Wie würdet ihr das beurteilen?

For the first time, the issue of identity and trust is left to the outside: being put into an unknown host family is anyway better, as precisely this unknown, to which one must adapt as exchange students in the whole, is an important factor why student exchange contributes to the personal development of the students and ultimately also to authenticity. Take a thought experiment, your parents would just move to the USA with you. You would then be physically in the USA, but you would have the same German life at home as now in Germany, because you and your parents would have no reason to make anything different than you have always done. Compared with this, when you come to a family that is completely unknown to you and which has no relation to Germany with some probability, you will have to get to know each other first (“You are doing so and so?! Nee, so we always do so and so…!”), and then there will perhaps be more or less critical questions in certain sensitive subjects, and there may also be misunderstandings and disputes. In the worst case, there are these disputes, which then lead to a change in the host family or to a completely outbreak, but in most cases it is (even from both sides! However, more from the exchange students) a certain adjustment takes place. And this is the moment when, after returning, there are also outsiders: “Human, the exchange student has developed abroad!”

With relatives or acquaintances you already know, this is a middle thing between these two extremes.

And now on what it is:

my mother has begun to talk that it would be embarrassing to send me to people they know (my parents) because my room is always so messy

It is noticeable that she has only now packed this on the table, although she seems to have been dealing with this issue for some time. My guess: it’s about the money. Your parents could put it on, but they would like to save it.

That sounds so banal, but it’s really a topic for her

I have been on the go for a few years now on a good question about student exchange, and I have noticed how astonishingly often the topic of identity is a very unbanal issue, but on the contrary very big issue, but mostly vice versa. How often I have answered questions from exchange students who think about a change of host family or a break, because their host family is so unclean, whose house is so full, etc… That’s why I stopped underestimating this issue a while ago. If order is a topic that lets exchange students think about breaking down their exchange year, then it won’t surprise me at all if order is a topic that lets parents think of exchange students not to let the year begin.

that as GAST I would naturally behave differently

I understand what you’re talking about, but the first question is why it’s not possible to prove that in advance, and secondly, you won’t feel like a guest for a year. You will also want to feel comfortable this year in your privacy. From our own experience and experience as a supervisor for exchange students: any glowing manifestations, one will make this and that quite different in the year of exchange than before, ending to 75% in that one will fall back into old patterns sooner or later. On the other hand, I do not think that your disorder is so bad that there will be problems at all.

They said they had no confidence in me, that disappoints me.

Leaveing your own child into another country for one year is a huge proof of trust that many of you, whose parents do not allow an exchange year, envy you. In addition, you could also turn this spear around: how disappointing it must be for your parents that you would have trouble for someone else but not for them 😉

So long answer, short conclusion: I would make placement in another family, save money and discussion with parents, and to the greatest need for a year in vegetarian diet to push one eye or another.