What do you think of this poem of mine, do I have talent?
# The change
Once I was an incel, lost and alone,
My reflection showed only sorrow and pain.
The jaw line sagging, the cheeks so drooping,
My self-esteem was more than just threatening.
But then salvation came, a light in the night,
The Mewing, a path that brought hope.
With tongue and lips, in constant effort,
I shaped my face, a true renewal.
The cheeks became narrow, the jaw defined,
My eyes shone brightly, my gaze was reborn.
The old Incel was no longer to be seen,
An attractive man now stood in front of the mirror.
My charisma awoke, confidence returned,
I felt alive, filled with pure happiness.
No longer an outsider, but a man full of grace,
Thanks to Mewing for turning my life around so wonderfully.
(4 votes)
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I read your poem,
but it does not rhyme throughout.
You have to make more effort in sealing,
then you bring more readers to glow.
You use words that some are unfamiliar,
the poem is already ruined.
Now you got some criticism from me,
I hope I didn’t take your courage now.
My criticism is not directed personally against you,
I’m sure you understand.
Haha thank you
And thank you for the ⭐!
Abooow, excellent performance! Magnifique!
I think the poem is quite stupid. In German, I don’t like it. I also like to tell you the reason, the guy who speaks these words,
He can’t suffer women. Think they just want to avoid him because he is small and ugly because he doesn’t deserve for two,
No big card has, not muscular, thin like a sheet, and he has no Jawline… but the women think: oh no…
It’s enough if he’s sweet and nice, not too thin and not too fat. True and polite is also good, decency, heart, brain and courage.
No matter how big he is, No matter how long the plinth, If he – tja- her type is holding, she feels in the seventh heaven.
It rejoices in your world.
Everything else is not present.
I find the parts with “Incel” a bit unpleasant and I would find it better if there were not only a-a-b-b reime.
write poems and also likes my more of the topics, but personal opinion
I’d be grateful if he had at least held the AABB rhymes…
Well, there are also poems without rhymes
Boy, boy…
The Incel of Service, so you can call it.
Scares every woman and takes her to the race.
Always wondering why he’s still alone
and is himself guilty of all this embarrassment.
All that matters is his body construction,
He’ll be deceived by every woman.
He constantly advises what it is
every tip to the character he naturally bends
and blames his failure
the so ignorant women’s dogs,
his jawline and his hair without nits
not to be appreciated despite all his tiredness.
That’s good too!
There’s no pre-existing measure, you’re using rhymes at the beginning, and then suddenly stop it.
The content is not exactly better.
Regardless of content… you can easily see how the form of the poem continues to fiber.
What doesn’t make the beginning better. It works in my eyes, the end is unstructured, and rhythm can also be considered at best or with a lot of will.
Apart from the terrible content, you have a boring dimension and hardly metrum
My self-esteem was more than just skinning.
The Mewing
I used to write the word fat because I can’t start it.
So ‘dräu’ is actually there. But I only know it from a Macbeth translation.
However, I must stress that I doubt that the term in the ‘compression’ is usefully used up there.
I’m overwhelmed by the Mewing. That sounds like ‘Incel’.
😂😂😂😂 sorry,but are you serious?😅😅😅
W,55 kissed several times
Optimistic but as a dwarf man difficult to grow in life as a human being. Word literally…😪
That’s right. It’s not exactly a poem for Heightcels.
a modern era 😀
Cruel…