Does my mother need to support me more?
I just turned 19 and graduated from high school. I'm currently bridging the gap until my three-month unpaid internship with a part-time job at a bakery. I need the money – I'm saving some to keep me afloat during my internship, and I'm currently spending or saving almost exclusively on travel, because that's a high priority for me now that I've finished high school.
Now to my problem: My mother, with whom I currently live part-time, is now demanding money from me. In return for being allowed to live here. I have to say that my job is my only source of income. My parents are separated, and my mother collects my father's maintenance payments and child benefit. I find it a bit frightening that they're demanding additional money from me, especially since, aside from traveling, I hardly allow myself any luxuries. I pay for most of my own food, and I have to pay for my own clothes, too. On top of that, I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's, and I'm not even home when I'm there.
It could be that I'm just overly privileged in my view, I don't know, but almost everyone around me is financially supported by their parents, and most of them also finance their studies/volunteering/car, etc. Is that the norm? Yes, or is it? It really worries me that I not only receive absolutely no support, but also have to pay extra.
Am I not perhaps entitled to something in my situation?
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No, it’s not.
You then seem to get out of an environment of the upper middle layer or even higher.
With me in the old school circle, those who were financially supported by the parents were clearly in the minority and it was perfectly normal when you arbeteitet after school and live at home. Whether in training or in a side job when you take a year off.
Traveling, on the other hand, is pure luxury, so you need to reduce your budget in the future. And yes, I can understand you, I also like to travel.
Depending on how much your father deserves, so how much maintenance he has to pay, maintenance + child money is enough. also just don’t pay off to pay the extra costs you make. It is only understandable that you will be involved in the costs instead of spending it for personal luxury like travel. The fixed costs, e.g. for rent, are still incurred, even if you are not home. Especially since it’s not a 1zu1 present value, you can count on what you’ve stolen your mother over your entire past life and how little she got back financially. As to expect from a full-year-old child when it earns money and which has to take part in the costs, I find more normal than strange.
Your mother is obligated to support you as long as you are “needed”. If you earn money, your mother may expect a share from your side.
Maybe you could put together and give each other the revenues and expenses. I think saving on the internship is very reasonable – and your mother should also be interested in it, after all, she is also committed to maintenance in your internship.
P.S. Travel is luxury.
The maintenance was recalculated from full year?
The maintenance your father pays you goes to DEIN account. The share that your mother has to contribute (if it is powerful) can also offer you in the form of food and logistics. Just like the child’s money, which is expected to be your income. This is an internal matter between you.
Most of the time you’re with your friend is your personal decision. But has nothing to do with your mother still being able to expect a share for living with her.
With full-year-oldness, of course, you are free to take off your home. Then she is no longer obliged to you because she offers you food and logistics at home. If you don’t take it, that’s your choice.
What others get or not is irrelevant! It’s about you and your mother, but also your father.
You should just let the youth office calculate how high your needs are and how the liability is per parent. And inform your father that the maintenance will go directly to your account from SOFORT.
What is planned after the internship? Education / studies?
In any case, BAföG would be required to apply for studies. You should do that in time. In the case of vocational training, your training allowance would be charged up to 100 euros, just like the full child allowance. If you can cover your own needs, the parents are out!
Once you have your own home address, you can submit a branch application. This would be granted if the parents did not pay any maintenance in at least the amount of the child’s allowance. If your father pays more than 250 euros to you (must), he can apply for the child’s money, he should pay more than the mother.
As soon as the liability shares are calculated per parent, you should put together with your mother and calculate what costs are incurred and what amount they have imagined so that you should contribute.
I think it’s bad that she’s thinking about money at a fixed-term part-time job, especially as she gets child money and maintenance.
In return, she is not obliged to give you extra money so you can save for car and travel.
Your mother should actually be proud that you save for the internship, instead of asking for pocket money and the like again. But saving for luxury like travel does not have to allow you God.
Strictly speaking, she could say, of course, if you do three months of unpaid internship instead of earning money, that’s your problem, you’re workable and can now please work full-time and spend money at home.
By the way, the same could also demand your father and then set the maintenance payments. At the moment you plan your near future (unpaid wish internship, travel…) at its expense. If he can do this and also financially, I’ll give it to you, of course, but his duty is not.
Your Mutti clearly doesn’t have to support you for merit money, you pay nix, and you are 19 years,Mama pays everything for the apartment.Miete electricity eat your laundry wash.DU can now support your mom.
That’s why she gets the maintenance and the child’s money. I finance my life, including food, etc., really largely and do not understand what is so expensive to me that it needs so much money from me.
You don’t have to give that much, but you can.
The child’s entitlement to maintenance shall not be waived by the age of full or by the school. The mother should be fully dependent here. The mother also refers to the child’s allowance and the corresponding proportion of the child’s pension.
I don’t really see that, because something like a merit is basically not at all.