And are you trying to break the habit? Does it bother you?
For example, there was always a lot of yelling in our house. I always thought it was normal to argue so much until I was with someone who had a quiet family with normal discussions. It's really hard to break that habit.
(5 votes)
Loading...And the bread was as he had wished it in the morning he is 8
My parents worry too much about me and if I get bad grades they won't let me go out with friends. My father blames me and says that I don't prepare at all. My mother understands me and supports me more. My friends want to go out with me at least once a week. And…
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We always celebrate Christmas with six people (grandma, sister, dad, his partner, uncle, and me). Since my sister and I now work and earn our own money, and can therefore all afford expensive things , I want to give everyone something similar and with sentimental value. Do you have any cool ideas for around €10-20…
Hello everyone! My post is going to be a bit long… As far as I can remember, my parents had a pretty toxic marriage. My father was the toxic one, and he verbally and physically abused my mother. He also verbally and physically abused us, but not as severely as he did my mother. His…
Hey, I'm pregnant for the second time and due in the fall. I didn't have that much pain during the first birth. Sure, it was painful, a lot, but it wasn't that long, about 4-5 hours. How was it with your children? Are you currently pregnant too? 🤰 LG M.
My parents are very, very fussy about little things; they pay a lot of attention to detail. It started to annoy me, especially when I moved out—my standards were way too high, and I couldn't impose them on my roommates. I'm trying not to be like that now. It also makes you very unlikable. Cleanliness and order are important, but too much is too much.
I was the black sheep in our parents' house. Although I was part of the "family," I never truly felt accepted or welcome. I suffered from the many "negative" practices there: arguments, hatred, unfair accusations, prohibitions, alcohol, smoking, humiliation, ignorance, bullying, etc.
I never thought what happened there was right, and I never wanted to live that way. That's why I tried to put all the negativity behind me when I moved out. I try to live a positive, tolerant, and considerate life. I don't like arguments and try to resolve conflicts calmly. I generally avoid alcohol and would never smoke. Nevertheless, that upbringing probably made me a bit too introverted, too reserved, and a bit too cautious and distrustful of other people, which makes it a bit difficult for me to make new friends.
The tragic thing is that the black sheep often becomes the scapegoat.
A new, modern name for this is 'Cycle Breaker'
Yes, unfortunately, one does often become the scapegoat in such situations. But now I can almost understand this mechanism… because as the "black sheep" and often also the "weakest link in the family"… it's easy to ultimately blame such a person for the whole thing. Because picking on someone who can barely defend themselves and offers little resistance must be an empowering and satisfying feeling.
But it's interesting that there's even a term for it. I've never heard it before.
Even after so many years, I find the conversations with my mother interesting. Today, she often tells me that, due to her own problems and experiences from her own childhood, she couldn't have acted differently. Unfortunately, my mother is the only remaining contact with my "family"… because the rest of us somehow remained trapped in this old pattern of behavior.
I'm ashamed to cry in public. I have this subconscious fear inside me that whenever I have to cry on the street, for example, I'm afraid people might see me. My father always told me to stop crying in public. It's embarrassing, etc.
And before, I didn't care. I still cried and didn't give a shit when others saw it. Now, I often notice that it automatically makes me uncomfortable in public.
What do you mean by bad? I unconsciously adopted some things from my grandfather that, nowadays, might be reminiscent of the 70s and 80s, but I live with them and haven't experienced anyone serious reacting negatively to them. I'm conservative in the truest sense of the word in many ways, but I've learned to appreciate it – with growing self-esteem and my own experiences and understanding of human nature, you can accept yourself. I'm not trying to break myself of anything – if someone doesn't like me because of that, then that's just the way it is, then they should find someone else.
Discussions are actually quite good – as long as you stay objective and don't immediately resort to ranting and ranting. A family thrives on exchange, and we enjoyed a lot of debate at home, for example, about politics in the living room. Stern, Spiegel, and Focus magazines were always at hand, and I learned a lot from them as a teenager.
I actually can't think of any 🙂