Similar Posts

Subscribe
Notify of
4 Answers
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ally143
1 year ago

I personally find your short story very beautiful and well formulated. You have also built feelings and tension, as well as the environment etc.

I would have written the story a little longer in your place, so something else that brings a little everyday life in. Maybe you let him greet his best friend at the beginning or explain exactly how to use his machines or how to work on the day with a strange feeling.

I would definitely add literal speeches, otherwise it may seem too much like a fairy tale or a fable. Except of course, you want to achieve this effect.

I hope I helped you a little.

Give0a0hand
1 year ago

Hey.

So I find it very well written. Maybe you’re still writing where Max was when everything went into the air. If he still has so much power, it is a miracle that he was not dead or beaten. His eardrum would have to be burst.

Is that the end or is there anything else? Glad to go a little deeper 🙂