My mother's fiancé often gets on my nerves. He constantly wants to hug me and says he loves me like a son. He's also extremely sensitive. He worries about every little thing. I say something a little negative once, and he immediately thinks I hate him.
What can I do to make him stop doing this?
(2 votes)
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here only helps talk – and all of this from I perspective and without YOU (= accusations).
e.g. you tell him that you like him very much – but you generally don’t like so much body contact and therefore you feel the many hugs rather unpleasant.
you will have to accept that. This is a character of him. You won’t be able to change that (and neither should you, this will be a character trait your mother appreciates on him)
for you it’s a Sch** – but it’s not for him. If you expect him to understand you (that you may not like hugs) – then he can also expect you to understand him (that he is about a lot of thought what is banal for you – but it is not bananl for him)
Maybe it’s your word choice too? If you’re sensitive, you like to write things because you don’t want to hurt. Someone who is less sensitive might say directly what he thinks – and that can hurt a sensitive person.
e.g. again the theme hugs.
If you just say that you don’t want to get so much body contact in general, that’s a sensitive person. Because you’re talking to what makes him. That he reacts sensitively to the feelings of people.
You could also say, “Don’t touch me. I don’t like it” – but content by the “I don’t like it” does the whole aggressive and aggressiveness is often associated with hatred. The sound trap would certainly be sharper. a sensitive person can easily reinterpret here that you hate him.
Just tell him you don’t want it.
There are many people who, instead of handcuffs, are equally embraced and may still move.
I can’t suffer this, just like the eternal shoulder knock.
Tell him you don’t want to be embraced, I hate that too. But otherwise this is good, better than vice versa. But it’s a bit annoying, my father’s girlfriend is. Trz better than my mum, it can only scream around and start stress.
Talk to him. It doesn’t matter if his feelings are hurt. He’s grown up and has to deal with it. He should be the jealous part. You don’t want the hugs done. You’ll be allowed to say that. Speaking: “You know how often teenagers hurt their parents daily with their moods. We just have to be able to do that to parents. Even if we don’t have to let everything please 😉.
Ne wants to make me good with Him and want to risk nix
“Just put” must not mean that everything can be enjoyed.
That’s right. You’re right. But I don’t know how to tell him now. I mean, he’s been hugging me for a few weeks and I hate it. Must see if my mother helps me
Protecting yourself is important in the case per as the consideration of his feelings. Unbounded touches, even hugs, are disrespectful and obscure. Grade, if man is so “sensitive” he should understand. If he then reacts passively aggressively by declaring your demarcation as “hats”, it would be very manipulative to me. On the other hand, you may be polite, but quite clearly delimited.
I see. It is really unpleasant to be touched by other people. Only with my mother, my grandma and my grandpa I have no problem.
I’ll tell my mother that I don’t have a bell on it. Besides, I hate it when the guy gets jealous when I embrace my mother.
Just say it the same as you have now explained to me: that you generally do not like touches and hugs, except for those who are familiar with you from small to small. You can also add inconspicuously that he should leave you some more time – about 10-12 years…
And of course you can talk to your mother about it. But please also in a reasonable way – otherwise you will bring your mother up against you.
that is the wrong way and the wrong choice of words
I’d feel lost if I had a third experience. Why don’t you talk to him nicely, and the wrong word choice is because “I don’t have a bock on it” sounds very degrading. This can be more beautifully formulated so it is less hurting – and the content remains the same.
is he really jealous? What are you doing and are you doing?
That would be really weird…
Talk to your mother. She’s supposed to slow him down.
Good idea, actually. I’ll try
Right, you’re out.
Right, really good idea. I have to say honestly that I really didn’t think of it. Thank you