Mir wird das alles zu viel. Was könnt ihr mir raten..?
Hallo liebe Community,
ich lebe in einer sehr strengen Familie wo ich mit 24 Jahren (M) kaum Mitrede-Recht habe. Ich habe 2018 als Azubi angefangen mit 600€ Monatslohn habe 3,5 Jahre bis zur Ende der Ausbildung IMMER meinen Eltern 450€ überweisen müssen. Da ich zuhause lebe und angeblich keine Kosten/Ausgaben hätte dies das. Gut. Ich habe das ganze mitgespielt.
Nun bin ich seit einem Jahr ausgelernt, und verdiene knapp 2000€ Netto. Davon haben diese sich 1500€ gutgeschrieben monatlich und erwarten das ich diese ihnen monatlich auszahle. Habe ich auch bis heute gemacht. Nun soll ich ihnen erläutern was ich mit den restlichen 500€ monatlich mache da ich keine Ausgaben etc. habe. Ich zahle meine Outfits,Urlaub, Essen,Trinken, und tanke im Monat 200€. Ich halte es nicht aus.
Nun um mich besser kontrollieren zu können, wollen sie meine Online-Banking Daten. Ich bin verzweifelt Leute. Ich kann mich nicht gegen dieses strenge Verhalten stellen sonst werde ich keine familie mehr haben.
(2 votes)
Loading...
Hello, I have read your question and your comments and yes, I can understand that you lack the power to do something that is against your parents.
But no matter what culture you belong, no person is born to be the property of parents. Take off and build a life as you want. You are not alone, there are many people who will deal with you because they like you and vice versa.
You can do it if you want it. Your parents just think about themselves, not you. then you don’t need to have a bad conscience if you think of yourself. it’s just your life that you can and must live.
Thank you very much. That’s why you want to get rid of me by getting married. However, this is as difficult as my girlfriend is German and these have already said several times that will NOT. I have to completely separate from them if I want to live in peace.
And you want to live in peace, don’t you? Inner peace is most important without it you will never be happy.
You just need courage and the realization that you don’t harm anyone and are not dependent on anyone as you deserve your own money. With us they say that everyone is forging his happiness, that is not always true, but you have in your hand to make your life also worth living.
Read my comment on the answer from
Your parents seem to belong to another culture.
You’re 24
You’re an adult
You deserve
Pull
Say, you have another job and have to go to the other end of the city or to the neighboring city
It’s worse than you’re in prison
Did you want to leave the culture completely. Do you think secretly and whatsapp message is enough?
Simply embellish the truth (I didn’t want to say lying)
Rent apartment, and say you have a job further away and do not come to sleep
furniture you leave
Just don’t give your bank data
Tell the city I’m looking for an apartment
Here for 250
https://www.meinestadt.de/expose/588258
or here
https://www.meinestadt.de/expose/666807
https://www.meinestadt.de/bruchsal/immobilien/wohnungen
https://www.immowelt.de/expose/29gds5x?placement=recos_user_emptyList
What more do I not need
That would be enough for me. Had my rest and 1400€ rest. I am desperate.
https://www.immobilienscout24.de/expose/144446355?referrer=RESULT_LIST_LISTING&searchId=65dff604-0e22-3593-a031-9fcb0459144d&searchType=district#/
https://www.immobilienscout24.de/expose/144416621?referrer=RESULT_LIST_LISTING&searchId=65dff604-0e22-3593-a031-9fcb0459144d&searchType=district
Can call, and say on assembly, have a lot to do
City Bruchsal..
And then I don’t show up again? Without this they know where I am
look for a flat and take off. what do they want to do?
with 2000 euro net, you can come straight alone.
just said. otherwise I would have been gone for a long time.
No, not secretly but clearly represent your position.
Be as you think about the situation and don’t cuddle in front of your parents.
You deserve enough to lead an independent and self-determined life.
You seem to be under the fox of your parents that you don’t trust yourself.
Just do it.
a budget plan on revenue expenditure. then you see how much you have for rent over and then you’re looking for a flat. if your family breaks off the contact just because you look out- then you have no time to lose. such people only hurt you more.
That’s right.
And you want to do that for the next 20 years?
It won’t be easier, at some point you just have to do it.
Yeah, I don’t trust it because I’ve been manipulated for 24 years that I can’t resist.
I don’t think your family means it well with you. Are you sure they want your best?
Usually parents would take 400 euros for food and say save the rest of your money…
What do you need so much money for? Or is the relationship supported abroad?
