Any suggestions for improving my story?
I've started writing this story and would like some feedback (I don't seem to have a critical audience on Wattpad.)
https://www.wattpad.com/story/319830568-team-k037
I hope the link works and that I make progress with my style etc.
And before people complain about advertising here, I'm not trying to lure people to my story. I just want to gain some initial experience, get feedback, and improve. So try to curb your anger at incompetent amateur authors.
I am grateful for any criticism, as long as it is politely worded.
(2 votes)
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Actually, I was like a fox leap. But to get feedback, I’ve actually read your story completely, which really didn’t seem easy to me.
It’s so bad: You’re really ruining your whole idea with the linguistic weaknesses (written spelling, grammar, drawing), because people who can read and write a lot of things themselves can usually also write correctly. And they stop reading when they stumble over mistakes as often as I usually do.
Even if you don’t want to hear this, I strongly recommend that you deal with the language truth. This “helps” your stories the most, because the approaches are better than spelling, grammar and drawing. Between “do not write perfect”, here and there is a mistake, and your lyrics are a mountain of mistakes.
If you want to, I’ll look at your story again and call you your sources of error, so that you can deal with it concretely and specifically.
Thank you for your honest feedback. I’d be very grateful if you took the time to give me some tips. It is often difficult for me to revise the texts, because I notice each time how bad they are. At the moment I’m working pretty hard on my vocabulary, but I’d be very happy with more tips.
Did you clear the story? The link leads to nothing… I can’t help you without text.
Thanks for the star!
In addition, I will have to fight again through the comma rules.
Sorry.
Listen to Fantasy-Jugebdroman 🙂 I find good even if I don’t like magic and magic…
That’s where I broke. I’m not doing that kind of story. If the first sentence has a stumbling stone in its formulation for me, then I can’t read further.
Thank you. Your answer is extremely helpful.
But I beg you, if you have no understanding for people who don’t write perfectly, don’t look at any questions that people want to improve.
I always understand that. Only if I stumble over the first sentence, then the one cannot write and it is not in my power to help him.
I looked at your question because you wanted to know what I think. You asked me to answer.
You can block me. We’d like that both of us.
I have a cellar.
I’m in him with three guests. They are not allowed to go, for leaving me would be their death.
Day by day, they are forced to listen to my stories, and if they do not praise me, they blossom the same fate as Cornelius.
Your bodies will be buried and forgotten by his.
I don’t know if the guests had names before their time, but I gave them some. Thanks to everything, food, security and love, and the only return I demand from them is praise and that they always listen to my stories.
Marron, Caramel and Fantasma are longing to offer salvation from their agony. Unlike anyone else, unfortunately they don’t have the opportunity to say “no thank you” or simply ignore the news of a girl without life and never have to deal with her and her like again.
R.M.B.
You can still write for yourself. But please don’t hurt anyone!
Don’t create it in Olympic games, there’s no reason to give up a hobby that gives you pleasure.
No, I wouldn’t say that! Because I don’t know your other talents. But I’m telling you this isn’t gonna be a thing with the letter. The sooner you see it, the easier it gets for you. What’s it good for you to listen to the people who put honey around you on Wattpad just to read their junk? It won’t hurt you. That’s why you should listen to me, forget about writing and do something else you’re talented for.
You know fox leap, you seem to be a great guy. And I guess you’re a lot older than me.
I just don’t understand if you think I’m a hopeless case anyway, why are you doing the trouble to answer, and why don’t you just say: SuinNius you don’t have a talent, give up whatever you want to achieve?
With such a comment, now lets you look like someone who judges about something without really having dealt with it.
You just remind me of people I don’t want to be reminded of.
Besides, even if everyone tells me I should do it, I can’t stop writing even if I wanted it.
No, if I wanted to hear how great I am, I could have asked my friends or family. I just wanted a feedback on whose back I can build something.
Would it be better if I told you how great you did that? The effect would have been that you would have continued.
But I wanted you to really understand what’s going on with your reader. That’s what I had to do. That’s the only way I could make you realize that it won’t work with the letter.
I honestly find these comments also stupid, but it is the only way to get feedback on Wattpad, although I decided to stop anyway.
It’s not about saying that someone is bad, but how to say it. It wouldn’t have been a problem if you had decided not to read more. But it’s a comment I can’t start with. If someone asks for criticism, in the same breath he also wants suggestions for improvement that you simply did not offer.
Do you have to listen to the whole song so you can judge whether someone can sing or not? Or do you know, after the first three sounds, that he just sings horrible?
Where I read this: Leave these comments under the chapters, especially the self-destructive.
I understand what you mean, and I appreciate your honesty. I know my style of writing is shit. But for my luck, I have a few more educational years before me.
But even if you’re right, it’s pretty hard to judge by people who might have good ideas, but with style and spelling, it’s hard to judge according to the first sentence.
I don’t want to say this is the case with me, but there are people out there who have talent and just need some time and good advice. And these could see something like “he can’t write” as an order to stop. Not every one of us will eventually become author or the like, yet it can be a very enriching hobby. As I said, I have nothing against unfortunate honesty, but to see that this person does not judge the first sentence of the prologue, but pains the part of the memory.
I still thank you for your feedback and will work on it, because something like spelling and style is actually learnable.