Tochter grenzt sich (bewusst?) aus. Wie ticken eure Kinder?
Hallo ihr Lieben,
meine Tochter (12) war immer ein fröhliches und aufgeschlossenen Kind. Sie hatte viele Freunde und war bei jeder Aktion dabei. Seitdem sie in die Pubertät gekommen ist, ist sie total negativ geworden. Sie zieht sich zurück, möchte am liebsten nur im Zimmer vergammeln und nimmt kaum noch an sozialen Dingen teil. Sie hat alle Hobbys abgebrochen und ist zu nichts neues zu bewegen. Sie macht sich total von ihrer „besten“ Freundin abhängig, hat keine eigene Meinung und ist null selbstbewusst. Alle anderen sind ihrer Meinung nach immer doof. Egal was ich versuche, sie hat immer etwas zu meckern.
wem geht es genauso und wird das wieder besser?
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Tell her NIE (with the exception of things that are forbidden or that are not going at all at the age) what to do. That’s what you think about it. But she just learns to decide herself and that’s important and what good. If you think the girlfriend has a bad influence, because you go to your daughter’s room at some point in the evening and ask if she has time to discuss something. If she says no, wait a day. That’s a test. Whether you ask her “real” and she is allowed to decide, or if you “re” over her head. Recree that she says no 1-3 days. If she says go and tell her what you think of her girlfriend. NEW. “I think she’s not a good deal for you because she keeps you away from other friends – that’s what looks like for me. And because you don’t do anything with others anymore. Do I have to worry? “
Talk to her like an adult. She’s in puberty. The time of education is over. Now it’s about listening and helping her if she’s looking for her own way. And yes, I know this is early at 12. But I’m not saying you have to let her go or drink alcohol. Be honest. You have to protect her. And there are things that can and do not want to allow. END. There are no excuses for you. Right and honest.
Look positive. That she starts with 12 means she trusts you. But you start annoying at the same time. Like all parents at the age. Because the kids start to decide their own lives. And as long as there are no security concerns in the way, you should let them do this. If she doesn’t learn to distinguish good from bad friends now, she can never. And prohibiting handling or such witchcraft only delay the problem and make sure they don’t tell you anything. And I know that because my parents constantly tried to control me. And I couldn’t break out of the system with 30. You don’t want to. You’re saying she’s grown up with 18 enough that you can trust her enough to let her go.
This is a relatively normal development section in the puperty.
Delimitation of parents and reinvention of their own personality.
It usually goes back. But it is quite a time for parents.
My main concern is that she prefers to retreat and hardly goes to other people. She has no own opinion, let alone perseverance or self-confidence. I’d rather she’s on her way every day instead of just going home.
So I’m afraid to miss the point which is normal at puberty and when it goes towards the self-broker.