Learn that I don't have to prove anything to anyone?
Hey friends, I'm 21, studying to be a math and chemistry teacher, and I'll try to briefly explain what's going on:
I'm taking my EWS exam tomorrow. I started studying too late, completely underestimated it, and made the mistake of writing my entrance exam during that semester as well. I've actually already resigned myself to taking the revision attempt. In the seventh semester, I only have courses for the subject exam but no written exams, and in the eighth semester, I'll take my subject exam. So I could take my EWS exam again in the seventh semester, "relaxed."
My problem is that I'm actually fine with it, but somehow I don't want to disappoint my family. I know they won't be disappointed, but it still feels that way. I'm the first person in my family to go to college, and to be honest, they don't really understand it and end up labeling it like school. I just find it exhausting in the long run.
How can I learn to just do my own thing without having to constantly show everyone that I can do it? I've always packed my semesters full because I always underestimate how much work a lecture actually requires. So far, it's always worked out, but this time I've realized that taking my exam now was a huge mistake. And I'm also worried that even though I'm studying more for the improvement attempt, a lot of it still depends on the assignments.
Well, in any case, to the basic question: Does anyone have any tips on how I can focus my life more on myself and not on the opinions of others? Especially when I know rationally that they probably don't see my performance as weak, but it feels that way?
Thanks in advance 🙂
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While your question reads as if you had already understood it, I write it again for the sake of clarity: not your family is the problem, but your own head. You yourself are disappointed. This is as long as it encourages you to make it better the next time, to learn from mistakes etc, but as soon as in your head everything only turns around the mistakes that have just been committed, it becomes destructive.
What can help you, just if you know rationally what thing is: Pronounce or write the rational thought out loud (for example, if you ask a question here). So not: “If I do not pass this exam, my parents are disappointed.” “If I do not pass the exam, I am disappointed. And I don’t have to be disappointed, because an exam that wasn’t immediately passed or postponed happens to almost everyone, and in the end it’s important to finish the study successfully, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
But quite honestly, even though this is likely to be totally brutal for you now: some help with perfection’s compulsion to put themselves in the cuffs really badly. But the world still continues to revolve,” that can be healing.
I know your feeling very well. Personally, I always think what the others would think if I do this and that. I’m always putting myself in the back. I don’t know what to do about it.
This is your studies where you decided to plan it individually from the course. This can be seen very positive, as you are obviously able to have an overview of the requirements and the best course for you.
In the end, you are ahead of many others! The ability of individual structuring will also make working life easier.
It’s about DEINE’s future, not your family, so just think about you and focus on what’s important and what you want to achieve. In the end, the goal counts when you have reached it will be all proud of you.
I’ll turn in.
This goes your way, doesn’t matter what other people think about you or say. Shake it off and be yourself.
As an example.
To date, I don’t understand how to be happy with it.
We are social beings and depend on acceptance.
Not everyone is dependent on it and people who love you accept you (more or less) as you are.
I live my life and not that of others, especially when it comes to my future.
Was a stony and long way but he definitely rewarded himself!
That’s what you can do.
I don’t know how to deal with feelings of other people. Thanks sound stupid.
You’ve gained strength.
Long story quite in focus: I have always made it right to others, had zero self-esteem more etc and was at some point so unhappy that I was about to commit suicide. So I had to draw a final line and finally think of myself.
I’m glad you made this step. 👍
For me, my self-confidence and my further way, a great and unnecessary burden would fall away.
Can you explain what has led you to think about these?
Greeting
By the way, I got it first with about 25 to 30 (don’t know exactly) and slowly but gradually implemented, because it was too late for many things too. But I’ve been living for how it’s right for me, but what doesn’t mean I’m selfish and I don’t care about others.
I had to learn or understand that, that was not easy but actually better for me.
They told me so often “you’re not stupid, why don’t you do this and that.”
What you say is very groundbreaking, I would only have thought so 20 years ago.