Wie lerne ich, meine Schwiegermutter zu ertragen?
Hallo,
ich lebe zusammen mit meinem Mann, meiner Tochter und meiner Schwiegermutter unter einem Dach. Sie ist krank und pflegebedürftig, sie wird bei uns leben bis sie irgendwann in ein Pflegeheim kommt.
Kurzum: Ich kann sie nicht ertragen. Ihre egoistische, herrische und hinterlistige Art ist mir zutiefst zuwider.
Ich ertappe mich täglich mehrfach (!) dabei, dass ich sehr negative Gedanken ihr gegenüber habe. Es trübt meine Stimmung.
Ich wünschte mir eine Haltung bzw. einen Weg zu finden, wie ich mit einer gewissen Leichtigkeit damit umgehe. Ich möchte meine Gedanken und Zeit nicht mehr ihr widmen, sondern mich schönen Dingen zu wenden, die mir gut tun. Aber irgendwie schaffe ich es nicht, mich von meinen negativen Gedanken/Haltung ihr gegenüber zu lösen. Wie schaffe ich das nachhaltig? Habt ihr nen Tipp?
(2 votes)
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Oh, that sounds hard. I could only theoretically suggest something to you because I only know this constellation approach.
Talk to your husband how best to handle it.
I’d go back and forth and make some nice trips with your daughter–without the pussy monster. Go out with your husband more often. Take a good time to win a distance.
In the end, you won’t be able to change your mother-in-law. Try to make the best of it. If she’s mean again, try not to get to you and tell you, the poor sick woman can’t be different, ignore her and try something nice again
I wonder. I live in Italy. I owe myself. My husband described them as selfish and evil, and made contact. I didn’t want this to happen, but I kept the contact with Whatsapp because I wanted to build a bridge and had the hope she’s okay and maybe because I wished a mother replacement. The facts are: in the 12 years I’ve been congratulating with my husband for my birthday only once, last year. We congratulate her every year and gave her something. Her son, of course, also congratulated her every year and sent money. I didn’t check it that way at first, but at that time I became more and more clear that it only keeps contact from calculation, as I am the link to her only son. It is 82 years, now widow and very demanding. My husband says she was never a mother for him, as she always gave him away, to grandmother, to boarding school, to grandfather. Actually, she’s a sympathetic woman, but now I know that she has contacts only to take advantage of it, and if it’s just sociable. In her emigrant circle, 2 friends of women died this year, with whom she and her deceased husband sat on a regular table for over 15 years, but the death of these women didn’t really give her what. In the meantime, I’ve kept my distance and I’ve buryed her by writing her very clearly that I’m worried about how unreasonable she lives. Criticism cannot bear it. She’s gone too far now. I don’t care.
Get out of the distance. I can now write a book about my mother-in-law. Egoist – Gorgeous – Insidious – Evil uvm
Do you have a closed apartment in the house for you? Otherwise, I’d go out and hope my husband’s coming. Who knows how long it takes to get your mother-in-law to the nursing home….
Thank you for your approval. It’s good to hear that you don’t feel like that on your own! Thank you.
Distinguishing is not a topic… My husband hangs on his mother. I understand. Don’t want to be selfish. Conversely, I would like to be there for my mother… In this respect, I must accept it as it is, but it is so difficult to develop a more positive attitude …
Dear Marla31675: but if you do not do well, it will be very difficult for you to deal with the situation. Your husband must remember. Hope you’re strong, you can only tell me the trouble with the mother-in-law left traces. Luckily, my marriage is not broken, my husband took some time to look behind the evil games of his own mother, that is certainly not nice when you realize how evil is your own mother. But he then completely agreed to contact his mother. We really live next to each other as neighbours, but we don’t even tell each other the days. It is so and so it has become much better and more relaxed for us as a family.
Mother-in-law, old people in general, are often bitter.