Man ruins everything financially?
Good day/evening.
My husband is driving me crazy financially… he's ripped me off with his years of debt. I always said we'd get it back on track… now I've become really serious when I realized I only have €50 left for two weeks and a child, etc. My husband is now trying to make me feel guilty, etc. He earns €1,700, and it's usually gone after four days… I earn €1,200, and he gives me €700. Rent etc… but he can't pay anything anymore and is burdening me with debts… because he can't pay anything… where the rest of his money has gone… I can never understand… I can't get any information… I want a divorce because things can't go on like this… I'm just asking… he cheated on me a year ago with someone else and is only getting into debt so that I can't afford anything and can barely look after our child if he carries on like this… (I've always put money aside and can still look after myself and the little one really well) what he mustn't know… my only worry is… if we get divorced it will take a year… and what happens after that… can we somehow (accuse) him of only being with the little one under my supervision during the divorce… he's also found out about drink driving… unfortunately I can never prove it (I never go with him, of course) and he can't look after her properly either because he's in debt etc… what can I do…?! So that he never has the little girl alone with him… (otherwise I want normal contact; he's the father, after all) but alone with her… I'll die in that time without knowing what's happening. (Can you avoid the year of separation) because of debts, cheating, etc.?
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These are all no reasons to deprive him of custody. You’ll have to be friends with the thought, it’s not yours, it’s your child.
This is due to the question description Your Opinion that we do not have to share.
Experienced, unfortunately.
Even if you know he’s drinking alcohol at the wheel…and you don’t know if he’s doing it when the little one sits in doesn’t want to take him the custody…but you’re not laughing alone
I can understand you 10000%! But from experience (My sister has divorced from her alcoholic ex) I do not know that such reasons are sufficient.
My ex-square was even stopped with MIT child and 1.8 permille, but he was allowed to continue to have the children alone and also a judge considered giving him the full custody and right of residence because he had time (unemployed) and my sister did not (full-time).
Luckily there was a change in the court and my sister then got the right to reside. Nevertheless he was allowed to see the children – alone. 🙁
I’m really sorry for you. You know, this has even been a big reason for me to decide against my own children. For fear of sharing them, for example, with the exman mutated to the A-hole. I experienced it as a child myself, that was not nice.
But maybe you have “lucky” and he doesn’t show any interest in the child? Would you like to do something with friends?
Thank you for your answer… it won’t be easy… I don’t want to take the little one away…but still somehow “determine” what he does with her alone… he sometimes leads up like 15 years old in a reckless manner and no plan of what… how could I be so dazzled for 3 years
Hi! These are topics and questions that you need to discuss not here in a lay forum but with consultancy offices and a divorce attorney. In doubt, this must be hi- and punctual, which is why I also receive further statements about it: You will not get this without these help alone as you describe it.
Gruss
But thanks for your help
You’re welcome.
How to answer your questions from a distance?
You mix emotional things with real things, which is actually quite normal and human in such cases or situations. This is understandable, but it doesn’t help.
It’s just…
You can now either look for help to solve both problems together or you have to solve them for yourself with a divorce attorney.
But a lawyer will only be able to solve the factual part. You have to deal with the emotional wounds in a different way.
Good luck
Thank you for your answer
You should Local consultancy or to a Specialist in family law Turn:
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beratungshilfe