ByKoala500
https://www.wattpad.com/1268869490-blackout-part-1
I've already asked about the story, please read more than the first chapter if possible (it wasn't that good), and yes, it's more for children. Teenagers, that is.
Lg Marella please only sensible and serious answers
(2 votes)
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I received a notebook as a gift. It's A5 and has completely blank pages. I never take notes, so I wanted to know if you have any good ideas for what else I could do with it. It's probably not suitable as a sketchbook, since the pages are a bit thin. Many thanks in advance…
Heyy, I'm a little confused. I actually have a rough idea, but I just can't find a storyline. Here are the things I have in mind: Three siblings who have abilities (Thornpaw /-claw [tom]; Birdpaw /-blossom [she-cat]; Emberpaw /-heart [tom]) Main character is Thornpaw /-claw Idea: He is the "favorite child" of his litter, as…
I've been thinking about creating my own short story. It might be a story, since it's a bit longer than a short story. However, I'd like some helpful comments and advice on how it reads—stupid, boring, dumb.
Don't be surprised, you can read the story without having to register. Simply log in as a guest. My story: https://storyban.de/app/?s=42030 A review of the entire story would be good, but I'm mainly interested in the third chapter. Of course I am also open to objective criticism. LG Marco.
Hello, I tried to sign up for Wattpad today, but it didn't work. I don't know why. Here's a screenshot.
I’ve read the first 4 parts of your story.
I think it’s good that the beginning is not so typical (“she stands up and goes to school”). You’ve avoided such a fan, which I find very good. Also, you describe the inner life of the teenager fittingly, I think this time stress is very up-to-date. Livia has problems with stress as she has a packed schedule. I also like your writing style, for example I liked “Livia floating overjoyed”
The cover and the flap text are fine but not perfect.
I also have a few suggestions for improvement:
Oh, it would also be very nice if you could evaluate the story of my brother 🙏🏻☺
SECTION 2
Because of Katherina’s story or her name, it wasn’t that good. This is better, but I just read many other books and have no time to read it completely. I don’t care about that. But bad is not the story
Thank you for your great feedback
So I am finished reading ^ So I must say for 13 the story is not badly written. Of course there are here and there are spelling mistakes but this happens to me all the time, I can read a chapter a thousand times and find a mistake again and again until I am sure that all of them are gone and then after upload find one more.
What I have more to criticize is the thing you change between the forms of time. This is not pleasant when reading and can affect the reading flow.
The story in itself, I have to say honestly is not mine, is just the millionth romance story and somehow they always run the same way. I think it would be better if you were to deal more with the conflict/the relationship with Oliva’s mother. For the fact that her week is so packed, she is much too relaxed towards her. So if my mother was like that, I’d be freaked out someday and I wouldn’t have been smiling.
Also try to put some more into your characters to give them so deeper that not only the person from whose view you write the story may have a character that others too. They look a little flat.
So what I want to say with it, you have a quite solid writing style, with air up and I think you’ll still improve when you keep writing. (So if I’d read out stories that I wrote with 13, I’d probably smash my hands over my head)
Thanks for the long, good feedback 🤗
So I find the story too hectic. All the thoughts of the main person “Hilfe, oh gott, no… no” I find exaggerated and somewhat childish and generally I find the whole idea behind the story somewhat boring, at least not mine.
But the story is not bad either.
got it gschaft haha.
It’s nothing special, my opinion. It’s okay for your 13 years.
You could just write the chapters longer, but of course you haven’t read so much of your story yet I think if you still work a little bit on your writing style, that can be really good. You obviously have enough ideas.
LgL
Is that what a 13-year-old would write? It’s not really good, but if you keep working and don’t give up writing you can improve 🙂 and you don’t have to upload everything you write right away. Always read it again – from my own experience: you can never hide enough.
The spelling errors will also lie with the years.
Okay. I continue to practice
I noticed the flap text. So I don’t like this. I would never have looked in because such a long dialogue that basically does not express anything does not raise my interest. Maybe you should revise it to get more readers.
Please note the spelling. It doesn’t have to fit 100%. But close to it is always good.