How do I best explain to my mother that I want to move in with my father?
Hello.
I'm 14 years old and live with my mother. My parents separated when I was not even 1. They don't get along very well and don't talk to each other.
I talked to my father about wanting to move in with him. He thinks that's a good idea and has already contacted the youth welfare office.
Next week, my father will call my mother and tell her. I'm terrified of her reaction because I don't want her to be sad.
My father lives 3 hours away which means I would have to change schools (I hate my current school).
I wanted to ask if you have any idea how I can explain it to my mother without her being disappointed and sad
Kind regards
Anonymous
(1 votes)
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Just explain the real reasons why you prefer to live with your father. But you can only decide this at 16 alone. Until then, your mother would have to agree that you’re moving to him. This is primarily about you and that your mother does not like your father should not play a significant role in the decision.
From 12 the child can decide alone, from 8 it can also decide.
in Germany certainly not. For other countries, please indicate the right source.
Yes, in Germany.
She will be so sad or so sad she has taken care of you for 13 years alone, but if you tell her you only want to live the experience with your father she will surely let you try it if you don’t like it with your father, you can talk to your mother
I think you should consider this step very well. You don’t want your mother to be sad. But that’s her and it’ll always be. She’s taken care of you for 14 years, and I’m sure she did everything she could do for you so you’re okay. And if you don’t want her to be sad, you love your mother so that you don’t want to be your father.
I think that your real reason is to change school. One reason that no reasonable person would accept. If you think you’d be better off at another school, you’ve certainly been very wrong. If you don’t get clear at school, it’s not just about the pupils and teachers, it’s about you.
But apart from school, this is living with your father. You probably only know him from weekends and/or holidays together. Do you even know what his life looks like, how he deals with stress, anger and other difficulties? What he does in his spare time and if he’s always there for you if you need him?
If you don’t think about it and also that it will never go better with your father than with your mother, you will certainly regret this step.
But the only one that can hurt you is your mother.
I can’t even change school
Well, you’re writing in the question that you should change school. And now you can’t do that at once??? It doesn’t fit together, does it? But I suppose you wanted to react somehow because you don’t like my answer. But why should I advise you something bad, I don’t know you at all. I just imagine your situatuon and your mother’s.And you can believe me, with my answer, I just want the best for you both.
Well, it’s up to the FS alone to judge that, right? It seems, however, that you only have some fun criticizing instead of answering yourself. It’s a kind that can only hurt you.
Your answer is not exactly helpful.
I can’t. She’ll be disappointed and sad.
but she will survive.
It is about what the daughter does not want the mother i
The question of the questioner was: “I wanted to ask if you might have an idea how I can explain it to my mother without it being disappointed and sad” and now read the answer I gave.
How many days a year have you been with the father? What does he want to do to him? After over 13 years he wants to buy you with gifts & stupid promises? What was the reason for separation that he was before your 1st. Birthday made out of the dust? He wouldn’t have a chance with me anymore! The repentance & insight would be too late!!!
Someone has had bad experiences and now transfers them to other people.
were they asking you back then? well!