Misunderstanding with in-laws?
At first, I had an absolutely dream relationship with my family-in-law. We were instantly one and the same. We did a lot together and always had something to talk about.
Last year in September I became pregnant intentionally and our wedding was in January.
The family helped us so much and everything was great! At some point the help got a bit out of hand because the idea was to surprise me. That's really sweet – and yet it was my husband and my wedding. My husband was kept in the loop right up until the end, and unfortunately I was not allowed to attend because I was supposed to be a surprise. I emphasized several times that I thought that was really sweet, but that I still wanted to be in the loop because it was my wedding too. Unfortunately, this was ignored. At least the situation hasn't changed.
Two days before the wedding, it happened. I had described several times how my husband and I envisioned the decorations for our wedding – and then, unfortunately, I had to see how everything was done differently. I then said: Guys, I've said it so many times that we didn't want it that way.
And yes, I was heavily pregnant, hormones, wedding stress – just everything and also just a little angry
That's why I didn't say it with a smile, but seriously – but nothing more, I didn't shout or anything.
Yeah, and that's it. Since then, the relationship has been sporadic and absolutely superficial.
My husband just takes it for granted and accepts it. He doesn't really understand my suffering. At least, that's what he told me.
I've already brought it up, but unfortunately, it's been no use. They just brush it off and say it's just stress, but that everything else is fine. That just doesn't make sense to me, since everything was great before the wedding. I'm at a loss.
What should I do?
(2 votes)
Loading...
It wasn’t all good before.
They have guarded you, were overcrowded (emotional in which they only did what they wanted), your anger was not taken seriously and found you as long as you did everything.
At the moment when you didn’t dance after her whistle and saw her “the true face”, they didn’t like you anymore.
The mistake was with all of you that you didn’t ask earlier to commit, to your husband, that He also mistreated your wishes and your father-in-law, that they didn’t respect them and did what they wanted. It’s like their day and not yours.
As long as you don’t have everything to do and leave as they want, it won’t be better.
Try to be and stand more to your opinion and let the action with the wedding grow grass over the thing.
Yes I am, unfortunately, in need of harmony and hate quarrels. because I often find them so unnecessary. But I’m starting to stand more and more to my mind and say to them: no more honey to smear the mouth.
I am still respectful and correct that I find important. But not anymore.
Yes, the relationship is getting worse and worse I feel. Unfortunately.
Unfortunately, some people can’t handle it if they don’t think so.
As long as you always remain fair, even a raster would have been understandable in such an important day, you shouldn’t blame yourself. Yes, unfortunately, said as done, but you said what you want, that was not to do their decision and thus clearly their fault.
It is important to be in the clean with your partner so that something does not happen again and he respects your wishes. Also odr just walked over his family.
At the latest, if your child is older (as 2 or 3 years), it will often be unconsistencies or “good advice on what you are doing everything wrong” to education or other points, since it is important with your husband to clearly follow a line, even before his family. And there is not much to discuss. If it doesn’t mean listening, it can really be a good thing, but your child also knows your word counts to stand behind your decisions.
Thank you for your words. Each one is worth gold and help me enormously
I also asked my current man to stand behind me. This is now going to be better slowly but surely. He just doesn’t want stress or stress. He’s indifferent. Nevertheless, I don’t care, and as his wife I expect to support that he understands now – thank God!
Yes I stop letting MUST “fall” from them, since I am now my mother with obligations and I want to be strong for my child and you tell my child: Mom and Dad’s word is power! 🙈
I am really curious how the whole thing will develop. But again, I wouldn’t do this all.
Let grass grow over it. Your mother-in-law family needs to learn that satisfaction is only given when both sides are happy.
Thanks 🙂 builds me very much on being understood.
sometimes it is inevitable to make good miene a bad game. This does not mean that only grass is allowed to grow over the cause. The communication that could eventually start on the topic is important! This communication should be worthwhile and should not include any accusations.
In the sense, that was meant to be sweet, well implemented, but otherwise it would have been better.
That’s right! Thank you. They have strengthened me!
With all the need for harmony, it will be inevitable that you can penetrate or set limits. (He who loves you will accept and respect your limits and taste.)
If you don’t set limits… you will gradually be confiscated and your dissatisfaction rises and rises until you burst! That’s why it’s important to use the quiet conversations for a border education before the emotional outbreak.
Oh, wow! These are strong words. I’m curious to see if I get harmonie bundles that so. 🙈
If this is contradicted, I would reply:
Well, then I know that I have to ask your opinion whether I like something MUSS. A different opinion from your attitude is probably wrong, and just because it does not agree with your opinion.
It is to distinguish between role expectancy and the role that matches your I. Adaptation is often advisable, but only if you don’t have to bend.
Very great and true words! I really hope that you will eventually manage to talk with full respect at the table what happened at that time – to realize that everything was half as wild.
You can’t do anything.
The family had very precise ideas about how you are, what you must like and how you behave. These ideas were different from your person.
The family will have to learn how you are KNOWLEDGE and that they cannot stick their ideas to you as a picture.
You will also learn a lot how your husband is, how he ticks, which you did not think. This learning takes a marriage life long and is exhausting work. Some are annoying, some are thrilled, many are surprised.
This work is not connected with constant harmony and euphoria, but also with less beautiful feelings in everyday life. There must be absolutely everyone who wants to stay married and married until death… etc.
Happy birthday!
It wasn’t all great, even before the wedding!
Your mother-in-laws have been overwhelmed.
Probably you would have had to “protect” more clearly: It’s normal that you want to plan your wedding yourself! You should have done that, you and your husband.
Now the child has already fallen into the well.
Your mother-in-laws now think you’re unthinkable.
Let’s hope that the waves will smooth again!🍀
This mistake does not happen to you a second time: A possible baptism organizes you yourself
Thank you. But yes it actually makes me so done that I am now the ungrateful for the family. But good. As you say. The baby fell into the well.
Sometimes it is difficult to enforce his legitimate wishes.
Perhaps your child will bring the desired approach to the parent family again: It is certainly very welcome and all look forward to it.
Much help means dependency. You have committed yourself to addiction. When you tried, everyone didn’t find it funny. You think you owe them too much and break the rules.
Whether the relationship becomes better is unclear. Wait and don’t force you.
Try to forget all this and wait until the situation relaxes again. It’ll be okay with time, I think.