Mein Vater zerstört Weihnachten?
Hallo. Ich wende mich nun an GuteFrage weil ich einfach nicht mehr weiter weiß.
Ich bin in einem sehr behüteten Elternhaus aufgewachsen und hatte eine wunderschöne Kindheit. Jetzt bin ich 20 und Weihnachten ist eine der wichtigsten Traditionen des Jahres für mich. Darauf freue ich mich immer besonders.
Dieses Jahr habe ich beschlossen mit meinen Eltern selber einen Tannenbaum zu fällen, auch als schöne gemeinsame Tat und Erinnerung. Der Baum war der perfekteste Baum seit Langem. Wunderschön groß und dicht. Doch als meine eltern den Baum aufstellen wollten, war er wohl etwas zu schwer und der Baumständer konnte den Tannenbaum nicht halten. Meine Eltern hatten ihn dann erst mal zurück auf den Balkon gelegt. Ich war zu derzeit nicht zu Hause und als meine Mutter kurze Zeit später auch das Haus verließ, nahm mein Vater einfach eine Säge und sägte die Spitze von unserem Weihnachtsbaum einfach ab.
Er hat es nicht mit uns abgesprochen gar nichts. Meine Mutter hatte noch vorgeschlagen, dass wir unten einfach 30 cm oder so vom Baum abschneiden. Aber er sägt einfach dir spitze ab. Der Baum war vorher 2,70m groß. Jetzt ist er so 1,40…
Wir beide waren sehr schockiert und als ich versucht hab mein Vater zu erklären, warum er denn nicht von unten abgesägt hat, meinte er nur dass er nicht verstehe, was ich meine und das doch so jetzt gut ist. Blanke Lüge. Ich war so verdammt, enttäuscht und wütend. Zwei Tage sind jetzt seitdem vergangen, und ich habe meinem Vater nur noch die kalte Schulter gezeigt. Er sieht seine Schuld einfach nicht ein und denkt, dass er alles richtig gemacht hat. Kein bisschen Bedauern.
Jetzt hat er den Baum alleine geschmückt und ich hab eben oben gesagt, dass er es trotzdem der hässlichste Baum aller Jahre ist. Ich möchte nur von ihm hören dass es ein Fehler war oder irgendwas in der Art. Aber nein…
Vorher war mein Vater die ganze Zeit positiv optimistisch und hat unsere negativen Antworten einfach ignoriert. Aber dann sagt er einfach in einem super angepissten Ton „So langsam vergeht mir auch die Lust“. OBWOHL WIR DOCH DIE SIND, DIE ALS EINZIGE DAS RECHT HABEN BÖSE ZU SEIN?!
Jetzt ist mein Vater total zickig und beleidigt und gemein zu meiner Mutter und ich bin nur in meinem Zimmer am weinen und frage mich wie ich in ein paar Stunden Nettigkeit und Dankbarkeit für Geschenke zeigen soll.
Das sind doch narzisstische Züge oder?
Keine Ahnung ich weiß nicht mehr was ich tun soll. Einfach ignorieren und zu tun als ob alles okay ist wäre ja falsch weil er soll wissen, dass er was falsch gemacht hat und ich erwarte mindestens irgendwo einmal ein bisschen bedauern. Deswegen kann ich doch jetzt nicht einfach so tun, als ob nichts gewesen wäre oder?
Ich bin am Boden zerstört und enttäuscht und möchte einfach die nächsten Stunden überspringen… 🙁
Danke fürs Durchlesen
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The tastes are different.
With my mother (God saved her unfortunately this year), a fir always had to be very dense and juicy, even under 2m went with her nix. The fir tree has almost always filled the total window width in the living room.
I also like tannins that are very dense, but they can be a bit slimmer and 1.8m would be OK for me too.
Now my father (don’t live with my parents) picked out a tree. He’s got 1.5m and he’s on a stool. Is also slightly slimmer and feels a bit lighter than we had for years (but not too light).
I think it’s pretty.
There were many years there my father had to climb either at the top (which is OK, as long as a tip is recognizable), but also often had to be adapted to the spatial conditions with the bead and saw of the tree. And just downstairs because of resin and chips that in apartments is a real mess that you have to sprinkle away.
It is Christmas and how in life is not everything perfect, you have to stand over it and forgive each other mistakes. Tree, feasts and gifts are not all.
Ahem… he saw the tree just in the middle. so that the tree (the part where the tip is at one end) is only half as large.
It’s okay. If the tree was too heavy/too large for your fir tree stand, it would be dangerous.
He didn’t destroy “Christmas.”
The compassion in itself, so your reactions and comments on seeing the difficulties in “something” funny/ memorable/ meaningful, all that has led to your father having no desire for Christmas or this tree situation.
