Ständig alleine mit Kind, Mann auf Schicht, hilft mir nach der Arbeit auch 0 mit Haushalt oder Kind und Schwanger 37. Woche?

Hallo,

mir ist unerträglich heiß aufgrund des Wetters, mein Grosser (2) hängt an mir wie eine Klette die letzten Wochen (er geht noch nicht in die Kita). Normal stört mich das nicht, aber ich bin echt entnervt und entkräftet.
Die Wohnung muss immer top sein, die Wäsche immer gebügelt und gewaschen, das Kind muss gleichzeitig auch ganz tags beaufsichtigt werden, wacht in letzter Zeit vermehrt nachts auf (merkt wohl das in den nächsten Wochen was passiert) und lässt sich schwer beruhigen, kommt dann in das Ehebett und ich schlafe dann auf 40 cm liegefläche während mein Mann am ratzen ist und unser Sohn sich an mich ran drückt.
Das Kind kann REIN garnichts dafür, er kriegt es halt nur mit und ist dadurch eben sensibel.
Er hat auch im Moment diese Phase wo er absolut nicht hören will, Dinge durch die Gegend schmeißt, nur am wegrennen ist und ich nicht mehr hinterher komme.

Ich habe seit knapp 1 Woche Durchfall, dauerstuhlgang und Übelkeit (bin nicht krank), bin dauermüde, hab hitzewallungen, kann nachts nicht mehr schlafen da ich von vorwehen öfter mal wach werde, ständig pinkeln muss ich auch nachts mindestens 7 mal, hab auch Ödeme, aber Hilfe habe ich keine.

Alles muss ich alleine schmeißen, dann kommt heute mein Mann heim und fängt sofort an herum zu meckern, das noch nichts gekocht wär obwohl er mir sagte er hätte keinen Hunger und hätte sich Nudeln bestellt auf der Arbeit.
Habe genau das zu ihm gesagt.

Daraufhin meinte er wofür er denn eine Frau daheim hat, wenn ich ja nicht kochen tu die letzten Tage.

Und das ich ja die Frau wäre. Ich habe ihm gesagt das er doch bitte selbst kochen soll wenn er doch solchen Hunger hat.
Ich koche sonst immer aber die letzten Tage habe ich es durch das Wetter und durch starke Erschöpfung eben nicht geschafft mich stundenlang vor den Herd zu stellen nur damit mein Mann wiedermal alles an einem Abend futtert… (ich koche immer mindestens 1 kg Fleisch aber er isst ziemlich viel!!)

Alles muss ich ihm sagen, im Haushalt sagt er würde er nie und nimmer was machen da er es hasst zu putzen und das ich ja nur zu faul wäre und ständig am schlafen die letzten Tage (kein Wunder 3 Wochen vorm ET und wenn man alles trotzdem alleine machen muss!)

Ich bin total aggressiv und weis nicht wie ich darauf reagieren soll weil er meint das ich nur so tun würde und ich ja auch putzen kann! (Ja aber das dauert mittlerweile sehr lange weil ich zwischendrin Pause machen muss!)

lg

(2 votes)
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Belliwell
1 year ago

You’d have to get out of there for some time. Leave him alone. He’s an adult man. Maybe he’ll see what he’s got on you.

I always focus on the choice of partners and family planning is the A and O in life. Unfortunately, this makes the least and wonder when they come into such situations.

Such a guy would be enough for me to pack the bags. I had a similar one too. Only that the Fast mother-in-law still thoroughly mixed. We lived together for three months, after which the oven was out.

Elli113
1 year ago

Well, as I see, the facts are on the table:

Your husband doesn’t do anything in the household and he won’t do it in the future.

So just stay the question of how you want to deal with it. There are several possibilities.

On the one hand, you could ask your health insurance company whether you are supported by a household aid now or after the birth. This at least solves your current problem.

For the further future, I think you have the following options:

  1. Find out that you have to carry everything behind your husband
  2. Go to work again and hire a cleaning lady.
  3. Stop it.

Which option is the right one for you, you need to know yourself.

Anika2222
1 year ago

You don’t seem to understand what people want to say here. Try to realize what happens in your life. This man’s gonna break you mentally and he’s gonna make your kids mentally ill. Disconnect with this man. Get help with pro Familia, the social psychiatric service or Caritas. You obviously don’t get rid of this guy without help. Your children don’t need a bad father. Children get treated like the father. Your son hasn’t felt that right now.

