How should this behavior be assessed?
Fictional scenario: After 3 years of relationship, M (man) and F (woman) had a big argument and there was a brief ice age with them moving out (they had lived together for 2 years before that) and everything that went with it.
After 3 weeks and some reflection, we decided to try again together, with 100%, instead of the usual 80% as before.
M was away with friends from her hobby over the weekend.
Meanwhile, F has a difficult living situation, as he is currently living with his neurotic father and his grandmother, who suffers from dementia, which is extremely stressful overall, to the point that he sometimes has sleepless nights.
Now F, because she feels bad about this and also because she misses M, wants to see M again late Sunday evening, at least for a hug as emotional support.
F was within walking distance of M and asked just that – whether M had 3 minutes left for a hug and a goodnight kiss, as it was really important to F due to the bad day.
M, however, says that M is so totally tired and broken that it is not possible.
A "Honey, but what's going on? I thought we were at 100% this time?" is met with a cold "It's nothing to do with that, I'm going to sleep now, good night."
The argument that one "cannot" go back to one's father and that one has nowhere else to sleep was met with only an emoji of a waving arm and "good night" with no further response.
(1 votes)
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I think the housing situation of F is certainly very burdensome. But it was also foreseeable, but F decided to do so. If she doesn’t realize, both of them could have been looking for another solution together. But F immediately wanted to give a support from M without considering how he was going, who had a long day behind, where F didn’t even know how he was going.
The reaction of M clearly shows that he knows F exactly and where it will lead, because your behavior was probably nothing new for him
I’d say the relationship’s over, there’s no retry. It’s cold on both sides, because with the question you mean you and your friend. Name him and yourself with H and F cannot be more strange and cooler.
M no longer attaches value to F. From behavior certainly not the fine English way but ultimately human. The relationship is over. Maybe M is still moderately sexually interested in F, but no more.
Btw: from 80% to 100% relationship level to upgrade by separating the residences I do not feel as an upgrade but as the opposite.
Btw #2: In the concrete situation here I feel more like M. F needs comfort for a problem that comes from the family of F. Any other neutral toasting would also have to go in advance for F. Since there were already problems between F and M, M has no incentive, especially with the reference to the 100% relationship level. M now clearly knows what this means to him when F “androhts” the 100% relationship. At night get out of bed for problems that are not his. F, on the other hand, will have no problems with looking for another toaster.
This is the end of this “relationship”
This question was asked and answered a few minutes ago.
Ahh, now I understand the phrase “of her hobby,” although it was about him. The rolls of M and F were exchanged. M’s probably the one who misses someone in the original. That also makes much more sense.