Mama ist tot und Papa ist aggressiv?
Hallo Leute, ich weiß echt nicht mehr was ich tun soll.
Meine Mama ist vor circa 9 Monaten gestorben und seitdem muss ich mit meinem Vater alleine leben. Er war schon immer eigentlich „aggressiv“, er hatte auch früher meine Mutter geschlagen, dass war aber nur als ich Kleinkind war. Mich hat er noch nie geschlagen!!! Aber trotzdem ist er so aggressiv und irgendwie so dumm, er checkt garnichts.
Ich frage ihn z.B was ganz normales und er fängt direkt an zu brüllen. Wisst ihr, ich kann wirklich nicht mehr, ich hasse es den ganzen Tag angeschrien zu werden und mir anzuhören müssen, wie scheiße ich bin. Er gibt mir zwar viel materielles, z.B Geld oder er fährt mich überall hin und so. Aber man kann einfach nicht mit ihm reden. Meine Schulsozialarbeitern meint, dass immer die Option besteht, dass ich in ein Heim könnte, aber ehrlich Leute das will ich nicht. Bei meinen Verwandten kann ich auch nicht leben, da ich so gut wie kein Kontakt mit ihnen hab.
Mein Papa macht mich psychisch fertig, um ehrlich zu sein.
Was könnte ich machen?
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The father, probably after the death of your mother, who was his wife, has lost quite a hold and he has no one who falls in his arm or holds him back in his aggression; Actually, he would probably urgently need a therapy if he no longer manages the life (of which you are also a part).
Maybe he even has an alcohol problem that he hides as well as possible.
I found the following solution: a joint conversation with the trust teacher or school social worker, in which you can address these problems once in a protected manner. This is not about it. to find a solution there, but in overreach situations, an education or Family advice is very useful.
I suppose you’re not always easy to take in puberty and – with permission.
Thank you for this answer. With the alcohol problem you’re right, he’s drinking something more often, and it’s also more common that he was lying drunk in the apartment.
Actually, he’s a poor mess. The point is that he can’t let it out on you.
Why take care of this dirty shithead?
Because that’s the father. No human being is perfect, and if you can help a human being, it must not remain intact.
Not every producer is a father and not every man’s pile is a man, just because by chance arms and legs are there.
I would also like to leave you there, not to underestimate what this kind of violence can make in the long term.
But I guess it’s very hard to separate from his parents if you’re not ready.
In your place, I would define your own limits. What you don’t want to let, or if he does, it’s too far. Then go and help.
The Youth Office is actually the right point of contact.
With 17 a very good friend of mine moved to cared for housing (she had got a small apartment but was still regularly supervised by a social worker – she was quite independent.) The girlfriend had to do with violence by the mother. They were able to carry out the excerpt later and to deal well with each other again. Maybe not always works, but in that case it was good for everyone.
Good luck!
It doesn’t have to be a home, there are housing groups and nursing families where you could live for at least one time until your father gets better or better. he remembers that it can’t stay like now. Just try to think about you and your future. At home, nothing will change if you don’t change it. How long do you want to keep this? You could at most try to avoid contact as far as possible, to get out of the way any conversations. But it will be difficult in the long run. Talk to the school social worker.
If you want to get out there, there’s no way past the youth office, and that means home or nursing parents if they find themselves.
You can try to make him realize that he behaves in your relationship like the immature child and doesn’t live up to his responsibility as an adult, but instead she strangles you, which is simply not fair. But if you tell him so directly, it may make the conflict escalate. It would be ideal to manipulate him in such a way that he comes on himself.
The first would be to introduce rules. One by one. How to keep a normal tone and talk to each other like normal people. As soon as he starts screaming, talk immediately and go away. Make it clear to him that you do not accept this tone at all and take note of nothing that is not presented in normal sound. Of course you can’t scream back if you want to stay morally right.
Edit: And of course, it goes without saying that you avoid any conversation and contact when he is drunk.
At the same time, he can talk to you about everything as long as he behaves and speaks like normal civilized people.
If he bruises you, tell him everything in writing. Whatsapp has personally proved to be amazingly useful.
The next rule would probably affect his suff.
Of course, you must not neglect your duties, but the main part of the responsibility lies with the adult.
Have you ever tried to talk to him about this situation in a matter of fact?
Maybe you just have to figure out you’re talking to each other a lot.
Tell him how you feel when he screams. Speak of your fears. Ask him what you should do differently so that you two can find each other again.
First thanks for this answer:) The problem is that I’ve tried so many times, but it’s always the other fault.
At least you’d have your rest in a group. Maybe, alternatively, a family help from the youth office could do you well.
After he beat your mother earlier, it has nothing to do with your mother’s death. Peep on the son of a bitch and take care of your own life. He’s not worth ruining your life.
Turn to the youth office.