which prologue is better?

A short tip… I’m picking up some word repetitions. Try to avoid them. Especially with a very short prologue as you have it, something really falls into weight, just when it is in the same sentence.

Besides, I would make the sentences a little shorter.

I’m also a huge huge fan of box sets, but the readers will thank you if you add a point from time to time… this is a lesson that I had to learn painfully VERY:)

Otherwise… I was openly not standing as far as a prologue starts and the other one stops.

At Prolog 1:

It means that if you are in danger, you can think clearly, but that didn’t happen to me, and that the body put a gun in it, didn’t agree with me, my legs were shaking like pudding and my lips were tingling.

He really said that before I could react, he kissed me again. I couldn’t think clearly. The person in front of me made me crazy and the person in the room was it.

There’s nothing to be said here, and I don’t know why you’ve got this kissing scene. Okay, if you still think that the person wants to kill her (first sentence of the whole question). but why can she be kissed, so close?

Sure, it’s always nice when the prologue opens up questions that make me read more as a reader, but here I am a bit confused.

It means that if you’re in danger, you can think clearly, but that didn’t happen to me, and that the body put one in emergency, didn’t agree with me either. I barely felt my hands, the armored tape brushed them off, my body should be ready for a fight or a escape, should send adrenaline through the body, but I feel tired.

…

What’s wrong with me?

The only thing I understood was that I had trusted the wrong guy, but I didn’t understand that. The person standing in front of me was entrusted with everything and the person I wished was not here.

Why did that fit me why I had mixed myself in, I with my 14 years, was really too young to die.

I might get a little more violent in the first sentence. After all, your figure here is in an emergency situation.

So according to the motto.

Actually, the body should react to danger. Clear thoughts to decide whether to fight or escape. Adrenaline. A wild-beating heart that lets unheard force flow through my thin arms. Enough to tear the armored tape that holds my hands behind the chair.

But apparently my body decided to give up.

Otherwise… I find it a bit discarded, overall. You work a lot with ‘person’ and ‘person’… I find it a bit unhappy. But that might be just a ‘Me problem’.

In any case, I would make more, the whole situation makes something more plastic and tangible for the reader, less abstract. Because you have chosen a good foundation, I think… we have our protagonist (I accept) who looks at the safe death. You throw the reader into action. Now it is more about getting something more concrete without telling too much.

Just as for the person of the protagonist… clearly, the prologue isn’t about to introduce your figure, but just try to get a little more on her feelings. As I would do, I have already indicated in another one about your questions.

In short, I think the right setting for the prologue has definitely been found, that’s done so well… now it’s more about creating a bit more tension and getting this ‘swell between’ ‘not concrete enough’ and ‘counts us a little too much’ more accurately.

So, in the end, something that doesn’t allow the reader to fish completely in the trench, which is enough to make more 🙂