Will nicht mehr bei Eltern/Familie sein?
Ich m/18 habe nun mein Abitur und fange im November eine Pflegeausbildung an. Danach evtl. ein Medizinstudium. Ich will nicht mehr zuhause mit meiner Eltern leben. Ich mache es nurnoch, weil ich kein Geld habe bzw. Weil es sich nicht lohnt Geld auszugeben und jmd. anderen Wohnraum zu nehmen der es braucht, obwohl ich welchen habe. Dennoch, wir kommen aus dem Süden. Mein Vater denkt nur an Geld. Soll ich doch für 5€/h schwarzarbeiten, es gibt dann GELD. Selbst wenn er falsch liegt erfindet er etwas sodass er recht hat. Meine Mutter scheint immer an seiner Seite. Ich bin sein Sohn und solle ihn IMMER und ÜBERALL helfen. In seiner Abwesenheit lästert sie über ihn und gibt für Dummheiten Geld aus und wenn er da ist spielt sie regierend mit ihm am “Thron”. Egal was ich tue es ist nie gut genug. Ich will doch nur wie meine Mitschüler beim Abiball Eltern habe die froh für einen sind und ihn auch feiern lassen. Stattdessen eine fresse ziehen, weil ich nur ein 1,5er Abitur habe, obwohl sie nach der 8. Abgebrochen haben. Ich habe mein Abi und Geld gespart und wollte bis zum Ausbildungsstart mit Freunden reisen, aber es wurde mir verboten und ich gammeln den ganzen Tag zuhause oder muss zimmer renovieren. 10mm betonboden mit einen Hammer wegmachen, da eine geeignete Maschine Geld kostet. Als beide im krankenhaus waren habe ich sie 1monat gepflegt und hin-und herkutschiert und ich bekam nur ein “nur essen und schlafen, das ist alles was du kannst” zu hören. Mein Hobby ist seit 15 jahren schwimmen, 3 mal die Woche und viele kommen im Moment nicht, weil sie für Klausuren lernen müssen. Das ist das einzige was mich nach dem lockdown aus dem tief gebracht hat und nun scheint wieder alles zu bröckeln. Wenn ich mal Spaß mit Freunden habe, vergeht die Stimmung sofort wieder wenn ich daran denke wieder mach Hause gehen zu müssen.
Kennt ihr eine solche Situation? Was würdet ihr machen bzw. habt ihr gemacht? Ist ein Dach über dem Kopf essen/trinken selbstverständlich ? Das dachte ich immer aber meine Eltern finden es respektlos (aus ihrer Sicht) nichts dafür zu tun.
(3 votes)
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Tell your father clipp and clear that he may first make an abitur himself before he speaks a 1.5 Abi with 18 badly – he should be ashamed if he does not pay you any recognition for this performance. You deserved a gift, and you didn’t get a fron work.
And why don’t you just go with your friends? You’re all year round and he can’t forbid you!
And if he’s too greedy to buy a machine that can be used to grind concrete, he’s supposed to do it by himself…
In the future, your parents can also pay a nursing power if they treat their son so ashamed. What did you get for your help?
For pupils, there is an accommodation in the hospital – better a tiny room there than the terror of your father. And for your studies, you’ve been looking for a room in a student’s home – they have long lists…
At the child benefit office, you apply for the payment of the child benefit directly to you as soon as you no longer live at home. You only have to change your residence officially (so register where you live).
For your studies, you can apply for BAFöG – maybe you can also find a scholarship for prospective medical professionals who commit to taking a practice in the country where there is a lack of doctors. Some federal states offer that.
Good luck and don’t let you go.
Thank you for your answer. If I told him so directly, I’d probably get a missing one. I’m trying to make your advice sneaky. If I stay at home, I can’t get a bafög. If I extend, trainees can receive up to 700€/month without refund. Because he’s hanging on the money, it might work. Thank you
When I was 17, I woke one of my mother after she beat me unjustly. Since then, she hasn’t dared to touch me…
When I was 45, I dared to tell her for the first time that she just wanted to harass me – she was silent and didn’t try again…
So trust and show resistance. Your father doesn’t stop being nasty as long as you don’t give him much contrast.
If you don’t get a BAFöG, ask for funding programs for medical students who want to practice 10 years in the country after the exam! In any case, you can ask for accommodation right now in the hospital.
I think an excerpt would be right for you. I think the Youth Office can still support you with 18. There are youth groups or caritas/diaconia often something like WGs. Invest time in accurate searches. Ask the office if you can apply for help.
Dabke for your help. I know it sounds contradictory, but I think about heras I feel as if I betrayed my parents aor so. I’ll probably cancel or minimize the contact later, but so it doesn’t look like I’m doing it extra. I also have two sisters. One is studying abroad and the other is 3. The younger one won’t get anything. I’ll see if you’re going discreet with the youth office. I have read there also for balanced azubis up to 750€ bafög. I just remembered. Thank you for your contribution, I will research
Can I give you a tip? At the Youth Office you can often be forwarded to young social workers who try to help. These could be your older friends, and then you could try to find solutions without the Youth Office.
Take the best off. You’re all year round and probably healthy, aren’t you? What are you waiting for? That’s just how it might be better.
You’ll have to pull out as soon as possible.
The Youth Office is not going to help you, I’ve read somewhere else here that you should have done it with 17.8 months or so….
I don’t have to be right about it, but you don’t expect it.
But you can get a lot. Well, don’t worry, don’t worry. If you move out, you have to look at the one who volunteers or you have to try to make an application that goes to another account. There may be housing allowance or something. I don’t know.
no it is not self-evident that you have a dach above the head and eat and drink free of charge. you should be grateful and the tasks in the budget of your parents are not only self-evident, but also prescribed by law for you.
it’s up to you to go and take off. If you have enough money for your own budget, you will find out.
Think about whether it is economically feasible?
And how high will your gross trainee fee be? Does KH & U offer accommodation?
I’ll be around. 1140€ brutto so get about900€ net. Would it be better to invest/saving, so I try to stop it. The KH is a good idea. I’m gonna ask.
Thank you for answering me
Have you ever wondered whether your father / your parents will continue to give you free food and logistics if you earn a relatively high trainee fee from November?
That’s a good argument, I didn’t think about it. I think if I help them. I think it would be better to stay there economically, but psychologically/health well.