Problems with testicles and PTSD?

Hello, I have been suffering from PTSD for 8 years (not confirmed). I have been having flashbacks for years because I was sexually abused as a child.

Since then I've always had problems with myself.

What I hate most is my testicles, constant heavy feeling, constant feeling of falling asleep in the intimate area, and my testicles don't look good at all (I think I'm not a doctor).

One hangs further down (which is actually normal) but it also sticks out further and feels different. I've also recently developed a strange kind of cartilage on the underside of my testicle and it's in a very strange position.

Of course some will now say:

Go to the doctor

Get help

Etc.

I have been to urologists several times but every time I had my testicles checked I always had flashbacks or even refused, and usually even cried

Three years ago he even said that everything was fine, but a lot has changed. I've gotten kicked in the balls more often, etc.

I don't know what to do anymore. It would be so nice if they looked normal or were even gone, but I can't. As soon as someone touches me there, I panic and cry.

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal and would never harm myself (just in case anyone is worried).

Write what you would do in my place