Yes 400€ would be nice. 400€ stay from 2000/2100 and then I still have to give account of what I’m doing at 400€. I really don’t know. Actually, the good money..
Believe they don’t want you to meet women, party or drink alcohol
So they don’t want you to have money. You don’t have to do anything
Why are your parents so strict about their religion?
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do in an emergency.
Don’t give your data
If they throw you out, you’ll have to go with friends first.
Once they have your account details, you will never have access to your money. And how long should this go.. until you are 30, or 35
But tomorrow he wants my online banking. I’m not gonna do it then the mail will go.
I wouldn’t get the bank details out first. Maybe wait a few months until you’re sure what you want
Maybe you can talk to a psychologist, maybe with a compatriot of you, maybe you’ll find one
Yes, I am depressed and feared that I will not have been happy and happy for my life
I really don’t know
Culture Religion. But that’s not how they imagined that I could puke!!
With 2000 net, you can also take off well…
Cost of money in training is not unusual, 2⁄3 but already, 1500 € anyway!
It’s just when I’m married to the strict family. So I don’t know what to do
You are in D, full-year and merit decent and even male.
If your parents, or even the family does not ‘let’ your life, you can only guess to ‘take it’!
Thank you very much.. how am I supposed to take care of those confessions that I want to pull out.
Why do you live with the parents? I’d have been dressed in your place.
Is not as easy as it is said when manipulated for years
You need jmd. who supports you to convince your parents that you should move
I need someone to help me get out. Otherwise, this will not happen.
You have a girlfriend and if she thinks it honestly with you, she’ll help you. I don’t think it’s good to take off, but until it’s ready, you should do everything without your parents’ knowledge.
Recree exactly what you can pay and find a small apartment/room, set it up with everything you need to live, no matter how primitive it is.
When everything is ready to move in, pack your most important things, especially papers, clothes, etc. in a suitcase, write a letter to parents by saying that you live alone in the future, and you are sorry that they cannot understand.
At the end, wish them all the best and that you are not from the world, but are always accessible via mobile phones.(You must, of course, decide if you want to give them the number.) Then you leave the apartment if they don’t notice it and you have everything behind you.
Well, that’s just a little advice, but I also think a way that’s feasible.
Thank you.
take off. honestly, I wouldn’t have held up a few months with such people
How can I do that? Will no longer have a family
will they end contact with you? what will they expect? You’re an adult man and you’re old enough to go away when they turn away from you, you’re not guilty. you didn’t do anything wrong.
all the beginning is heavy, but retrospectively you will be truly grateful. have more money and more peace. for all peace. What do you want?
That’s true. find this step to go so hard. Thinking about it for 2 years really is a hell
You should get married so you can take off with your parents 🙋😃!
It’s too early to marry.
Take off, then you have your rest and more of your money.
And how am I supposed to make it clear to them that I’m moving out? Will lose contact with the family
In certain sense, everyone is the closest. Besides, you’re old enough. In addition, you are not working to feed the family. Make them clear and take off.
It takes too much time and does not change it in the relationship that I have nothing to say and that the money is no longer given.
You know what makes it so easy to show that you are not interested in parties and youngs and alcohol show that you have hobbies in religion are really keen and are so important to you parents and so much so that sir can trust you so be very close to your mother and father then you will always forget that you forget a little child (you know how they think) disputes and so bring nix and help from others also brings nix
I just looked at the executions. I wouldn’t even have to take money for 1-2 months somewhere where I could save money first.
No good SMS.
Rent apartment, buy bed at Ikea, take PC and collect clothes in the car
No big farewell
T u
You’re 24
Don’t let that happen
No.
Are your parents German?
Do you want me to give me the practicality? Or a good-bye SMS and everything just plan..
You have to
I think it’s going to be loud and possibly hand-to-hand. That’s why this is not going to be discussed.
Now, if you tell your parents you signed a lease, what will they say?
I find an apartment fast, but I’m afraid I’m signing everything but don’t dare to take it off.
I understand and I know that because I have the same problem but you have to start step by step so if I live with my parents I can’t say yes I want to live in other city first you need to secure your own apartment and then you keep looking
Besides them, I won’t get anything. I have to go far!
I can understand you completely as I also have very strict parents but you have to try in all ways to convince them e.g. find an apartment next to your parents
This will completely escalate.
Take off.
Let the cost explain.
How to explain costs
Why should you pay 1500 euro? a fair share of the cost is good but you are not subject to your siblings or your parents