“Warum hat er sich plötzlich getrennt, obwohl wir über Ehe gesprochen haben?”?
Hallo ihr Lieben,
ich brauche eure Hilfe wegen meinem Ex. Wir sind seit einer Woche getrennt. Mit 16 Jahren kamen wir zusammen und waren vier Jahre lang ein Paar. Doch nun hat er einfach am Telefon Schluss gemacht.
In dieser Zeit hat er viele Fehler gemacht, doch ich habe ihm immer verziehen und war stets für ihn da. Ich habe wirklich alles gegeben, 100%. Normalerweise hat er in schwierigen Situationen mit mir gekämpft und sich bemüht, die Dinge wieder ins Reine zu bringen. Doch diesmal hat er ohne konkreten Anlass Schluss gemacht.
Wir sind beide Muslime, daher war das Thema Ehe für uns immer sehr präsent. Wir wollten unsere Beziehung auf eine halal Weise führen und haben oft über eine gemeinsame Zukunft gesprochen. Noch vor zwei Wochen war er voll dabei, als wir über die Ehe redeten. Doch plötzlich sagte er, er könne sich das mit mir nicht vorstellen und wolle es auch nicht.
Seine Begründungen waren verletzend und unverständlich. Er meinte, ich würde „zu viel reden“ und dass er mir nicht vertraue – obwohl ich ihm nie einen Grund gegeben habe, an mir zu zweifeln. Außerdem behauptete er, unsere Persönlichkeiten würden nicht zusammenpassen. Dabei war er es, der mich immer durchgehend angerufen und den Kontakt gesucht hat.
Er hat mich schlecht dargestellt, als wäre ich ein schlechter Mensch, obwohl er genau weiß, wie liebevoll, aufmerksam und unterstützend ich immer war. Ich bin ihm hinterhergerannt, habe ihm gezeigt, dass ich ihn nicht verlieren möchte und dass wir darüber reden sollten. Doch für ihn war das nur nervig.
Er hat plötzlich Dinge erwähnt, die gar keinen Sinn ergeben, obwohl wir bis vor Kurzem noch glücklich waren. Er behauptete, er würde unsere Gespräche nicht mehr genießen – obwohl er es war, der mich immer angerufen hat.
Ich verstehe nicht, was passiert ist. Ich bin verletzt und fühle mich allein mit all diesen Fragen.
He might have got cold feet because he’s getting married too fast or he has an affair. But I don’t want to put any rumors in the world…
You think? But then he would say more, yes let’s wait or say something similar and not I don’t want to marry you can’t imagine it even though he wanted to be totally two weeks before. When I ran after him not to lose him, he said that would only be annoying.
I don’t know him, of course, but maybe he’s afraid to talk about it, and he’s better off. If he has an affair, then it can be that she wanted him to stop, otherwise she won’t stay with him. Or maybe his friends and relatives have convinced him. It sounds like an excuse.
You are looking for someone else, of course!
Yes, he’s suffering from depression. Thank you.
You should stay true to yourself and not run after him. It may also be good that he has problems with himself (depressions) but I do not know. These are just a few reasons. Unfortunately, many men are so that they stop at once. Be self-confident and talk to family/friends about it so you can get it better.
Yeah, that could be. What do you think I should do? These were 4 years you spent with each other….
No one can understand this on GF if you don’t understand it!
I can only tell you that some men are panic when they think that they should marry, i.e. “to bind themselves for the rest of their lives” – perhaps that happened to him.
Hi, I’m really sorry for you, I thought briefly we had the same ex 😅. That’s exactly what happened to me years ago. I was shocked and I didn’t understand.
Well, later, I learned that he had longer contact with another. And just after the separation with him came together.
I’m kind of sure you didn’t do anything wrong (if you didn’t get strange?).
Now the time has come to heal and gather new experiences. Head up and don’t let you get under. There are enough men in the world and, if he doesn’t want, he’ll surely want another. 😉
Good luck to you. 🌻
(I was brutally crying out)
Thanks for the good news. I asked him if he had another one, he thinks no, he wouldn’t be interested in it for a longer time because the separation is fresh. I really didn’t make any mistakes. I didn’t never get rid of him and I don’t really have any contact with any men and not even social media!
Did your ex come back?
All right, no he never came back and the phone was our last conversation. As I said, he never had the suspicion that he had another one because everything was so perfused and we talked about the future, even a day before 🤷 ♀️
So with me there was another one in the game. Well, after almost 10 years, I can say it was so good and I’m happy now. You must not forget that something bad for something is good.
You’re right! Thank you.
Maybe it will him but sense and maybe he but not so happy. Maybe he’s become aware of this when the subject of marriage was getting closer, he just couldn’t imagine spending his life with you.
As hard as it is, but you will have to accept it.
He is also totally convinced of his opinion. But I don’t understand why he was completely different about it two weeks ago
Maybe after that he started thinking about it or whatever.
He doesn’t love you. How it sounds
That’s what I thought and asked him. His answer was that he would love me but just don’t want to? And that totally irritates me…
Yes, this statement from him is either completely stupid or totally ill – but now seriously, do you want to be with SO someone?
Probably he was too cowardly – sometimes men are like that!
He didn’t even separate himself from me….
Yeah, but remember, “Besser an end with horror…”
Rational doesn’t look, emotionally, of course, as we were together for 4 years