what do you think of my poem?
(1 votes)
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I love it.
It’s purely subjective anyway, how to evaluate it. Since I am no one who judges poems ONLY according to rhythm or only according to the rhymes, image painting or otherwise any RULES of German language and poetry, but rather according to what the poem wants to say :).
I personally find it a pity that most successful poets and also reviewers and critics seem to be German fetishists. In the sense that one can be fine all the rules of poetry and only then a poem good. In the meantime, many poems don’t fit in properly.
I like the philosophical part of your poem and can interpret it myself. That’s enough for me and that’s nice.
If I read a poem that speaks only about superficial, I would perhaps pay more attention to metaphors and visual and rhythm. But anyway, at least as far as the building is concerned, I don’t have such a fine feeling for it, unlike the many empathyless writer fetishists who tell you openly in the face that you’re too fucking to write properly.
For example, I’m often told to use a lot too many extras when I speak. I personally understand everything, even if I read it again in the case of articles. So it also makes sense for me in the construction 😂. I’m using side-sets to explain the sentence before, or more often to take up new thoughts. And I don’t understand why others don’t understand. You can’t even get deeper.
Some things fit and resurrect, some things do not resurrect, and some things resurrect, but they do not make any sense.
I don’t find the remnant change (sometimes pair-time cross-reim) so well.
Apart from that, I find it too long and without reasonable “order” or beginning and end.
But if you like it, everything is supi )
Thank you!
Here you go.
It is not true, it is too long and more like a prayer with question marks behind it.
It is also not very original, and you occasionally throw words together that do not fit together.Listen or face?Neurons and neutrons? deeds and meaning are at least 3 not 1
I think it’s bad. But you must really like it.
Your point of view is valid, even if I keep it that way. But thank you for your criticism 🙂
Well. Good poems must be superficial. The real good poems find others stupid because they understand them differently.
Please, what do you define under “original”, what do you mean that a measure is not true (a measure cannot be wrong, it can’t please you) and why isn’t your hearing and face fit together? It has both to do with the body. But it doesn’t even have to have something to do with each other. Also neurons and neutrons do not. Sealing is art. And art is completely free and intuitive. All these poetry, poetry, linguistics and German fetishists are really going to the sack 😂. In my eyes, these are not artists, but rule fetishists, who are adorned with a low-swelling, spiritual poem, because the poet seems to be very language and word. They completely ignore the fact that painting can also surpass other poems that have better dimensions for it. No poem is perfect and will get a star in all these criteria. Everyone decides what criterion is most important for one.
Sure, then you could also reimburse foot nails and hairpins, have both to do with the body, or also air cushion boat and space death, mosquitoes and breathless…the common denominator can be found safe. If you ask "be with me a honey bee or a cigarette stuffing machine" it is not that both are "existed" or? But if you draw a comparison, would it be useful to compare neurons and neutrons? Otherwise, it's just trying to get rid of it.
"Carpet, drown, cheerful, pattern, dark…?? Gloomy, devastating, deserted…pattern…overOVER.UP->Carpet!"
How do you like my completely free, intuitive artwork? Didn't last as long as I brushed my teeth. And so suggestive.
Of course you can do without a measure, but then you should not try to reimburse.
And what poets, lyricists and linguists do you think you're just going to the bag?
But I am grateful to you that everyone can choose what he likes for himself. Or how to answer a "How do you find…" question. Totally free spirited by you.
So it’s less the poets who insult you unworthy, but the people who like these poems? There are also people who like the Hokey Pokey or the duck dance. Not because it would be original or even free spirit, but simply because it is catchy and spreads good mood. Is that my bag? Yeah, mostly. But sometimes I can make a spark of understanding. Maybe I’ve just broken too many rules, and I’ve seen a little bit milder.
And perhaps I would have replied more conciliatory to the above-mentioned poetry if it were not so hard. Some word forgings can trigger a feeling with a few lines.
“The Lord, I will build Madonna of my pain, hidden altar in my deepest heart.”
“The night that black stars appear. And strange moons circle in the sky, but stranger is the lost Carcosa”
“But before he comes, something else worth fame is done, worthy of us men who take with gods.”
“I am Ozymandias, all kings. See my works, their mighty, and despair.”
“Dear the Hell King as the servant of heaven.”
Of course, it would be foolish to compare the immortal words of Baudlaires, Chambers or Miltons with ambitious Internet podiums. But, and it is important that these kinds of words cause something in the people they read or hear. Even in the most dull soul.
I mean people who like a poem only if it exactly corresponds to the metric, for example is written completely pure in the jambus. Those who like a poem only if they are pure mime, or if you put the answer in the face of the person. Where is the free spirit, the rules breaking and the NEW? Although it is necessary to say that, for example, “the glove” by Schiller is metrically also “single up”.
So “Honig bee” and “Zigarettenstopfmaschine” sounds incredibly good together. This could be a good visual poem.
Hello
I find your poem medium
It’s not bad to ask just I don’t think it’s great if only ask in the verses stand
Also, I don’t find some reime suitable because they are just getting the comparison doesn’t fit
Also I think you should get more feeling in
Thank you.
Relatively good. If I had to evaluate it with a scale of 1-10, I say 7/10. There are things that might be improved, so anyone thought that there is little logic in remorse.
However, I would like to say something else: Recently I had a rather strange dream and always heard this one sentence: “The blood in me is not my property.” A little strange. In any case, Your poem shows the knowledge of a person who has gathered a lot of knowledge. The carelessness blossoms and thrives the knowledge. Kind of weird. But that makes it so special! With time, one surely collects experience, knowledge and gains a lot of knowledge. A really interesting poem.
I find it very nice, but I have a problem with some inconvenience, especially those that arise for the purpose of reimenation. In addition, I now see the metrum less, which, in my opinion, is far more important than the rhyme scheme, etc.
Otherwise, I like your content very much.
Conclusion: In my opinion, you do not have to press your content in such a way and should pay more attention to the metrum. You certainly have potential!
I think it’s really good! Respect
It’s okay. There are a lot of simple mime in it.
That’s madness, it’s potential!
Thank you.