Wie soll ich meinem besten Freund erklären, dass sein Vater nicht schlecht ist?
Hallo,
Also mein bester Freund und sein Vater waren damals SEHR eng, es war so… seine Mutter hat damals ihn mit dem jemand anderen betrogen (die Person ist innerhalb des Familienkreises). Als der Vater die Wahrheit herausfand hat er die Familie verlassen (vor ca. 2 Jahren) Die Mutter will den Vater als den „bösen“ abstellen. Mein bester Freund bekam Kontaktverbot zu gewissen Person die, die Wahrheit wussten. Ich hab sie auch erfahren (keiner weiß, dass ich sie weiß). Er hasst jetzt seinen Vater und auch wenn er wiederkommt würde er ihn hassen, wie kann ich ihn erklären dass sein Vater nicht der Böse ist!(wurde in unserer Stadt und Polen gesichtet)
(3 votes)
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I think one has a right to truth, I would want to be friends of my closest, that they tell me that and I would also say it!
also depends on how old your best friend is I would say with 12/13 vllt more difficult to process than with 17/18
Stay out of this.
put yourself in his situation. he lives with the mother, thinks that the father is the “bad” and has no contact with the father.
if he now learns that it was completely different, how would he get to know home?
If you want to tell him, at least wait until he’s gone.
Always explain on the basis of positive examples, even if they are not currently accepted.
It’s probably the question that WESHALB’s mother went strange at that time… probably she wasn’t happy in the relationship with his father…
Otherwise you’re not going strange… if the world is okay, are you?
Apparently, your friend shouldn’t know if or what happened at that time.
These are my thoughts.
Maybe your friend is severely disappointed by his father, because he doesn’t care about his son or even reports to his child. Why this is so, we don’t know again.
The father can also suffer from the separation from his son. But we don’t know. Therefore, your friend should not allow himself to be judged in advance and see his father as bad people.
Then tell him the truth. If he believes you then stands on another sheet of paper…
Just telling him the truth.
I would explain to him that it was the mother’s fault because his father is not the evil
But how do you know that?
This is a difficult situation, and it is understandable that you want to help your friend know the truth without hurting him. Here are a few steps you could go to gently explain to him that his father is not evil:
Show understanding of his feelings: It is important that you first show that you understand his feelings. He may have the feeling of being abandoned by his father, and is deeply hurt by what he was told. Give him room to talk about his feelings without interrupting or condemning him.
Careful questions: Instead of saying that his father is not guilty, you could ask him questions to help him think about the situation. You could say something like, “Did you ever ask yourself why your father left? Do you think there may be things you don’t know yet?” This could make him consider the possibility that the situation is more complex than he thinks.
Bring neutrality: Try not to immediately take party, but put the idea into play that there are often two sides in separations. You could explain that there can be many misunderstandings in such family situations and that the truth is often complicated.
Mention the welfare of the father: You could ask your friend if he ever wondered how his father is, and if he thinks his father is happy to be separated from his family. This could awaken compassion and change the angle of view somewhat.
Tell the truth when it is the right moment: If your friend seems to be ready to learn more, you could tell him carefully that you know more about the situation than he might think. You could say that there are things that weren’t told him, and that it might be time to learn the whole story.
Encourage a reconciliation: Explain that anyone can make mistakes and that it might be important to listen to his father when he comes back to contact. People often earn a second chance, especially in such difficult family situations.
It will probably take some time until he processes his feelings and is ready to hear the truth. It is important that you give him time and patiently accompany him.
Lg.