How can I not care about other people's comments?
Hi,
I need advice on how to deal with comments like these about other people's eating habits.
A few days ago, I was sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch. This guy from my class was there, and he hadn't seen me eat anything in the last few days. I don't know if he knows what's going on with me right now, because no teacher or anything like that said anything. Anyway, I ate something that day, and I don't want to trigger anyone here, which is why I won't write how much or how little I ate, or how much I consider something to be. My friends definitely said it wasn't too much at all and were actually proud that I ate something. The guy next to me then said, "You ate almost as much as I did" (I won't write how much he ate either), and my friends immediately defended me, which I really appreciate. I didn't say anything, left, and then went to the bathroom. I know that's not the right way, but I have no idea how to deal with comments like that. It hurts so much, and I don't know how I can not care. Does anyone here have any tips? maybe even struggles with anorexia and how I can become less sensitive about these issues?
If anyone has read this to the end, thank you very much, I really appreciate it.
Best wishes <3
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Hey, I also had to fight with the subject for a long time and still have moments in which I have to tear myself together briefly, for example, if I eat a lot more/equally like my friend or someone tells me “that was a good portion you had there” etc. What you have to consider is that every person is different and that is also true for energy needs. Genes, sports, tangibility in everyday life, movement and much more play in. And then it happens that we’re not machines. There are just days when we’re hungry more than others. It is important to eat tired and you also have the right to eat at any time, whether it is a proper portion or whatever the society perceives. Healthy people do not think about it – they eat, as they are hungry and comment there, without thinking and without any thoughts. But the disease twists this in our head and makes a “you eat too much” from the probably positive feedback (the same with comments like “you look totally healthy, much better than xyz weeks ago” – from this will be a “Oh God, you are fat”). As a hint, I can only give you to listen to your body while eating – just when Anorexia nervosa is in the game, it just needs more food to heal. Both physically and mentally. And you deserve that, or you don’t have to earn it. Everyone has a right not to have hunger or suffer at all, and you are just as worth it as everyone else. And to the comments- that helps time. You need to make you aware that these people usually mean it honestly positively and want to encourage you, they just don’t know that they do exactly the opposite. If you can, tell them – my unfield has stopped my request to make any comments on my eating behavior or physical changes. Stay on it and with time you become more mentally stable, you will notice that these comments will not throw you out of the way with time.
Sorry it’s been so long and I can’t do it for you anymore. Greetings and great success in recovering!
Thank you.
This has helped me so much.Everyone has been this long message you wrote is so sweet.There’s just a motivation to see that others have made it.
I hope you feel better and thank you for your dear advice!💭
You can also send a friendship request if you need to talk. I’ve been in therapy since 2017 and I’ve made great progress, I’m back to 90%, I’d say so. And if you want, you can do that, too:)
I honestly don’t know what’s so bad about that sentence. This is a factual finding.
It was a “you’ve eaten almost as much as I haha normally don’t eat anything, why are you eating so much?” because I thought that only such answers come, I asked if there are people who have to fight with this mental illness.If you don’t understand, just don’t answer and be happy about it:)
Just because you don’t like my answer, she doesn’t have to be wrong. Maybe you should consider if you’re unnecessarily interpeting something.
If I say I don’t get out because it’s raining outside, that doesn’t mean I’m complaining about the weather. Maybe you can see that.
Thank you for all the dear words, wishes and advice!
No thing, all right. I felt very sensitive. I am eagerly very empathic but vllt was my mindset that you are orientating when you realize that several people are telling you that you should not take such an important thing. My other comet was also a little arrogant, I’m sorry! That was more of my mood and not of you.
I hope the other answers will help you. :
I can only say that you probably know that the Mager addiction is not the actual point. I’m not affected, but I can imagine that it’s pressure from the outside that makes you feel bad. 🙁 And then you’re looking for something where you’re self-determined. Where you can determine very strongly yourself. You know how it hurts you. It’d be great if you could be more free. So you don’t have to escape this stupid behavior. It’s mostly up to other people. Then you must always remember that you have the right to set limits! Even with people close to you. Your word counts as much as anyone else. And you also have the right to distance yourself if someone doesn’t do you well.
Maybe there are other probs you can’t solve right now. But: The mountain only works so high as long as you stand before it. :
If you can create such a free space if you win sovereignty, then the chances are good that you will be able to eat normally again in this free space. I wish you that.
If I can tell you that? I saw a long-term report on the TV from one of those who did not get rid of the problem for many years. Her mother always said it was good with her, but I still felt uncomfortable. Years later, the daughter went better after she distanced herself from her mother. Thought I’d always known that. (Don’t mean you have something to do with your mom)
Thank you.
shouldn’t get angry.I’m clear that I interpret the sentence too much and that’s my problem, why I wrote the question.
Again apology and I didn’t want to attack anyone, but as already said in the message, I’m grateful that anyone ever gets through my message.
It sounds so stupid, but get over it. It’s hard, right at the beginning, but at some point it works. Take care of yourself and your well-being, otherwise you can never fight your illness.
Thank you.
Are you in therapy? You can talk about it.
I don’t understand what the phrase says: “You almost eat as much as I should.”
There are much worse sentences.
He hurts me.I’m mad.I’m happy for you that you don’t see anything bad about it:),but I’ve been crumbling for days.
There are definitely worse sentences,but if someone breaks his arm and weeps, you wouldn’t say “you could break your leg, that’s much more painful.”
Some sentences are just a statement and no cause. I had said to an acquaintance the other day, “Look at the two on the bank” and she got angry and shouted, “Don’t you think we’re getting old.” I wonder what I did wrong, it was just a hint, not an assessment.
Yeah, and that’s what I get.
I’m sorry for you…Look and so everyone else has sensitive topics