Halli hallo hallöchen, ich bin seit 2019 geschieden, meine Frau hat alles genommen außer den Audi. Hab mir seitdem wieder ein stück weit ein Leben aufbauen können, aber ich vermisse meine Töchter. Hab jetzt mitbekommen, dass sie den Neuen meiner Ex-Frau “Papa” nennen. Ich habe keinen guten Draht zu ihnen, bin mir nicht sicher wie ich das am besten ansprechen soll. Habt ihr da Ratschläge?
(3 votes)
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Hello.
This is, of course, painful for you.
Divorce children try to Survival.You try to adapt. You think they’re 14 and 17 a divorce for children should be easy to put away.
But I think this is a widespread error.children linger much more than some parents and society want to be true.
It will certainly not have been easy for the younger.
Perhaps they say to the new “Papi” to mimic a hot world that he is not the Papi, know both actually themselves.
You’ll always be her father and stay.
➡️You have only one way to get in touch with your daughters as long as you have the right to regamg.
In your place, I would make the scripture, and indeed regular .
Even if no answer comes.
Just tell from your new life what you’re doing, tell zbdp that you were just walking in the woods, and then thought of her… that you missed her…
Fresh old positive memories that probably exist from past good times when the family has been intact.
Don’t blame them and don’t burden them with your difficulties in your situation.
I don’t know the story and the reasons for this divorce, but surely it could be good for you to talk to someone about it.
Best with other men in similar situations.This could certainly do you well.
Lg
http://www.vaeter-aktuell.de/links/Selfhilfegruppen/welcome2.htm
https://www.separat.de/self-help group separation.html
You don’t have a good relationship with your daughters, so they were basically without a father. Now your wife’s new man has filled this role and you’re jealous?
Honestly, STELL THE WOMEN DEINER NOT IN EGO! For two reasons. First, it’s your job as a father. Secondly, most likely they have a better relationship with him than with you and if you try to push yourself in between, it will only alienate you further.
Your children don’t have the task of making sure you’re okay. It’s reversed. You can discuss the maximum with your ex, she’s the contact person for this. But in the end your daughters decide who they call Papa and who not.
it’s too much open what you need to know… do you see them all two weeks for who?
His own answer to no:
OhGottoGottoGotto.
Do not put DEIN Ego on the ego of your fellow human being.
You’re teaching a person here in complete unconsciousness without knowing what was going on. That’s the worst come. which I have read today and almost psychopathic nature. Your expert status has probably been awarded a bot without a character test. Very sad.
The comments of the fs read? The children haven’t seen him since 2020, there were sporadic random contacts to the older ones, no more younger ones.
And now try to put you in the perspective of a 14-year-old who hasn’t heard a life sign from her biological father since she was 11. But there’s a stepfather who’s here every day. And now the biological father complains that she calls her stepfather Papa. Come on, you’ll get some empathy.
I don’t care what happened between the biological parents. The children have priority. Always. If there was a problem between parents, they should clarify (as I said, they are the contact person for him), but the children are kept out
Tell them that it hurts you and you miss her. This is not a promise of salvation, but you can’t do more from your side.
I miss her terrible.
Then tell them exactly. What happens after that remains for your daughters. This can also be painful, but if you’re honest about your feelings, you’ve done everything right.
It sounds like the new one is there for them and would behave like a father for them while you mimic a spirit. So it’s completely normal they call him that. And if you’re not an active, close part of the life of the children, it’s none of your business.
Or did I get the situation wrong?
If your children see him as a father, you can’t do anything about it.
How is that anyway? Do you have common custody? Do you have regulated handling {so zb every 2 weekends at you}?
Puh, around 2020, there was a complete contact break through Corona, and since then they never came back to me. I’m still talking to the big guy when you go over the way, but I haven’t seen the little one for almost two years…
Families were able to meet most of the time, and so in the summer of 2020 and summer 2021 you could even go on holiday again, since you could have visited or invited them safely.
Then try to reconnect like this, otherwise take a lawyer and regulate it if you can’t settle it privately.
a court won’t help. Because at the age, children can decide themselves whether they want to have contact with the biological father. If my father would not report to himself for 3 years (from the child’s point of view he left me behind, I don’t care) and then move to court at once because he wants a shared custody right and then I would be forced to come to him – I would have rebelled as a teenager.
next to that it will not work anyway
custody: When is the child allowed to decide whether mom or dad | NETPAPA
If I don’t find that bad now, they have two dads now. Especially when the new man has even children the dad can tell him I can imagine that your children will also tell him.
If he doesn’t have children, it would be unusual to start the children at the age.
If you don’t have a good wire to your children, you shouldn’t touch it first, but first try to improve your relationship with your daughters.
You only drive your publishing daughters away from you.
Instead, you should keep the contact that is possible and suitable for a child: send WhatsApp, letters and parcels, personal meetings, “parent taxi”, …
Well, you must accept that. Probably your daughters have no good opinion of you.
Actually, your ex would have to stop it. But in the fight against the former man, every weapon is right.
it’s too much open what you need to know… do you see them all two weeks for who?