You have a tree, you may have gifts, you surely have something good to eat, you are together as a family. In addition, a roof over the head, heat.
This is so confusing as many others can experience today – on Christmas Eve.
And with you everything goes down the brook because of a tree that was too big a risk in the original size.
Just put both halves up from the tree and decorate both halves.
A Christmas tree is perfect when you taste it together.
If a part is 1.40 m and the tree was 2.70 m before, the other part is 1.30 m.
So he actually split the tree in the middle, although that is really incomprehensible! I would also have swung down below 50 cm if it was too big and heavy.
If you have a license, I’d try to buy a new tree. To get out again is good in the situtation and to dissolve the quarrel too!
Oida – to organize such a theater because of a tree I just find kindergarten. If your father likes the tree as it is now, it’s logical that he doesn’t see his “mistake” because he didn’t do anything from his point of view.
But with your cuckoo that’s why your father didn’t destroy Christmas, but rather you. Making less drama and Peace and reconciliation – because this is the much more important Christmas tradition than trees or gifts or anything else.
I look different but well thank you for the reflection
I had to laugh. You know the movie “Great scaling” Lief on TV yesterday. sooo funny. The Griswold family had also dragged a much too big Christmas tree out of the forest.
One of the funniest movies ever….
Otherwise, you are 20. So take a break. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, uh, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, uh, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,
Really now? You don’t let a “perfect” Christmas tree destroy your beloved Christmas? Why is it so important to you at the feast of love that someone has “school” at pellet?
“Totally zigzag and insulted” are you and your mother, and thus ruin the feast.
With us in the family, the “false” sawed tree would be a nice anecdote, which is repeatedly told and where it is laughed together.
Happy for you!
I’m really wondering how insensitive and clumsy men can be without really mean evil. Cut a christmas tree in the middle, it already hurts listening!
Nevertheless, you have to think about how Christmas can be beautiful. And I’m afraid you have to take the first step. Is there the tip? Can you do anything with that? Adhesive, give the rabbit in the stable a Christmas tree? A bit of creativity could help you overcome the frustration.
Thanks to you
… and like zigig women.
Listen to me narcissistic traits.
The whole thing wasn’t agreed, but yet he tried for your Christmas together.
If I’m shown the cold shoulder for days and I’m ignored, I’d rather look for other people to celebrate – hard but true – I understand your father in place.
Maybe all of you are holding back a little bit with your judgments, which will spare all the feast and also other cohesion.
I still wish you a nice and relaxed time and hope you will still get this.
In the sense
good,
🥦
Thanks anyway
Yeah, I know you a little too. The tree was a symbol of your cohesion, you should have planned it together and it hurt you.
You may also be injured, only then because of such a child and woman for days only the bad thing about him and the common time I feel as cruel when reading.
You should communicate this and everyone should be heard, even your father.
Head high, family conflicts at Christmas time are nothing unusual.
Please don’t just see the bad one. Not because of a lapalie.
Nice holidays.
Jo, was stupid of your father. It’s not better to get around for three days. You should’ve just used the time to go and get Nen matching tree. And then simply say: sorry but he is and too small we want to take it. We can put the little one somewhere else. Etc.
Problem solved.
That’s how you sit there and everyone’s pissed. On the other hand, the father might have been pissed. Even not optimal but he would have been guilty of it himself.
The best conditions for a harmonious festival.
If you yell at him like that…
Who?
If you are 20, as you write, you should be all grown up and act.
You must not be aware that there are much worse things.
Happy holidays
Unfortunately, it can no longer be changed. If you buy an artificial next year, there are no problems and there is no tree to die.
Put the rest of the tree on the balcony or where you have space, then you all have a tree.
Because of such a crap, not Christmas is destroyed.
It’s not about a tree, it’s about the family. Be happy to have your parents. The luxury many have not
How to read with the FS.
These are not narcissistic traits. You’re just deeply insulted.
The regret on the part of your father can be waited: that can take a while until he gets it. You’d better tell him.
If you put the upper part of the Christmas tree in your own room, you have your own tree as an alternative. –
God, such a theatre…
Why not just laugh about it?
It’s just about a fir tree and not about, for example, violence in the family.
Grab 3 glasses of champagne and baptize the tree together with your parents to the most ugly Besenstiel in the world
You destroy Christmas. Not your father. He just doesn’t have any more shocks on your completely exaggerated behavior. Where’s the Christmas feeling? Where’s the kindness, the family sense?
Unbelievable.
I understand this is coming over. But I can’t smile, though he knows he hurt me. do you understand?
And you think you didn’t hurt him much more? Isn’t it good?
I don’t even have a Christmas tree and you’re crying.