Meine Mutter weigert sich an meine Zimmertür zu klopfen?
Hallo.
Ich (14w) habe gestern meiner Mutter gesagt das ich mir wünschen würde das sie an mein Zimmer anklopft bevor sie reinkommt. Sie wurde direkt sauer und hat gesagt das ich ja auch nicht bei ihr anklopfe (was logisch ist weil: Meine Mutter schläft im Wohnzimmer weil ich und mein Bruder, der aber in 2 Monaten auszieht, die 2 Schlafzimmer haben. Fürs Wohnzimmer gibt es aber keine Tür, also kann ich ja schlecht anklopfen. Ich habe ihr auch schon mehrmals gesagt das sie sich dort eine Tür hinbauen lassen kann, aber sie hat sich immer geweigert).
Das Gespräch ging dann noch kurz weiter und es lief darauf hinaus das sie gesagt hat „Ich versuche bei dir anzuklopfen aber weiß nicht ob ich dran denke“. Das hat sich aber nicht sehr glaubwürdig angehört und sie war auch den restlichen Abend angepisst.
Ich finde es sollte selbstverständlich sein anzuklopfen weil das doch auch einfach was mit respektieren der Privatsphäre zu tun hat, oder nicht?
Soll ich ihr jedes mal wenn sie nicht anklopft sagen das sie klopfen soll oder ist das respektlos?
Bei mir hat es verschiedene Gründe warum ich das will. Den ersten könnt ihr euch wahrscheinlich schon selbst denken aber der zweite ist mir viel wichtiger: Es kostet mich sehr viel Energie mit Leuten zu reden. Und versteht mich nicht falsch ich habe meine Mutter lieb und rede gerne mit ihr aber nach einem langen Tag wenn ich einfach gerne alleine sein würde und mich von niemandem zu labern lassen möchte, kann ich es halt einfach nicht gebrauchen das sie unerwartet in mein Zimmer kommt und mich kritisiert und mir sagt was ich machen soll und was nicht. Also ich brauche einfach diese Zeit für mich.
Ich verstehe ja auch das sie als Elternteil nach mir schauen muss und so vorallem weil ich schon oft and dem Punkt war wo ich überhaupt nicht mehr aus meinem Zimmer gekommen bin weil es mir mental nicht so gut ging. Aber zurzeit ist es so das ich es gut alleine regeln kann und mir diese Zeit für mich alleine wirklich hilft.
Und wenn sie halt klopfen würde könnte ich halt wenigstens „Moment“ oder „Nein“ sagen. Ich bin mir aber ziemlich sicher das sie das auch nicht akzeptieren würde.
Was sagt ihr dazu und wie kann ich es ihr nochmal erklären ohne das sie sauer wird?
(5 votes)
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I’m just explaining this as you described it here. Then she’ll understand. Privacy is also an important part of the depreciation process. Your mother also wants you to grow up (even if this is too early for her)…
Parents have to get used to the new situation.
You could z. before you go to the living room, and also for them this would be a possibility before it knocks (then you think of it at some point). I think she meant it seriously that she wanted to try.
knocking is completely pointless, I am 33 years old and have never knocked anywhere, I always go in everywhere, I find that absolutely annoying, since you have to hear through the door a response, often speaks the person in too quiet or outside is krach (which is often seen in movies or at others) achso and I hate it even when people just knock on my door doors are open and not to knock against.
However is knocking a sign of courtesy .. possibly the person does not want someone to come in
You could knock on the frame or ask if you can come in. That’s a gesture.
You may ask again and take a positive attitude.
Hello, I can understand you very well and it’s also super important that your mom will also make you free spaces.
Probably she felt attacked at the moment. Maybe she’ll take it better if you pack it more positively by expressing understanding for her… that you understand that she’s worried, angry or whatever. Always speak out of the me-perspective… without saying a accusation!
That’s an approach. So that she thinks you can hang a shield on the door, right over the handle where it stands: Please knock – and another one on her eye level where it is: Please knock.
She can’t say she didn’t think about it.
Still knock in the living room. If there’s no door, just take the frame. Show her that you trade exemplary.
it is the apartment of your mother and in which she can move freely as it fits her and when it fits her. it can also remove the door completely to your room. be grateful that you even have your own room
No, everyone has the right to privacy, even children. This has nothing to do with “moving freely” (the questioner does not want to prohibit her from coming into the room in general), but with interpersonal respect. It wouldn’t be okay if the mother would always come to the bathroom if the questioner is in the toilet or something. After your argument, that would be fine – that is absurd.
yes child has claim on a private sphere from 18 in own apartment. until then it lives as it is in muttis household.
A child does not have to live with lack of privacy because it is the right of the child.
No, a child has a right to privacy 18 years ago if you still live with parents.
the parent now determines how it goes in his own apartment. with it children must live.
I’m sorry that you think so, it seems that you have really had the worst experiences in this regard, if you think a parent is likely to be about the needs of children or Teens are just so blurred. Hope you have your own privacy.
So? Deien Mother is right. Why should she knock and you don’t? Where she sleeps doesn’t matter.
Your mother does not take it to himself to have a real retreat only so that you two have a room for you. Think about it.
She could simply say: you share the room.
There’s nothing wrong with her to knock. But get knocked in the future at the door frame or so
Do it. And you can ask her to do this with you. If she really does. Because children also deserve respect and decency. But why doesn’t your living room have a door?
no warning was like this from the beginning. there is not even a proper door frame
You said it. If she doesn’t, it’s her thing. After all, it’s her apartment. Just wait a few years, then you can take off and be alone and don’t want to talk to anyone as long as you want.
do I feel disrespectful?
your behavior is disrespectful. be grateful that you even have your own room. presumably your mother should clean up and put you in the room of your other sibling and ready she is with you
It has a right to privacy and its right to request it. No matter who the apartment belongs. Even children have deserved to be respecting their privacy, being parents does not mean that you can do with your child what you want.
Try different approaches:
Tell her that you don’t feel respected by her as a human being with rightness to privacy, thereby putting you under pressure and feeling contorted, and therefore, in the future, you need to learn more often to avoid a boy who is over 18 but you have your rest. Stay a few times after school longer in the lounge and observe the reaction of your mother. Let it work seris.
Just run naked in your room at lunch because you feel so comfortable. If your mother doesn’t want to see it, she’ll knock before. Or let yourself be consciously caught masturbating (sounds violent, but it works, happens everywhere, believe me: I also have children) etc.
Have frequent visits.
Buy a door stop or an inner lock and lock regularly. Tell her you’ll make it until she respects your privacy. Repeat as long as it goes!
Quartet in a hotel before working because you can learn better.
ensures that the door to the room completely disappears over short or long
What her mother must not do, because it violates the right to privacy, which also applies to children.
Then strangely all the other doors in the house also disappear to their bedroom….
Yes, in the case of the FS, you can see what terrible parents are.
Is in the case of the FS nciht given…
Or you’re a real parent and don’t treat your children like low beings.
Then a lot of fun in the practical implementation of the right…
you have no point
You don’t seem to understand my point.
nö, only the ones to the children’s room
Why don’t you stick a nice note to your door that you can’t overlook:
I look forward to every visitor who knocks on me 🙂
I had done nothing before.