How can I still heal in this family?

Hi.

I have a very strange family.

I'll just tell you so you can get an idea.

•My stepmother plays hot and cold with me

•My father gets angry very quickly

•My stepmother likes to judge me for many things

•She gives me looks that are really condescending

•She treats me the way she wants.

If she's having a good day she's nicer and if she's having a bad day I try to avoid her.

•Because I was raped when I was nine, I went to a day clinic. To this day, they still laugh at me for my weakness.

I could tell you a lot more, but I don't want to judge anyone here. However, I'm wondering how I can heal now. I've had severe depression in the past, and now I've come out of it with some gaping wounds. I'm often working on myself, and I'm healing, but I've made more progress than ever before.

Sometimes I come to my room in the evening and I despair.

How can I heal in this family?