Vor die Wahl stellen?
Mein Partner und ich sind seit fast 3 Jahren zusammen. Wir lieben uns sehr. Nun ist er vor einem Monat wegen seinen Kindern 7 und 12 nach Berlin gezogen damit das Wechselmodell statt finden kann. Seit über einem Jahr war es klar das es so sein wird. Nun April April die Jungs kommen nicht. Nicht besuchen kein Wechselmodell gar nix. Er ist nur wegen den beiden bei mir und meinen Kindern ausgezogen. Meine Kinder 5 und 12 sehen ihn als Papa weil sie zu ihrem Erzeuger keinen Kontakt haben. Jetzt will mein Partner wieder zurück zu uns (200 km). Ich habe gesagt entweder ganz oder gar nicht. Aber ich werde dann nicht wieder anfangen für seine Jungs eine Lösung zu finden wenn ihnen einfällt das sie dann wieder aller 14 Tage hierher wollen. Bei uns ist aufgrund des Verhaltens seiner Jungs nämlich keine Lösung.
Bin ich zu Hart weil ich ihn so vor die Wahl stelle?
Dazu bemerkt ich habe fast 3 Jahre alles mitgemacht. Wir hatten hier eine zweite Wohnung für die Kinder die wir aber aufgrund der finanziellen Situation aufgegeben haben. Dann waren sie aller 14 Tage bei uns. Sie haben aber hier beleidigt, geschlagen und alles kaputt gemacht. Deswegen ging das einfach nicht mehr um meine Kinder zu schützen. Dann aller 14 Tage hier bei ihren Großeltern wo sie sich auch nicht benommen haben. Vor allem werden sie auch älter. Und nun sein Umzug für die Kinder.
Irgendwann muss mein Partner doch mal die Augen aufmachen. Oder?
(3 votes)
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I don’t know the specific situation now, of course, but it’s just for your children that it sucks when they look at your partner as the right father and then suddenly pulls out. I’d make it clear to him. And if his guys are still completely out of the way, then as a mother, I would draw the tear line.
So, in short, I don’t think you’re too hard, but it’s about your kids.
It’s his children. I think it is unfair to force him to decide between his families. A certain level of cooperation will be necessary for you to see them.
A solution where the two don’t come home to you, completely okay. I’d do that. But these are also his children. For you, it’s the trouble peace, he loves her.
He moved there for her. And for what? So that they live 1000 meters away and were not even with him because they don’t want to see him. I worked for almost 3 years and I was looking for solutions for his children. And they didn’t thank… zero…
Sometime is good or not?
For you, maybe for your father..? I’m wondering what would you do for your kids – and would you stop saying that if they didn’t say thank you?
And what would you do if your partner would force you to choose between your children and him?
So since they were here only 4 days a month, I would say they live with the mother. We wanted psychologists with the children. Does the mother have to agree, and she doesn’t…. so more smart advice? We really tried everything. I have to do professionally with children and I am certainly very open and always try to find adequate solutions.
And then you just leave her to her fate? Interesting. Most parents would recognize it as what it is, namely as the result of a problematic childhood and poor education (and they are only half the time at his ex, don’t push it on them alone) and get help for themselves and the children instead of seeking the guilt of the children. Children are usually mirrors of their surroundings. But you can leave them to yourself, I guess.
But that explains, I guess. Well, your partner seems different, he moved to Berlin for her. Before the election his children were apparently more important (and this is also true, children are dependent on parents to use for them. Exciting that you do not.). You’re making him a very bad decision that doesn’t necessarily work well for you. And for your children, because losing a father figure is similar to losing the father.
So if my children were to behave so socially, the subject would definitely be through me. Who doesn’t care if other children or anyone else beats, complains, is insulted or everything is ruined by him. And everything with full intention.
correct, your view.
Door for the ungrateful children. Durable.
He must decide.
So I’m not too hard if I put him in front of the choice whether to stay there and see his kids, or not at all… or pull to us and then no more option for his guys
Nö, I mean, that’s reasonable and he really has to evaluate it just as…