PTSD: Fear of going into town…now have to?
Hi,
I have PTSD after being raped in a city center…
Now I dissociate, have flashbacks, avoid going out (I only go to school) and I don't stay outside of my village.
So, tomorrow I'm going to Berlin for a class trip. We're going to visit the Bundestag, talk to a member of parliament, and go to the paddock. That'll still be possible with a lot of tension, panic, and skill. Afterwards, we'll spend two hours in the city. Visit the Brandenburg Gate, maybe Alexanderplatz, or just wander around in small groups. -> And that's exactly THE PROBLEM! I have panic attacks just thinking about it!!! I have to go too; I can't avoid it. I haven't been to the city (especially not such a big one) in six months.
My therapist told me to definitely use my noise-cancelling headphones, listen to music, and look at the floor so I don't see people (I also have social phobia).
She also said that I should look at it positively, that once I've achieved that, maybe I won't have any more problems with going out into the city (if not, we'll go into town together, do the Expo, and so on…).
Now to the exact question:
What can or should I do to get through this?
How should I prepare myself mentally for this?
What should I take with me just in case? (I take my emergency bag with me. It contains all sorts of things: stress balls, hedgehog balls, rubber bands, chili drops, chili peppers, finagon plasters, therapy putty, positive pictures, a photo of my "safe place", scents to smell, and so on.) I also have my cell phone, music, headphones, noise-cancelling headphones with me… what else do I need to manage this?
My tension is already extremely high..
Thanks in advance.
LG
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If your friends were willing to accompany you on the city tour, it would certainly be easier for you. Direct physical contact (eg, holding hands or walking arm in arm) would be best.
Such fears are often treated with constructive exposure therapy. You could consider this school trip as such therapy. To prevent your reactions from overreacting, you might also want to consider giving you a psychotropic medication. This is also often done as part of such exposure therapy.
Addendum: Logic is powerless against fear.
You have several options. Either you actively face your unjustified fear and try to live normally. You'll vegetate alone, lonely, and silently forever, without living a life. Or you can find a way to strike a balance between the two, avoiding unnecessary situations that make you feel uncomfortable, while mustering enough courage for the important moments (interviews, job interviews, exams).
How do you do it? I have no idea. I can't understand how you feel. No one should be afraid of others in principle. For 99.99% of people out there, you're not important enough to be noticed.
Can I face my fear? It seems so impossible.
You're out with your class; they're all familiar people who won't let you out of their sight. The trip will definitely be followed by work, and you should focus on that. Gather ideas for the task, take notes or record voice recordings on the topic, engage with the trip situation, and stay close to your best friend.
It's more like a graduation trip, with a political background…yes, that's true, I'm not alone, but unfortunately that doesn't take away my fear…
Then stay at home in your quiet little room instead of facing your fear.
yes,…I want to…how?
Your parents are right. You should face it, as described.
That's not possible, I HAVE to go. My parents won't let me stay home, and it's a mandatory event…
You've already talked to a therapist about it, so what advice can laypeople give you now? Ultimately, what people are telling you here is counterproductive.
Well, my therapist doesn't mind if I ask around for tips. She said I should prepare myself… I can prepare myself by asking the leaders whether they have any ideas about what I could do… I'll talk to my therapist about it again this afternoon anyway… so it's all good.
OK