Should I structure this differently?
Good morning,
I'm writing a story and I usually make a paragraph whenever someone speaks.
Example:
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
"There you are at last!"
"Hello to you too, Luna."
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
———————————————————————————————————————————————-
But that looks weird because the direct speech is so short. So I can either do this:
- Write "They greeted each other" (which doesn't convey Luna's slightly toxic character)
- Change the structure (please suggest)
- Leave it like this (I know it's done this way in many books, but I don't like it)
(1 votes)
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This is done in many books because it’s so standard. To say that you don’t want to do this because you don’t like it, it’s like you say “Yes, I know you write the word ‘spring’ with F and individual It, but I don’t like it. I’m writing this now Phehdär.”
From time to time, it’ll be fine.
Hm. I don’t understand the problem. I would replace the empty lines with simple line breaks because the text looks so completely torn, but I think that’s just about GF and is not consciously chosen.
Otherwise, you could simply describe the way Luna reacts to welcome (more detailed than in your example) without presenting it as a dialogue. Then their toxic character comes over just as well if not even better. At least I don’t know what about “There you are at last!” to be toxic, but maybe I miss the context.
Otherwise, I would leave it that way. This structure, which is used in almost all books, has the meaning of making the reader as pleasant as possible. This is not about optics. Block texts as an example are not easy to read.
Love