Mein Neffe hat Not!?
Mein Neffe hat mich letzte Nacht wach gemacht weil es ihm so schlecht geht und er nicht in die Schule wollte.
Ich habe gerade versucht mit ihm zu reden weil ich als sein Onkel (und zukünftig auch sein Erziehungsberechtigter, weil seine Eltern ihm psychisch schaden) , immer für ihn da war. Wirklich immer.
Immer als seine Eltern ihn fertig gemacht haben oder er Probleme in der Schule hatte oder mit Freunden oder innere Konflikte, war ich immer eine emotionale Stütze und das hat er mir auch so oft bestätigt und er sagte so oft, dass ich der coolste Onkel der Welt bin und dass er dankbar ist mich zu haben ☺️
Nur vorhin als ich ihn frage, was los ist, da sah es anders aus.
Ich habe gesagt: “du weißt, du kannst mir alles anvertrauen und egal was ist, ich werde für dich da sein und dir helfen, mein Lieber also was ist denn los ?”
Und er hat gesagt:”ja du warst immer für mich da, aber dieses mal nicht es ist zu heftig, du würdest es niemals verstehen oder gut finden.”
Und dann habe ich gesagt: “doch natürlich, egal was ist ich bin für dich da ! Bitte vertrau mir doch, das konntest du doch immer.” Und dann sagte er ich soll ihn in Ruhe lassen, er geht jetzt schlafen (was viel zu früh für ihn ist) , er war plötzlich so emotional aufgelöst und ist gegangen.
Was um alles in der Welt könnte bei unserem Vertrauen und unserem Verhältnis so schlimm sein, dass er denkt ich würde es nicht verstehen ??
Was soll ich nur tun ? Er will plötzlich nicht reden ☹️ ich mache mir Sorgen.
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Children always feel that adult they cannot understand. It sounds stupid but they think their feelings are unique in the world and nobody can help them. Evtl could tell him a bad story from your life and make him realize that you had bad times and can understand his need. Depending on the age, you could also go to him if possible and get him out of his current situation and just walk with him. Sometimes it just breaks out.
Yeah, but he could always talk about everything. Really ALL. That’s why he actually knows I understand him. I was always there for him…
I understand your helplessness. But in some things, degrees when they are shameful (use, self-harm, bullying etc.) It is difficult for adolescents to have degrees with close references. It could change your mind, he thinks. That this is not the case in his head. Too big is the fear you could reject him.
He knows you, of course, and He knows what you find and what you don’t like, and also things you don’t like, it can be a statement that you once made in a situation that he now compares with his and doesn’t tell you about it. He is of course afraid of what burdens him but even more fear to lose you. Give him time and above all listen well to whom he will try by clues Tell you things and at the same time explore how you reagier. Otherwise it does not have to be (for us) that bad! So he should tell you something, no matter what way, then give it meaning, something like, yes, I would have been afraid ” or so . And in no case would push.
Thank you 😔 I try to talk to him again
You could write him as much as: my dear young, I know in your life a lot and no matter what it is, there’s nothing that could reduce my opinion and love for you. I was once in the situation xy, I was so ashamed and thought everyone would despise me. But you know, those who really love you will always be there and catch one. And I want to be this man for you. Whatever it is, I love you and I’m always there. Whether you want to talk about it or not, I’m always here. It can’t stop me. I just want to tell you that it helps to share things, even if it’s hard at first. I’ve experienced so much and maybe I can help you. And if I can’t be there for you anyway.
Do you know how I could go to him or what I could say he trusted me again as familiar as before?
I can imagine. But teens are cognitive not so far developed and feel constantly evaluated and observed. Watching their social is often more important to them than their mental health. They can only make it clear that they are not alone in the world and show with transparent behavior that one has mistakes and thus does not drop the reputation. Of course you can’t force him, you can only make him realize that there’s nothing he can do to scare you.
Yeah, that could be thanks. But especially when it is so burdensome, it is important that I help him, but only talking people can be helped. I’m really worried, I can’t put it in words.
So either something happened at school or he takes it for his real parents. He can only know it himself.
He should have the wish to speak and to implement. Otherwise you will not be able to help. You may loosen it if you ask him, for example, what does it mean to tell me about your problem?
You’ve been writing yesterday that your behavior is quite strange. You exaggerate it completely and I feel uncomfortable with your questions as the mother of 4 children
Why?
If you can’t explain why I’m going to ignoring you because I don’t want any comments without any examples or explanations.
You’re doing a spell with the poor boy. He might just need time. You have a child, that’s right to a father. You can’t always do cool uncles. You can put me on igno, that will show your true maturity…
They call it care
Maybe a psychologist can help
He could always trust me. I’m so worried, why can’t he do it now?…
That can have many reasons. I did that when I was honest.
Maybe he’s gay, and he’s burdening him, and he can’t tell you, because, as you’ve told you in your contributions, you have a total dislike against LGBT??
How do we know what happened to him about the liver?
Running over the liver does not sound healthy
Is a winged word