Violent man, what to do?
My mother has been living with her boyfriend for years, and I've had to suffer under him myself. He's an alcoholic and beats my mother. (My mother also drinks.)
Ultimately, the police can't help, as my mother doesn't want to file criminal charges against him. He's already been locked out of his home for 10 days by the police.
The police have been to our house many times.
Unfortunately, we don't have the money to move out and a women's shelter is out of the question.
what can we do?
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That is your mother's decision alone, and if she doesn't want to change it, you have to accept it.
Of course you can move out yourself, and it seems you're already doing that.
That's not what it's about… I'd appreciate it if you read my question carefully. It was about what we can do. We have no money, or rather very little, and it would be difficult to find our own apartment. My mother wants to move out, but the question was clearly how and what we can do.
Your mother could report him, and the police have already told you that.
Without a report, the police cannot help in such a case, as it is purely a private matter between your mother and her partner.
In an acute emergency, I would actually go to a women's shelter first. There you'll be safe from attacks. From there, you can plan where you're going. Staying there seems masochistic to me.
You would be supported if you moved out.
But if your mother goes along with it, you can't change it.
then you can only look after yourself and contact the youth welfare office
Away from it without return.
Maybe you should contact the helpline
Contact the youth welfare office and get yourself out of there. Your mother can only help herself or just leave it alone.
Your mother could go into inpatient therapy to get her own alcohol consumption under control and then look for her own apartment.
She could already move into the sofa of friends or relatives and from there try to find her own place to live.
Or she could report her partner, have banned him from the house and stay in the shared apartment for the time being.
Or she can simply go to the nearest counseling center and discuss various options there.
The key point is: she has to want and be willing to start from scratch.
Your mother doesn't want any help. If you're still a minor, go to the youth welfare office and ask for custody.
If you are of legal age, move out.
I agree with the information in the question. Women's shelters are always an option, and those who don't use them have to suffer. It's terrible when underage children are involved.