Would you rather have a child of your own making or adopt one?
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I do not care. The main thing is that it's happy.
very great attitude!<3
It's a shame that single men aren't allowed to adopt children :/
oh.. yes!
This is a bit of a strange question. I think very few people here even know what it means to adopt a child.
First, you're thoroughly assessed to determine whether you're suitable to raise and care for a child. Many fail this step. But even if you're actually suitable, you still don't automatically get a child. In Germany, there are many more couples who want to adopt a child than there are children available for adoption. In my district, for example, there are about 10 couples who want to adopt—but not a single one has been approved for adoption in the last five years. The waiting times are correspondingly long.
There is also the option of international adoption. In many poor countries, there are many children seeking new parents, but even here, the waiting times can be extremely long.
And when you eventually have a child through adoption, that's when things really begin to get going. The mother-child bond begins during pregnancy. With adoption, this initial bond is obviously missing. It has to be built slowly. That's not easy.
In addition, an adopted child always has a history of their own experiences (and these are often negative). Even if the child is placed with the adoptive family immediately after birth… the loss of the mother alone is often a huge burden. Many children adopted also ask themselves "why." Why were they given up for adoption? If the biological mother has other children who were allowed to stay, it is often even worse.
Why would someone put themselves through that when they could have a biological child? The only reason would be if they had a genetic defect they didn't want to pass on. But otherwise…
A child fathered by me, because then I know for sure that the fetus/baby was never exposed to alcohol/drugs/cigarettes during pregnancy.
I would like to have a child of my own making.
With an adoption, you can never know exactly what the child's genes are like, especially psychologically. With your own child, you could be a little more certain.
Are you worried that it will kill you at night?
I would be more concerned that the child might have fetal alcohol syndrome, for example.
Without the help of the family it is very difficult to raise children in Germany.
If the child also has health/psychological/emotional problems, many parents despair.
I meant that you cannot automatically demand that others always help you
An adopted child and an own child are not the same.
With an adopted child, you have to expect that they will bring with them health, psychological, or emotional problems. And you have to deal with that, because you can't just exchange the child.
But that also means you have to be honest with yourself. What can I/my partner/we do and what can't I do?
No, you are not always on your own.
There are also families where the grandparents or siblings live nearby and are willing to take the child to speech therapy, for example, twice a week to relieve the parents.
Or one parent has a very well-paid job, so the other parent can stay at home if necessary.
Basically, you're always on your own…If you have your fears, then it's better not to go ahead with adoption.
That's not the point.
In the 50s, 60s and 70s, young mothers had their healthy babies taken away and given up for adoption.
Today, something would have to be seriously wrong for a mother to give up a child for adoption. And for there to be no family members who could take in the child.
If you adopt, you have to expect that the baby may not be completely healthy.
And you have to be able to deal with that. As a family, you need a strong and resilient support network of family and friends. And I just don't have that in that form.
That is very exemplary of you
No. My own children definitely do not suffer from FAS, as I didn't drink any alcohol during pregnancy.
Your own child can also be or become ill or suffer other strokes of fate.
I have two self-conceived children and four spiritual children who were "begotten" by God. Spiritual children are adopted by God and recognized as His children.
Adopted
Wow, you did? I think that's really great!!!<3
Our own are better than children you adopt and who later turn out to be psychopathic pyromaniacs:):):D:D
No children at all! 🙂
huh? who prefers an adopted child to their own?