Wieso habe ich meine Emotionen nicht unter Kontrolle?

Self-confidence

Who am I when my feelings are more powerful than my mind?

Published on:

12-2020

5 minutes reading time

We all know them: feelings that are so strong that they put out our thinking. As long as it’s positive, we don’t see it as a problem. But what do we do with the negative? A conversation with Mareike Zimmer, consultant for personal development and lecturer for business psychology at the European Fernhochschule in Hamburg.

Content at a glance

• A controlled handling of feelings as well as control over emotions is part of the social competence that we can change and learn, right woman’s room?
• Why is an appropriate approach to our feelings so important?
• What can we do about it?
• What kind of situation could that be that triggering negative emotions in us?
• How can we get more constructive reactions?
• What attitude, what view of us has influence on our perception of the situation? And can we change our attitude, take a neutral attitude and free ourselves from negative emotions?
• Can we also distance our fears?
• But do we really always have the choice to react appropriately or inappropriately in an emotional situation?
• The body of our emotions
• Life with all our feelings. What we can do

Our emotions have a direct impact on our motivation, on our ability to make decisions and not least on our health. In particular, negative emotions can block us, prevent us from thinking clearly and limit our ability to act. Mareike Zimmer, consultant for personality development and lecturer for change management, talks here about an appropriate handling of negative feelings, by which we can increase our personal potential and well-being. A controlled handling of feelings as well as control over emotions is part of the social competence that we can change and learn, right woman’s room?

Yeah, that’s right. We can get to know, rethink and steer our feelings. Emotions can be optimized so that much benefit can be created. And that also applies to negative feelings that do not do us well in many situations, provided we live them unreflected. It is crucial for a proper handling of our emotions that we do not just accept our feelings as if we have no influence on them. Why is an appropriate handling of our feelings so important at all?

Negative emotions such as anger, anger, envy and jealousy lead to inner blockages in the predominant cases. They let us perceive reality distorted and prevent us from thinking clearly, thereby limiting our ability to decide. This often leads us to behave in a way that does not benefit us. We say or do, for example, things that do not bring us on in the situation or that we suffer later. Those who do not succeed in interrupting these negative minds are increasing more and more into negative feelings and thereby endangering their well-being and health. What can we do about it?

In order to no longer helplessly be delivered to your own destructive emotions, one should realize the following: There is a trigger for every emotion. A situation, a word, even a certain sound or a scent can trigger emotions in us. What emotion this is and how much we experience it depends on our personal experiences, attitude and way of thinking, as well as our very individual perception.What kind of situation could that be that that triggers negative emotions in us?

If someone is of a different opinion than us, we can interpret his objection, for example, as a confrontation and rejection of our person and feel upset, injured or helpless – triggered by our personal thinking in this situation. Our individual perception of the situation thus triggers negative feelings within us, which lead to an inner blockade and restrict our scope of action in the situation. If we fail to distance ourselves from the negative feeling, we usually react inappropriately. In our trouble we attack our counterpart verbally, become loud or leave angry the room. If we are injured by the objection of our counterpart, we are insultingly withdrawing or reacting with accusations. How can we achieve more constructive reactions?

Instead of perceiving the other opinion as confrontation and rejection of our person, we can accept and apply the objection as other opinion. Emotions are a product of our personal view and thinking. We should therefore make the situations that trigger negative emotions in us.

“If we are injured by our opponent’s objection, we are insulted”

Mareike rooms

Consultant for Personality Development and Lecturer for Business Psychology

What attitude, what view of us has influence on our perception of the situation? And can we change our attitude, take a neutral attitude and free ourselves from negative emotions?

Let’s make a simple experiment: Let’s compare what effect the following two sentences have: “Today will surely be a very difficult day.” And: “I have the idea that today is a very difficult day.” Perhaps you notice that the second sentence is not so powerful and therefore less powerful. The more we manage to distance ourselves from our thoughts, the more neutral the attitude we take in spirit. And then we don’t take everything so personally. Can we also distance our fears?

We can achieve this by consciously perceiving the feeling and calling it – internally speaking for us or even loudly – “I just perceive fear with me.” Calling a negative feeling already takes him the manipulative force. We should always make it clear that this negative feeling affects us when we give him that we will not react appropriately from the negative feeling. We should therefore take the time that we need to distance ourselves and our negative emotions. Sometimes it may be useful to move a conversation that is emotionally burdensome for us to a later time.That’s why we don’t get rid of negative emotions, but we weaken them.What services does AOK offer to cope with stress?

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Determining my AOKBut do we really always have the choice to react appropriately or inappropriately in an emotional situation?

Yes, we can influence how we feel in a situation and how we want to react. Finally, we ourselves are responsible for our feelings, thinking and acting. Even if our interlocutor wants to irritate us, it is up to us whether we respond to the behaviour of our counterpart. We can decide whether we are upset, speechless or frightened. We should make it clear. Because only this consciousness makes us a director of our world of feelings, no longer a statist who is helplessly delivered to his feelings.But do we really always have the choice to react appropriately or inappropriately in an emotional situation?

Yes, we can influence how we feel in a situation and how we want to react. Finally, we ourselves are responsible for our feelings, thinking and acting. Even if our interlocutor wants to irritate us, it is up to us whether we respond to the behaviour of our counterpart. We can decide whether we are upset, speechless or frightened. We should make it clear. Because only this consciousness makes us a director of our world of feelings, no longer a statist who is helplessly delivered to his feelings.

The body of our emotions

• A show runs over the back, or the anger rises in the head: how true many types of speech are about human emotions, scientists found out from Finland. For their study, they have exposed subjects of emotional images or films. Then the participants marked on a chart where they had felt an emotion physically the most. With this information, the team around Lauri Nummenmaa of Finnish Aalto University has developed an atlas of our emotions and published it in the specialist magazine “Proceedings” in 2014.

Life with all our feelings. What we can do

Of course, it would be good for our well-being if the pleasant sensations prevail. It is crucial that we create conditions so that they can adjust more easily. This succeeds by paying attention to a good relationship of tension and relaxation and by handling our body well. All this increases the likelihood of feeling positive.

#Coaching

♪ Conflicts

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