Aiuola
1 year ago
Reply to  Anika2222

That’s what you’ve done. Very clear yet friendly. It’s been a long time, but still a great answer!

Bonsai82
1 year ago

In your place, maybe I would go to the parents for a time – because I live for a while.
In the long run, you’re going to be mentally broken because the Lord wants everything in front of the nose.
A marriage is giving and taking. But he only takes!
We are no longer living in the 1950s, where everything has remained on the woman.
You should wear your wife on your hands if you really love her!

Kugelflitz
1 year ago

Show him where the mason left the hole in the wall or use it himself.

Kugelflitz
1 year ago

Don’t threaten to go through. Everyone can give up on such a father.

Btw, why are you constantly making new accounts? That’s your fourth? Fifth?

Kugelflitz
1 year ago

And I don’t understand why you couldn’t just read my comment if he bothers you. Mainly given the must. 🙃

LalliKnispel
1 year ago

No, I don’t know. But I don’t see a problem for you now. You can block the account, if you’re so upset. Life and life

Kugelflitz
1 year ago

Do you know their oily accounts and their recurring questions, their whining, how fucking man and family are? No matter what you’re saying, nothing is put into practice, it keeps whining with new accounts.

LalliKnispel
1 year ago

If you ask for constructive help, you should leave it. What you do is not fair and doesn’t help her. Change your choice of words or just leave them alone.

Kugelflitz
1 year ago

and can always only answer doofe.

Don’t blame me, but it’s not up to the ever-changing accounts, it’s about your incredible consulting resistance.

You always ask the same questions and whistle about how shit your guy is, but still stay with him and get a second child. Of course, many only react with misunderstanding.

Kugelflitz
1 year ago

Sometimes I think a man who had been at least 8 to 10 years older than me (I am 21 and my husband 23) would have done much better and would have been with me on a wavelength.

I’m sure you don’t let yourself manipulate now and you don’t have any powers of enforcement.

You should have waited with children, you don’t fit in the front and back. He’s a perfect post and you have no self-confidence.

We’ve been guessing here for years (?) to separate you and you’re still sticking to him. It can’t be that bad.

Wiesel
1 year ago

if I don’t cook

Then tell him that the big chefs are mostly MEN.

By what. You can save your stress. 1 kg meat consumption? He’s not getting old with that!

LouPing
1 year ago
Reply to  Wiesel

He’s not getting old with that!

Quark, that’s what they say about smokers. Helmut Schmidt became almost 100.

Meat eaters are not automatically ill, their risk for some diseases is only slightly increased, at recover. Disposition can get a vegan much faster.

Elli113
1 year ago
Reply to  LouPing

that is always claimed by smokers

A close acquaintance died of lung cancer with 54 – not every smoker is Helmut Schmidt.

Elli113
1 year ago

Well.

Meat eater is not the same as meat eater. There are those like me who eat a meat-based main dish one or two times a week and like the man of the questioner.

Even if we assume that this is slightly exaggerated with the 1kg per day, we are still very clearly above the recommendation of the DGE, which only recommends a maximum of 600g per week.

The fact is that a high consumption of meat entails various risks. In numerous studies it has been found that (red) meat has negative effects on our health and promotes diseases and heart attack riskhttps://www.aerzteblatt.de/messages/119045/Studie-Mit-dem-Verzehr-von-Red-Fleisch-steigt-das-Herzinfarktris).

Sure, it doesn’t have to happen, it doesn’t kill every smoker of lung cancer or COPD. But the probability is much higher.

LouPing
1 year ago

And for a long time not every meat eater “will not be old”. Where smoking is to be assessed as much higher risk factor than eating meat.

Orothred23
1 year ago

Shoot your splendour copy of “man” in the wind, but quickly. It wouldn’t change, you won’t get less help….

w18j66399
1 year ago

Are you helping your husband at his work? Why do you expect him to make the household when you’re home?

LouPing
1 year ago

You should discuss the problems with your husband.

Orothred23
1 year ago

Centuries of the Patriarchate…..leider….but it slowly goes up:-)

LouPing
1 year ago

You can’t change your husband – just convince. No one can help you.

LouPing
1 year ago

What is this for a brainless answer

What do you expect from the people here? Pity?

You are in a relationship with your husband, so it is EURE thing to solve the problems within EURER marriage. Become grown and talk to each other…you have responsibility for !!2!! Kids.

Orothred23
1 year ago

I guess there’s little point in the description here….