Warum werden Regeln und Ärger von Eltern oft mit Hass erklärt?
Hey,
Als letztes ist mir das in der Schule aufgefallen. Eine Freundin schreibt ständig schlechte Noten, und jetzt muss sie Nachhilfe nehmen. Das hat sie irgendwie damit erklärt, dass ihre Eltern sie hassen. Selbiges ist mir auch bei anderen aufgefallen, bei Dingen wie Hausaufgaben, Regeln usw.
Aber ich verstehe die Logik dahinter nicht. Wenn ich ein Kind hätte und es hassen würde, wäre es mir doch ziemlich egal, was es machen würde. Es würde mich nicht interessieren, ob es in der Schule klarkommt, oder nicht. Im Falle der Mitschülerin konnten wir sogar ein Kompromiss finden, dass ich ihr stattdessen helfe. Ich bekomme sogar oft vorgeworfen, dass ich froh sein kann, ohne richtige Eltern aufgewachsen zu sein.
Woher kommt dieses Denken bei vielen, dass die Eltern einen gleich hassen, wenn es Regeln gibt?
(4 votes)
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This is because many children/teenagers live only at the moment and do not see the whole thing. Parents know how valuable a school degree is when it comes to a career. The pupil does not have a bock on learning or remedies and would rather chill. She doesn’t see the reason why her parents punish her with remedies for bad grades.
Of course you’re right. It would be much easier for parents to just do nothing, no rules, no dispute, no stress. Because they love the child and only want the best for the child, educate them, introduce tutors and rules. This also applies to other rules, not just for school.
Such sentences are more of emotional helplessness and not of conviction. I used to tell my mother I hate her. Out of the emotion because I was mad. Superficially out because I felt unjustly treated by her. Looking back, I was rather mad at myself. Logic and reason are always at borders when the emotions become too strong. And especially in puberty, even the hormones come to make rational thinking sometimes difficult. Sometimes it is simply part of the ripening process that parents become a final opponent at times, and then one is in principle in the contrasting process, which one then also expresses radically and disproportionately. ;
Such expressions from teenagers should not be taken too seriously.
This is a lack of frustration tolerance. The realization that from actions always follow consequences, positive as well as negative, is not a native. It must be taught and learned and, in some cases, it takes longer.
The logic behind it cannot be understood either because there is no logic in it. 😉
I think the feeling that parents would hate one results from the fact that one does not feel understood and seen and from the fact that the parents react with something (help, rules), which feels nothing to do with one again, but rather aims at what parents expect or demand from one.
The parents’ reaction takes place on a “unwanted” behavior of the child, they want to stop something, such as mobile phone or computer use, or promote something, such as good notes.
For the child, however, what parents consider “unwanted!, is usually based on needs that parents seem to or actually go beyond, so do not consider. From the point of view of the child they do not understand what it wants or needs and that makes it angry or sad and it feels “hatched”.
I hope I have described it in a way comprehensible. 😉
Wrong education