selbstzerstörerischEs verhalten in einer Beziehung, was tun?
Hey, Ich bin frisch in einer Beziehung und alles ist echt toll, jedoch hat mein Freund in der Zeit bevor wir uns kannten ziemlich viele Traumatische Erlebnisse gemacht woraus verschiedene mentale Probleme entstanden sind(er ist schon in therapie).
Auf jeden Fall hat er mir erzählt dass er auch selbstzerstörerischs Verhalten hat – sowas wie sich distanzieren und kalt sein zur seiner Partnerin aus angst dass sie ihn verlassen könnte ect. so ein wenig wie selbst manipulieren. Vorallem dieses distanzieren macht er laut eigener Aussage. Wie soll ich damit denn umgehen falls das mal passiert? Einfach weiter versuchen den Kontakt zu halten, ihn darauf hinweisen, es einfach hinnehmen bis es wieder vorbei geht?? Gibt es da eine richtige Art zu handeln? Hat jemand damit schon Erfahrung gemacht?
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Take a lot of stress in the relationship. His trauma was born in his childhood. If this remains unworked, one unconsciously stages the childhood drama again and again in a relationship with an adult. To cure childhood trauma it usually takes several years. If you only do trauma therapy without engaging in private life for healing, it takes the longest. If you both try to deal with your dreams, it’ll be faster. Be aware of what will happen to you. The healing process is not a beautiful matter.
For more information, I recommend the youtube channel “Mediality & trauma healing“ by Gopal Norbert Klein. Other keywords are “Autonomy type” and “Truthful sharing”. Withdrawing (distanceing) is the typical reaction pattern of the type of autonomy, and “constant sharing” is the self-help method published by Gopal, for which there are several hundred local groups throughout Germany and also daily zoom-meetings.
I strongly assume that your friend is more a toxic narcissist with Stigma. Such cases are known to me. You don’t have to worry about him. He must come clear with his life. If I were you, I would break the contact rigorously. So make blue. Don’t call, don’t visit or go. Just bend completely. Do Nix. It seems to work with me. And even manipulating (which is only empty fairs) is called manipulative extortion. That’s not punishable. But can lead to criminal acts. And this distance ( proximity and distance) is called emotional dependence. At least that was what happened to me. Social retreat is too good.
This self-destructive behavior has his therapists told him, which results inter alia because of his bpd, a toxic Narcissist is not