Meine Freundin hat angefangen zu rauchen und ist für mich der größte Abturn, was tun?
Für mich macht rauchen einen Menschen direkt unattraktiver, weshalb für mich schon immer klar war niemanden zu Daten der raucht.
nun habe ich meine Freundin gefunden und sie war selber gegen Rauchen, zwar tun es quasi alle ihrer Freunde aber sie nicht, worüber ich sehr glücklich war.
Nun hat sie aber auch angefangen zu rauchen und das gibt mir den größten Ick. Ich finde es einfach so abstoßend und wenn die raucht habe ich direkt keine Lust mehr mit ihr zu reden etc. einfach weil dieses Gefühl was ich dabei entwickele so ekelhaft ist. Sie ist auch die einzige Person Wo dieses Gefühl so stark ist, aber ich kann nix dagegen tun.
Aufhören wegen mir wird sie nicht also ich muss irgendwie damit umgehen, aber wie?
Ps: wer sagt ich solle mit ihr reden, geht nicht.
wenn man Probleme anspricht weicht sie aus, ignoriert oder wird defensiv.
Also wie soll ich mit der Situation und diesem Gefühl umgehen?
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Are you sure that’s not an exam? I have experienced 2x in my life that in my environment people started smoking because certain teachers/professors were so much against smoking that they were guilty of this protest movement. She likes smoking, you’re inflexible, that’s like the salad in the fairy tale Rapunzel: At some point, the pleasure becomes too big.
What are you supposed to do? Apparently, you don’t get to them on the subject, then you have the choice first of all whether you solve the friendship or not. Also, you have the choice whether you might not try yourself. But that would be a high price for a friendship.
You have only 2 options:
1 accept and live with it; or
Two.
If this is really your way to communicate you have quite different problems than smoking. You will never manage this communication to lead a healthy relationship, even apart from smoking. All I can advise you requires communication, without sensible communication, that cannot work. Talk to her, tell her how much this turns out and if she reacts so childily again, then you should seriously think about a separation. Smoking alone is already a huge reason for separation, but the completely lack of communication is a much greater one.
Think about whether this is really a basis for a healthy relationship and whether you really want to spend your limited lifetime with a person who is so little interested in you and your needs.
For you, smoking seems to be a dealbreaker & a relationship in which you disgust yourself in front of the partner makes no sense. So I’d suggest a separation in person.
Disconnect. You have no future.
Talk to her and get your consequences out of the conversation.
PS: If you can’t talk to your partner in a relationship, you should think about what the principles are.
If you don’t bear it, you have to separate.