Stimmt etwas nicht mit mir (Bitte Antworten &Text lesen)?
Hallo, ich bin 17 Jahre alt, bald 18, und vor drei Tagen ist mein Opa gestorben (natürlicher Tod, nichts Besonderes, er war halt schon älter). Als dann gestern ein paar der besten Freunde meiner Mutter sowie meine Tante und mein Onkel zu uns gekommen sind, um darüber zu sprechen, auch über die Beerdigung, haben alle geweint, entweder im Laufe des Gesprächs oder schon am Anfang. Ich nicht.
Ich mochte meinen Opa, und es ist schade, dass er gestorben ist, aber um ehrlich zu sein, bin ich nicht wirklich traurig. Meine Tante hat mich dann irgendwann vor allen angeschrien, was denn mit mir nicht stimmen würde und ob mich das alles gar nicht interessiert. Ich habe daraufhin gesagt, dass es das erste Mal ist, dass jemand in meinem Umfeld stirbt, und ich einfach noch nicht weiß, wie man dann reagiert , was auch stimmt. Sie ist dann rausgegangen, und meine Mutter ist ihr hinterhergelaufen.
Mir wurde irgendwann langweilig, also bin ich hoch in mein Zimmer gegangen. Heute Morgen, bevor ich in die Schule gegangen bin, hat meine Mutter mich darauf angesprochen und gemeint, dass sie nicht weiß, was nicht mit mir stimmt, da ich wohl Zitat: ,,schon immer so war’‘. Das wars dann aber auch.
Haben meine Mutter& Tante recht? Stimmt etwas nicht mit mir?
Fragt gerne, wenn ihr Fragen habt.
Liebe Grüße , Olivia
(3 votes)
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Sadness is extremely individual. And every grief is different.
That’s why you should let every person be as grieving as this person feels – and don’t judge anyone! Too bad that neither your aunt, nor your mother, have this on the screen, and rather give you accusations that you do not mourn as they imagine…
By the way, if you’re not crying yet, but then maybe in a few weeks or even months or so the moment comes where the impregnates want to get out is also completely okay and “normal”! Therefore, please don’t go crazy, don’t doubt yourself, your feelings are valid!
Hey Olivia, I think this is a relatively normal reaction. Everyone is going differently with mourning and it could be, for example, that you start mourning only in the next few days, because you may not have done so yet. On the other hand, you don’t have to cry and that doesn’t mean you didn’t cook your grandpa like that or something is wrong with you.
No, all right with you. Every person mourns differently and you don’t have to cry.
Even I do not cry when relatives die, but that does not mean that I do not mourn.
I am even older (65) but if I think that people cry about my death, it would be better for me to celebrate a festival, have fun and think about me and experiences with me.
There are people who would like to cry and can’t… with 17 you shouldn’t be emotionally dull.
Possible causes can be individual …
Do you have problems with depression or the like? Sometimes feelings go away or autism or the like?
No, I have neither autism nor depression. But thank you for your answer:)
Your aunt and mother have overreacted from their own grief, this is their problem, not yours. You’re 17, this is the first time you’re experiencing a loss, and you don’t need to have a standard reaction. Maybe the mourning comes later, maybe you feel different. Both are okay.
Don’t talk to you. Feelings show themselves in different ways, and not all have to be loud and dramatic. You stay yourself.
I experienced the separation of my parents as if I landed in a soap opera completely unnecessary and exaggerated. My brother couldn’t handle it while I was shaking my head. Everybody reacts differently.
Everyone mourns differently…
Vllt. then you have to cry at the funeral..
Okay, thanks for your answer:)
Mh, so as you describe it sounds as if you were either
a) Your feelings of mourning have broken away from you because you have learned that they overwhelm you – are you crying at other things?? If not, then this is a problem because you do not perceive your feelings, that can later lead to great problems for yourself.
b) have not had any emotional tie to your grandpa
c) have a personality disorder…Autists, for example, tend to be limited or capable of situating. Do you generally feel hard to perceive and feel feelings in you?
Apart from that, I find it awkward from your aunt to yell at you like that. You’re the Perosn you are. But I’d be worried about that. Do you have close friends and are satisfied with your social life?
I remember how my whole family wore, so our rabbits and guinea pigs died and I just thought ‘luckily, finally…’ I couldn’t understand how everyone could cry
You have to cry to not be considered sick?
No, see option b)! A general inability to feel grief and to show signs of problems.
Thank you for your answer. To answer your questions:
I’m just crying when I hurt. Otherwise I always try to find a solution for my problem, then I don’t have to cry.
To be honest, I don’t know if I don’t like it, I don’t have a comparison.
Has always had many friends, but only 1 best friend the others come and go.
You probably have little empathy and empathy.
You can practice that.
Is that bad? But if I do, I’m just pretending. Is it better to be honest?
We live in a world of deception, your mother/ante were their father (?) much closer than you. There it is perfectly normal that these then weep and if you didn’t have much to do with this, it just doesn’t.
Hey Olivia,
I think it’s a normal reaction. Sadness makes everyone different.
You’re all right!
I hope I could help you!
Quite normal reaction, don’t worry
To all my sincere condolences,
it can be that you can’t handle it right yet that it’s not there anymore and that you’re really sad when you realize it’s not there anymore.
Well, it’s kind of weird that you’re not sad when someone dies you like.
But your aunt didn’t have to scream.