What do you think of this idea of history?
I'm currently planning a story that involves several kingdoms/people groups, each with a certain "element." These would be the Scorpios (moor), the Salacer (sea), the Nivier (snow), the Brilliants (gemstones, metals), the Ioviths (thunderstorms), the Baldurs (spring), and the Estellen (stars).
These kingdoms are in a kind of parallel world, but are still in the normal world.
The main characters of the story are the young Erik and the girl Nora.
Nora has known about the other world since she was little and spends a lot of time there. There, she is trained as a warrior, along with her companion, the ice wolf Phelan. (She belongs to the Nivier.)
Erik, a Salacer, on the other hand, knows nothing about all of this until one day he meets the water dragon Nereus.
Nora and Erik already know each other because they go to the same school class, but they don't have much in common until Nora discovers Erik's abilities and challenges him to a duel, since the Salacers and Nivier are old enemies.
The duel is clearly defined by Nora because of her greater experience.
But when Erik and Nereus are about to lose, the fight is interrupted by an unknown person.
He gives Nora the task of searching for the Seven Treasures of the Kingdoms, while leaving Erik injured.
Erik, whose anger towards the Nivier is awakened, sets out to find the treasure of Salacien to protect it from Nora.
The rest of the plot then triggers the whole thing.
And what do you think of the idea?
(2 votes)
Loading...
As a rough outline not bad first. Depending on how accurate and detailed you operate your Worlsbuilding, there is a lot of history in it. But I lack the motivation of the two Teens.
I mean, there’s two kids knocking, and one of them is supposed to find artifacts, and does that make it standless? That’s pretty far out.
(a) Who gives an amateur such an important task? Another child whose absence will certainly be noticed?
(b) What kind of Teen believes a stranger who shows up and talks about “worldly importance”? You have to build the Chosen One Rail more skillfully.
The same applies in principle to Eric. Wut may be a short-term motivator, but as long-term motivation it is boring. He doesn’t know the girl, and the rivalry is only a few minutes old for him. Developing a plot does not produce much. Why worry about something that didn’t matter much of the past life?
Honestly, if I had a kite as a partner, I’d care about a potential fairy-world. I’m gonna die first in my life that I know.
You write about pupils. Students, without (a lot) experience with the parallel world or the prevailing politics. No one who is still clear with senses will expect a student to perform such an important task quickly and cleanly. To do so without further heating up the conflict. What would be possible to establish the two as scapegoats, and in the background to have the real work done by professionals. What a pretty exciting kniff would be.
There is a reason why the unknown selects Nora for this task, and there is a reason why he chooses half a child for it. (Naive, hate-controlled teenagers are easy to manipulate.)
And the characters have quite motivations, but I have not yet decided to do so.
This is not necessarily a concrete idea, but rather a rough setting. And fantasy ponds with different folk tribes are now nothing that is remarkable.
Otherwise… if you have several rich or folk tribes, then the story must also be correspondingly rich in content, if you want to have ALL in it OR you make several stories that all play in the same universe and always focus on different cultures etc. etc.
Or you just don’t mention a few at all, but then you could have less.
In short, it’s an okay basis to build on it, but it’s very complicated. CAN you do… whether you do it ultimately is also a question of how much time you are willing to invest in the story.
So, wait… they’re in the same school class, and there’s no one who’s keeping them from duel to life and death, if necessary?
Reminds me of any aspect in my fan fiction…
But WARUM? I mean, this has something about ‘he… I need a competent force for an enormously important task. Who am I taking? You can choose:
Tissaia de Vries, mayor of magic, an unspeakably capable magician who has been coming through the world for over 400 years and has probably researched mysteries that we cannot even comprehend…
Geralt of Riva, Witcher and Monster Slender, a mutant with outstanding combative abilities, enormously sharpened senses, practically indestructible (if not to come into contact with dung forks!)
and
Brenda Goldilock, now 15, has been training since she is 5, has a magical owl as a pet.
And well, this owl could be devastated as Philippa Eilhart and thus contribute to the plot, but normally people are looking for enormously great tasks NOT students. At least not targeted.
That’s also my biggest crack point.
However, the two Teens could be run as distractions and scapegoats. According to the motto: Give them the task. They will inevitably attract all attention and if they go on (which will probably be – to the need, because they kill each other), it will not hurt anyone. In the meantime, the right team can work undisturbed in the background.
This made it possible to knit one or other story.
I’d just want to read that if it were a very exciting, thick fool of at least 100,000 words.
For a short story, I would not have liked to read myself into the peculiarities of seven different cultures in the urgent procedure.
Thank you.
Nor will all seven kingdoms play an important role.
I write a love novel in which I read the readers two to introduce different “cultures” that will most likely be foreign to readers. In my book, this is the unfortunate attitude of a protagonist and an exotic resort. I find it very difficult for these two “cultures” to take the reader in, to let him experience strange views and to avoid long explanations. I always break my head over how to replace this or that explanation with an action that explains itself.
I see you added the question and told more about the story.
I think such a story can only be good in a really thick book or an extensive book series.
If “she is a warrior with ice wolf” is not only a description of the main person, but the reader experiences at least 100 pages of the book, as she meets the wolf, gains his confidence and closes friendship with him. When the reader participates in their successes and setbacks while being trained as a warrior. And so on.
In my opinion, this would be a book project where an author years should work.
I’ve been working on my book project for a year and five months. It makes me happy to fulfill this world and the characters more and more with life. But you need a lot of self-discipline to stay on when it takes months to revise the content.
I understand what you mean, but it’s not always necessary to explain everything, and a few things are clear with time.
Moreover, these kingdoms are not the complicated places.
In addition, there is still the possibility of a glossary. (Not for important things, but for small facts and not relevant knowledge.)
Sounds quite exciting. Should in any case become a longer story, because 7 people/cultures are a lot.
If it’s exciting and clear, I’d read it.
Find the story well. If you want to get out as a book, I’ll probably buy it. Or as a movie it would be great. I’m fine.
I always think very little of ideas. For the simple reason they don’t care about me. The result alone is what counts. There are many lousy ideas that virtuos have been able to awaken my interest, just as many fantastic ideas that their author is completely unhappy about. Your idea first reads like the typical fantasy squirrel, painless, reactionary, inflated. This does not mean that a handcrafted author could not make an interesting novel, provided you like the genre. But since no one knows if you’re such, all speculation does not bring anything, idea back or forth.
It’s cool. Luckily don’t hold the typical fire, water, earth, air and the main character is also strong. Just take care that she doesn’t come over unsympathetic.
So far, so known. More or less like all stories of the last 10 years.
Logically, it doesn’t make sense for me.
What makes no sense?
such a typical youth novel
is nothing for me
Thank you, I almost forgot what genre I’m on my way.
I would have said: typical fantasy novel
for young people