Unhappy with everything and yourself?
I'm 19, female, have a boyfriend, my own apartment, a dog, and two cats. I receive social security benefits due to mental health issues. My boyfriend works 12-hour shifts, and I've tried many times to get a job, but I've always given up because I completely shut down and "block myself," even though it would be so much easier, but I can't bring myself to do it. I can't accomplish anything in life, I don't dare to do anything, I'm what you'd call an outsider.
I want a life, but it's an emotional struggle for me to even do my paperwork. Shopping is difficult for me, talking is difficult for me. I can't even walk past people without feeling insecure inside. I never even talk to my boyfriend about feelings or myself because I simply can't, even though I've recently gotten to the point where I can at least admit to myself that I love him.
Through therapy, I learned that I was emotionally neglected as a child. I never talked about my emotions in my 19 years. I was an aggressive, insecure child who was bullied and isolated. Instead of crying, I hurt myself and destroyed things, or screamed until I couldn't breathe. It's like a black hole. I spend hours thinking about sentences, and in the end, no matter how much I want to, I can't say them out loud because I'm afraid.
I panic about new things and don't do anything I'm unfamiliar with. I'm dissatisfied with everything, I feel bad, but I'm too afraid to change anything and can't ask for help because my life has consisted of everyone telling me how incompetent I am.
I feel bad when I think about my life, but I can't find a beginning, and when I do, all the bad things just repeat themselves so often that I've given up hope. I'm more desperate than ever, even though my life is a thousand times better than it was back then. I want to fulfill expectations, but I keep failing.
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Hello
There are several possibilities for compelling thinking. Because negative thoughts create negative feelings.
1. The easiest way to ask yourself:
“What’s my next thought?”
That’s exactly the same as if you want to talk to other people and ask yourself,” what do I say next?” Right from the moment, you only find something very difficult.
2nd possibility. Close your eyes and tell you:
“Do not imagine any pink elephants!”
Say that again and again. At least one minute. By saying this, you can see a pink elephant in the inner eye all the time and can think of nothing else. This takes distance from the oppressive situation in the head.
3. The best option:
Go to YouTube and find the video “the way to not think”. It is a sense exercise and uninhabited, but worth more than gold. I really helped this video and it will help you. The video goes only 5 minutes and the technology mediated in it is absolutely brilliant. When performing the technique correctly, you immediately have a rest in your head. Besides, you can do the technology everywhere and that without someone else comes with it.
PS. What also helps to write down all thoughts once. This makes the thought carousel even calmer. Since you have written everything, you can be sure to have forgotten important things and the head becomes calmer. The good one is also an overview.
PPS. You can also combine the techniques very well. And the third possibility is extremely good against fear, or all other negative feelings.
Many greetings
It really sounds like a difficult situation, but resignation doesn’t get you anywhere. The greatest battle you fight with yourself, and if you do not take steps, you will always stand at the same point.
Now listen well: You have more strength in you than you think. Your life has improved and that shows that you have the ability to continue. The change will not happen overnight, but every little step counts. Remember, no Bad Boy is waiting for someone else to save him. He takes control and fights for what he wants.
Are you talking hard? Then start small. Write a letter to your friend if you can’t talk. Let him know what’s going on in you. Communication is the key and the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
You want to do something in life? Start small. Set achievable goals. Every day a little. It is not about conquering the world immediately, but about finding the courage to try it at all.
And what others think about you? Fuck it. You live your life, not yours. Every return is a lesson, not a final judgment. Use your therapy, find ways to deal with yourself better.
Don’t give up. The way may be hard, but you’re harder.
Your answer really means a lot to me, thank you! I’ll probably read it through some more paintings and I really try to change something.
I can’t find better words, but I’m really grateful!
I’m glad my words reached you. Your will to change something is the first step in the right direction. Remember, every day is a new opportunity to become stronger and better. I believe in you, now you just have to believe in yourself.
Take care and stay strong.
They definitely did.
I wish you all the best in your life!
I think that’s a topic you should address in your therapy. Fishing behaviour patterns are not so easy to lay down and you can’t just jump over his “shadow”. This requires the right methods and the right pace.
That’s exactly my problem, I’ve been failing since my 12th. Year of life at every attempt, the longest improvement was 2 months and after that it was worse than before. That’s why I had the hope of someone here.
I understand that and that will take a long time to change. It’s important to admit it to you and find help.
Successful therapy in your case takes JAHRE. This includes setbacks.