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mhi0340221
1 year ago

I’m only 18 years old, but I’m still going to take it consistently. I think it’s good to educate you kids strictly and when they come in teenagers to give you more freedom. Then they appreciate it and are at the same time able to decide well themselves

hubmonia
1 year ago

The children have to cope with the proportion of freedom they are granted, and responsible can handle it.

How much exactly that is, no one can estimate better than the parent himself. And it can be little to much…

My daughter had many freedoms, I trusted her, and she never abused my trust. We drove so well.

Your son seems overwhelmed. I can’t smoke with 11. Even if you smoke as a father, but as an adult, you don’t have to admit this freedom to him.

You should stop smoking anyway and give a better example. Smoking does not bring you anything (I say that as a former strong smoker over 20 J). Think about it. Some smoker wins around 50 lung cancer….

Perhaps your son is already handicapted by the absence of the mother, and therefore your situation is more difficult than usual. Maybe an education consultancy would be useful.

You can also discuss the subject with your son. At 11 he is able to understand that the better he deals with granted freedom, the more he gets.

Wintermadl
1 year ago

My daughter is 13.
Basically, she has all the freedoms as long as she adheres to certain rules: sleep times, no cell phone at the table while eating and stuff like that, so really banal things.

If it doesn’t, then consequences are shown. I really don’t like punishing my child, but there must be consequences that they have to bear in their later lives.

Konketes Beislpiel: she went through the last ECDL exam: joa… is no matter. I can do it again… If it doesn’t matter, dear child, you’ll fund the next exam from your pocket money. It doesn’t hurt the window.

Wintermadl
1 year ago
Reply to  Wintermadl

Oh and as an addition: if I expect some of them, I’m really consistent. If I make an announcement, that’s the way.
Don’t rush back. That’s what my husband always does and both kids are dancing on his nose.

sugercat2005
1 year ago

You should have been a couple of years ago. He didn’t get it because he’s doing what he wants. But be strenuous with logic, because simply forbid will not go, then it will only be jacky. Explain to him why you’re doing something, and then stay with him, and if he does, you should punish him (no cell phone, not out, no TV, no games) anything that makes him really clear that you mean it.

marga60rita
1 year ago

Realistic consequence is important, but you also have to go through it.

Maybe you can talk about Easter a little bit about your needs, get closer and ask some things as a father. Why does he want to smoke etc? I didn’t have such needs at 11 years – has a reason with your son. Talk to him when you work, he is certainly on himself. You don’t know what he does.

Make yourself cool pleasant Easter days! 🙂

GutenTag2019
1 year ago

Setting together and talking about your own inner life for a change. Be sincerely interested and questioning the others, WARUM is smoked!

No, it’s not clear he smokes with 11! I started very early, of course secretly, but I regret every single train today and don’t smoke well over 20 years.

You’re a model – that should really be the case with everything you do all day and say be aware if you love your child and want to give him a good start to life!

Jannisxd40
1 year ago

Hello

I think is good if your son can unfold freely

Does he smoke much?

daedag
1 year ago
Reply to  Jannisxd40

It is good if an 11-year-old smokes, and you should allow this as free development? Oh, my…

Gefen
1 year ago
Reply to  Jannisxd40

Yes, you should

Hravatskibre
1 year ago

If he bothers people (also you) with it, please be consequent, otherwise he will be a naughty, annoying teenie. Otherwise, I’d let him free enough.

daedag
1 year ago

Unconditionally point limits and be consistent. You won’t do him a favor if you let him go through everything!

yamat501
1 year ago

That depends on what frame he does what he wants.

When it comes to bedtime or something, I would say as long as the school is right everything is okay

LeckermaulVK
1 year ago

To help an education consultancy.

AusMeinemAlltag
1 year ago

If he only does what he wants, criminal things will be there sooner or later.

Bajor
1 year ago

Finally, the educational measures that you have apparently neglected so far.

grossefrau681
1 year ago

“and smoke” – find the mistake.

jessikessi
1 year ago

Well, give a bad example for your son and then wonder when the little one wants to go after the dad and also smoke.

Weed42051996
1 year ago

Let him smoke.

We didn’t do anything else at the age, did we?

jessikessi
1 year ago
Reply to  Weed42051996

Oh, yeah?

Nora700
1 year ago

If you let him go through it, he knows no limits.

Zanderfreund
1 year ago

Show him where the end is

tim75794
1 year ago

Being consistent

RealTyLee
1 year ago

The consequences.

maja0403
1 year ago

Both, freedoms must be and consequence as well.