What problem do I actually have?

I've noticed that I've been suffering from something for some time now. Yes, I have severe mood swings, I'm listless, I have a strong fear of loss, especially in relationships. My relationships can be very unstable. I feel a great deal of restlessness inside me. I don't know who I am anymore. I usually think that everyone just wants to harm me or see me suffer. I usually get such severe anxiety attacks that I don't know what I'm doing and then I usually cry. Sometimes I'm so paranoid about everything that I can't stop my thoughts. I've often had to deal with alcohol and drug use in my life. Life hasn't been easy for me at all. I suffer so much from loneliness, feel completely alone and lost. I really have almost no one in my life, just a few friends, but I'm mostly alone. Lately, I've just felt a lot of restlessness inside me, I'm not interested in anything, and I just think and slowly I'm thinking about death. I really can't cope anymore.