How can I free myself from my current bout of depression? And would it be necessary to seek professional support?
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My childhood was by no means carefree, and my personality was also always characterized by complexity. My relationship with my parents was challenging. Although I loved them deeply, I rarely felt able to reveal my thoughts to them for fear of their reactions. This led me to hide many things from them. I was often told that I was the "black sheep" in the family and that they were particularly disappointed in my father. Despite these hurdles, with considerable effort, I completed secondary school, then attended secondary school, and finally earned my Abitur (university entrance qualification) at the age of 22.
I then studied civil engineering for two and a half years, unfortunately unsuccessfully. At almost 25, I found myself unemployed again, living with my parents. As before, it was made clear to me that I was a disappointment compared to my siblings. After a year of job changes and numerous applications, I began an apprenticeship at the age of 26. I successfully completed it in 2020. Due to the uncertainties caused by the pandemic, no apprentices were being hired at that time, so I found myself unemployed again.
I decided firmly against relying on state support and took every available job while simultaneously pursuing a position in my chosen profession. Financially, this was a stressful time, so I temporarily lived with my parents. The atmosphere was extremely tense, as I felt almost daily pressure to finally start a family, even though I was single at the time.
I met my future wife at the end of 2020, and we moved in together in mid-2021. I moved in with her, about 500 kilometers from my hometown, and found a promising career opportunity there. Everything seemed to be going well, which led us to get married in mid-2022.
Exactly four weeks after our wedding, my wife died unexpectedly. I fell into a period of depression, which also affected my professional performance. Initially, my employer was understanding of my situation, but after almost a year of no improvement, we separated. Although I quickly found a new job, the company ran into difficulties after less than six months, resulting in many employees being laid off during their probationary period.
Since then, I've been unemployed again and struggling with a multitude of stressful thoughts. Partly because of the tragic loss of my wife, and partly because I feel like I've failed in life at over 30.
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Very unprofessional from the therapists! It’s normal that you don’t say anything in the first hour. Moreover, it is not about who had the worst childhood, but that you have symptoms that limit your quality of life massively.
For example, if someone slips into a depression because of a misconception, a therapist has to take it as seriously as, for example, bad violence experiences in childhood that lead to depression.
It is about your suffering pressure and limitation/effect in everyday life.
I think it’s very negligent.
So it’s hard to keep looking for therapists.
By the way, it is usually not the ones in the 1. Hour tell what they have experienced and how bad they are, who are really bad.
But it’s usually the ones that keep a lot of secret.
Your text sounds like there’s much more. Especially dealing with your parents’ expectations and it seems somehow in the broadest sense to go for self-worth (when I am a disappointment, when not? Who do I have to “supply”? What kind of concept do I have from the “smart” and does this concept really good to me? etc.). So yes I already see psychotherapeutic approaches. Maybe it’s better to go to someone who’s profoundly psychologically educated rather than behavioral therapeutic, because they’re more concerned with how to be influenced by past relationships (in your case by the relationship with your parents).
I think professional help would be good if it was financial. A difficult childhood/youth and the death of a loved one are experiences that are very difficult to process, because you can get help quietly;)
Is it not also possible to contact a psychiatrist who also offers these services for legal insurers?
Boah no idea
Because of your deceased wife, I would recommend you – even if it was already a bit – a professional mourning.
This works a little different than it makes common therapists.
You can basically forget your family because they are only interested in achievements and how good they are with others.
Thank you. Isn’t a funeral accompaniment associated with considerable costs?
And by the way… I won’t forget my family. Although my parents were often very critical with me, they always supported me.
I can’t say anything about the cost.
You better ask for a non-binding question.
You don’t have to forget your family – but then show them your borders.
Tell them what their comments do to you.
Hello depri2,
seems to me, your “lucky tears” started really hard after you had to break the study to the building studio.
Apparently you’ve been working like a magnet on everything that feels like grief.
You are entitled to psychotherapy, where a therapist helps you to interpret and revise all these negative experiences without wanting to leave them, because they are your fate.
If it doesn’t work without medication, your therapist would take a psychiatrist to the boat, but I’d go the way until psychotherapy shouldn’t be helpful to you.
I look kindly in your direction….
Depression is a disease, you can and should accompany it medically.
So on your question a clear yes.
I feel beaten, but I’m not sure it’s depression.
This info needs your doctor.
There’s a Depri spiral, you can work well.
Otherwise, they are a new hobby with people you like and who like you. Sometimes it helps in the right direction through the positive impact to get the push from the everyday straw.