and greeted her reflection with a fairytale turn. "The young lady looks good today; one can soon get used to facing it every day and feeling like one is in a fairytale paradise. The silk on her skin suits her perfectly, and the upturned braid is a marvel; the glamorous makeup on her face really makes her stand out. I could look at someone like her for hours, it's just a shame that…" Amidst all the self-pity Zoe was giving herself, she was interrupted by the loud knocking on her hotel room door. Her astonished gaze immediately turned to the mysterious knocker. Every single second, she braced herself for someone to suddenly jump in and eagerly demand her. However, a shrill silence broke out. Zoe was relieved in front of her mirror and put on a small smile before heading out the door. She wanted to greet the person who would soon be standing opposite her with a warm gesture, but the young woman didn't even begin to finish this as she turned the doorknob and saw her counterpart before her. The man showed no interest whatsoever, not a single expression on his delicate face, but only a cold gaze that made Zoe's heart freeze. Without exchanging a word, the mysterious man broke the uncomfortable silence that surrounded them both. "Don't worry about it, Madame, I've already heard enough about you to judge that I'm not the kind of person who would pounce on you like a wild animal." With an unimpressed expression, Zoe nodded in agreement.
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You really used the words very nicely, but you want to go out to heaven, you don’t check the context at the end.
It reads beautifully in itself, many conspiracy words, but you also have to insert real sentences and statements that explain something.
I’m more confused after this sample. What’s your problem now?
Unfortunately, the problem that I could no longer share is that basically even more would explain in history.
Only that was the problem, somehow tried to get some more there but well character limit stop..
the character limit is not when this is the beginning, which is common to how to say inconsistent, it looks like swell, pretty swell. Zb the first paragraph there you don’t have to talk so much about fragile dreams that can insert a little shorter instead even real thoughts. That would be enough
Oh, that would be really great! ^^^, I am happy about much help because I also love to find new ideas.
always happy when I can help with ideas. ^ If I may, I would like to help more often. Zb so to read it in to find mistakes.
Great! Got something in the head. Thanks for being really helpful 🙂
so let more of her person glimpse, what does she just feel what she thinks, why does she do that, you always ask yourself as a reader.
Okay, thanks.
Hello,
I don’t know how old you are, so your text is hard to assess. At the moment everything sounds a little unfinished. There is an effort to create images, but they only arrive in a crowd. The rates are partly exaggerated, interrupted by interlocutory links (‘what’). Adjectives have high economics, commas are on the other hand rarifying, times are jumping together. Then a few words don’t match what should be said. The action itself is a little too fast. So, 1a is by no means the text.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write further. This is better by length than most of what you can find on WattPad. But if you want to do it seriously, there’s a lot of work ahead of you. Are you registered in a reputable writing forum? Probably not, otherwise you wouldn’t set the text here.
Making money with bookwriting: In Germany, 95% of the authors represented by a publisher (!) cannot live from what their books bring. So you can’t hang your expectations too high.
All right :), I just want to try it because I want to make and write texts. It’s free. I would also like to try.
Absolutely right. Especially it is fun!
As I said, my tip: Sign up in a write forum if you really want to work hard on your texts.
Tip 2: Make anthologies with tenders. There you have a small bar, whether your stories are good enough to be published in a book.
Good luck.
That’s right, there’s always a failure. But I’m trying! Thank you very much.
This can only be an incentive to become even better the next time. And yes, not every story is taken, I’ve got some bad news.
Thank you. I’ve been thinking more often than not, fear that I couldn’t make it.
It’s nothing for me, sorry. Sure, metaphors, big pictures, always a nice thing… but if it gets too much, it doesn’t seem pleasant to the reader anymore, but rather confusing and the story loses the focus.
I mean… I’m reading Tolstoi right now, and he’s pulling out with landscape descriptions… but they’re just descriptions. They go to the cookies at some point, but you usually don’t lose the focus in the whole thing.
In addition, I find that you use VERY many adjectives that are not necessarily suitable. Or what do you want to say about ‘shrall silence’?
In short, I don’t really know what exactly you want to tell me and it’s too much in my eyes. I also find it stylistic not necessarily top, I would still work on the use of adjectives to make them just more precise and rather go to show dont tell regarding some aspects. Just as you do, a lot of things work here very ‘written but heartless’.
Just this scene… someone knocks on the door, she’s surprised, maybe a little frightened, expecting someone to jump in… and then it’s quiet and she’s apparently relieved?
All right, I’m still working on this piece and accept every criticism! ^^
Yes, it always takes some time 🙂
That’s true:) I’ve improved so well in a few years and didn’t know that I’m ready now. I would have thought so many more steps back.