What should I do with my autism?

Hey, I'm 18 years old, male, autistic and I have serious problems in my life because of it.

I find it difficult to do things that others take for granted. For example, showing emotions, recognizing emotions in others, making friends, integrating into social groups, cultures, or societies, etc.

I have an IQ of 138 and am very good with numbers. I have excellent problem-solving skills. I can interpret case studies very quickly, draw conclusions, design solutions, and develop strategies. This is actually a core competency in business or finance. I could very well imagine a career in this field.

My communication skills aren't necessarily severely limited, but rather only when the communication is interpersonal and not on a professional or technical level. So, customer contact wouldn't be a problem for me either.

Unfortunately, companies don't care about my strengths. The only thing they want is the ability to work in a team. It doesn't matter where you apply. Skills aren't important to them at all; the main thing is that you fit in well with the team and get along well with the others.

I'm finishing my university of applied sciences entrance qualification this year and have excellent grades, especially in math, economics, and English. I write really good applications, and I can easily take aptitude tests with my eyes closed. I'm currently applying for dual study programs, so I usually get very far into the application process before it even gets to a group assignment or an interview. That's why I keep getting rejections one after another. No company wants to even give me a chance.

Recently, I even managed an interview. I came out of my shell a bit more and addressed more personal questions, not just the technical ones. I prepared well for both personal and trick questions. I actually told them that I'm very team-oriented, and I even had a great explanation for it.

I was rejected because of minor "nuances." The feedback was, "Yeah, he would have liked me to have focused a bit more on the team in the case study." I don't even know what he wants. I even kept explaining tasks and issues to a competitor because he didn't get it. I constantly asked if they agreed with a certain approach, whether anything could be changed, or if they had any other ideas, I was open to compromises, etc. My group members were also quite relaxed and friendly.

Things aren't going well in my personal life either. I hardly have any friends, my classmates hate me, and I'm constantly being insulted and made subjected to weird comments. Whenever there are problems, it's always my fault. I don't fit in anywhere or feel like I can integrate. And it's been like this for years: no one wants to be friends with me. I'll probably never find a partner, let alone start a family. I wish so badly that I could just be like everyone else. Even if it meant throwing away my intelligence. My strength is of no use to me at all, because I'm still a complete failure at everything.

I could improve if people gave me constructive criticism instead of derogatory comments. Of course, I insult back, and then I get into trouble for it. After I told a girl that because of her height, she could give me oral sex while standing, she naturally went to the teacher and started whining. Luckily, the teacher was pretty decent.

Are there perhaps mentoring programs for autistic people where you can learn, for example, how to interpret other people, communicate better, or develop empathy? Or should I simply become self-employed and open my own business to choose my career? I would also need to lay a foundation for that first.