Schwanger, er will, das ich abtreibe?
Hallo zusammen,
vor wenigen Tagen haben wir erfahren, dass ich schwanger bin, ich bin in der 7 Woche.
Das Kind ist ungeplant, dennoch habe ich mich sofort gefreut, für mich stand fest, dass ich es behalte, vor Freude kaufte ich schon Baby Bekleidung. .
Mein Partner ist alles andere als begeistert, seitdem haben wir wohl die größte Krise. Er will das Kind nicht, für ihn ist es der falsche Zeitpunkt, da er noch im Studium steckt. Er will Kinder mit mir, aber erst in 2 Jahren. Das war auch unser Plan, wir wollten beide noch keine Kinder, nun ist es aber passiert.
Wir reden kaum noch miteinander, mein Partner ist sehr kalt und abweisend geworden, behandelt mich schrecklich, ich erkenne ihn nicht mehr wieder, ich bin nur noch verletzt und traurig.
Er sagt, wenn ich das Kind behalte, wird er zwar bei mir bleiben, aber er würde nie wieder der Alte sein, er würde mich nie wieder glücklich machen, das Kind ebenfalls nicht. Für ihn sei es eine Katastrophe.
Na super, was ist das denn für eine Aussage?!
Er will die Abtreibung, ich sagte ihm mehrmals, dass ich es behalte, nun ist er völlig verändert, nicht für mich da, er interessiert sich nicht für mein Befinden, ich bekomme nurnoch böse und abwertende Blicke zugeworfen, bekomme kaum Aufmerksamkeit.
Er ist viel am weinen, sagt mir, er wüsste nicht mehr weiter. Und ich? Ich ebenfalls nicht, aber es geht ihm gefühlt nur um sich selbst.
Ich weiß nicht, was ich tun soll. Würde ich es abtreiben, würde ich wahrscheinlich daran kaputt gehen. Treibe ich es nicht ab, dann habe ich jemanden an meiner Seite, der null Interesse hat, wenn überhaupt, vielleicht wäre er sogar ganz weg, genau das wollte ich nie, ich wollte immer eine Familie, nicht alleinerziehend sein.
Wir hatten immer eine sehr harmonische Beziehung, alles lief perfekt, wir hatten viele Pläne, ich war so glücklich mit ihm, nun ist von heute auf morgen alles anders, gerade das macht mich gerade so fertig, sein Verhalten mir gegenüber, was ich niemals erwartet hätte, ich gar nicht von ihm kenne.
Ich will ihn nicht verlieren, gleichzeitig auch das Kind nicht. Ich frage mich, was das richtige ist. Ich kann mir ein Leben ohne ihn nicht vorstellen, wir hatten unsere Zukunft geplant, andererseits frage ich mich nun, will ich jemanden, der mich so hängen lässt?
Ich brauche eure Meinung 🙁
So if someone’s ready to have a child in two years, it shouldn’t completely blow him that it’s right there. Sounds like he wasn’t quite honest with me.
In general, it is expected that a child can arise if you have regular sex, because no prevention method is 100% safe. So if you cannot agree a child with the current situation of life, sexual intercourse is a no-go – so hard and strange that may sound for one or the other.
You have a responsibility for what you do. And if you’re responsible for putting a child in the world, it might be easy for you to poke on an abortion, but if the woman doesn’t want to do that, you have to accept it and not take off such a s…
I can only encourage you to stay with your decision. Too bad if the restraining of the partner is not there, but it will find a way if it must be alone or with another person on your side who does not try to pull you down and push you in a direction that you absolutely do not want.
If you are looking forward to your child, but you will not be happy any more because of his behaviour. Then, in case of doubt, will be happy with your child without him. You’re young, there’s probably someone who loves you and your child. Good luck!
I’m sorry, I didn’t read the question completely.
But try to talk to him, it’s logical he’s getting excited, but this is his good right. Whether you’re driving or not, it’s up to you. If you want the child, you have to convince your partner that he will allow it. What’s important is that you’re looking for the conversation first, if he refuses this, it’s his thing, and I’d stop.
I think you should talk about it in a few days.
I find it awkward that a world collapses for him just because the child is two years earlier than planned. Something’s behind it. Sure, that’s a shock first, but I find a very strange reaction of this kind when children are planned for you.
Don’t let him talk you over to an abortion. Keep the child if you want it. Nothing guarantees you that you can become so uncomplicatedly pregnant in two years, and at the latest you would regret it. Don’t let him push you or blackmail you. Because that’s exactly what he is doing – extortion. You should be very aware of that.
The true character often appears only in Kriesen. You’re wearing the child in your stomach. You alone can only decide whether to come to you or not. And you can expect your partner to fully support you. In any of your choices.Also a shame that he can’t be happy at all. Planning is one. Life often has its own plans. This is the challenge in the partnership. If a partner is locked, maybe he’s not the right one.
Keep the child. No matter how he thinks. He could change or you might not be with him forever.
Hi. So first congratulations:) and of course I am very sorry about your partner . My opinion is that it is right to keep the child. Your friend is in shock because a child is a big challenge and he is just afraid. I would talk to him in your place and maybe go to a psychologist or consultant. Because my mother had kept me at that time and my producer left her, but no matter what do not rub off. It’s a little wonder what awaits you to give you all his love.
You definitely don’t want someone like that.What’s that for a stupid statement from him? Let him talk to Tacheles and end the relationship. Fact is, you want the child. He’s trying to manipulate you so you’re running. You’d regret it forever.
You never wanted to be alone, but forever unhappy with someone who abuses you emotionally? He’s just showing you his true face, believe him.
Maybe he’ll make a 180 degree turn after birth, I wouldn’t wait for it. Do you have family that can support you?
Cut yourself off that bastard.
Start a new life with your baby, the guy isn’t worth shedding tears.
If he doesn’t want the child, he wouldn’t have had sex.
And just right now, what if you take off the child, get pregnant in two years, and he treats you as well?
He’s trying to force you to take the kid off with his behavior.
Do you really want to spend your life with someone who wants to get his own child out of ice cold?
Hello Isah, then congratulations for your pregnancy. 🌼 You write that it was unplanned, but also that you were happy right away. You want to keep it, and you’ve already gone to buy baby stuff. 😉 That sounds good and you can get your little one without a bad conscience!
Now that with your partner, that is a separate “construction site”. He’s in his studies, and he thought it was different. He can’t believe what’s supposed to be. And he doesn’t have the strongly anchored feeling in himself like you as a woman. We are always much closer to the possibility: I can get pregnant, there could be a child. He’s far away. I think he’s just overwhelmed now. But, he can develop. He will develop! Even if you have a crisis together now and he might blame you, you may know it’s okay if you get your child.
“He says if I keep the child, he will stay with me, but he would never be the old man again, he would never be happy again.”
Yeah, he thinks it’s gonna be all the same as before when you’re going to rub it off under this coercion? I can’t imagine. You can’t turn the clock back. And you wouldn’t forget it….
Look, if you run off, you did something for him, what you regret.
Your chances are more open and better when you listen to your heart and get your child. Maybe you can tell him that you like him and the child too.
At the moment he may only see a problem, but a catastrophe is not your baby! And it won’t stay that way…. Trust him that he matures on it, and if he loves you, he’ll calm down and turn to you after some time!
Does anyone else know about pregnancy, your family? And were you with a female doctor? Be patient now!
All love and much confidence to you!