Kinder Betreuung oder Krenkenhaus?
Hallo ihr lieben, das wird eine etwas längere Erklärung zur Frage ich hoffe es gibt welche die sich die Zeit nehmen könnten 🙂
Ich fange mal damit an das ich 25 J alt bin und 2 Kinder im Alter von 8 & 6 Jahren habe.
Und derzeit in der 27 Woche schwanger bin.
Mein ältestes Kind lebt bei seinem Papa und darf momentan aufgrund von seinem adhs nur von 8-9:40uhr zu Schule.
Da der Papa arbeiten geht muss ich jeden Tag mo-fr. Insgesamt 5 Stunden fahren (Bvg) um mein Kind aus der Schule zu holen und mein zweites zur Kita und wieder nach Hause.
Das geht momentan sehr an meine körperlichen Grenzen, nun war ich die erste Woche nach den Sommerferien schoneinmal mit Bettruhe zuhause durch vorzeitige wehen, jetzt merke ich seid gestern das es wieder los geht.
Ich hatte vor einer Weile schon das Gespräch mit dem Vater von Kind 1 gesucht das ich Unterstützung mit der abholunh bräuchte. Die er aber abgelehnt hat durch seinen Job im Einzelhandel.
Ich weiß das ich jetzt da die Schmerzen immer schlimmer werden eigentlich ins Krankenhaus müsste, doch ich habe etwas Angst vor erneuter Bettruhe oder sogar einem Krankenhaus Aufenthalt. ( Kind 2 ließe sich im Notfall bei Familie unterbringen)
Sollte eins von beiden eintreten würde ich aber für Kind 1 wieder ausfallen und könnte es weder aus der Schule holen und auch nicht betreuen bis der Papa Feierabend hat.
Da uns das Jugendamt schon im Nacken hängt ( wegen der Schul Situation) bin ich gerade scheinbar die einzige Möglichkeit sicher zu stellen das Kind 1 bei uns in der Familie bleiben kann. Da der Vater sich irgendwie da mehr raus redet zwegs Arbeit (meine Meinung)
Wenn ich aber nicht ins Krankenhaus fahre und es doch etwas ernstes ist gefärde ich damit mein ungeborenes Kind.
Klar könnte ich einfach gehen und danach egal was raus kommt weiter machen wie bisher doch das könnt ich nicht ohne nervlich durchzudrehen… Und dann für Kind 1 definitiv sowieso ausfallen.
Ich weiß, viele werden sich jetzt fragen wie blöd ich bin weil die logische Antwort ist einfach ins Krankenhaus zu fahren.
Ich habe jedoch auch Angst Kind 1 zu verlieren…. Sollte ich ausfallen.
Also bitte habt Verständnis dafür das ich etwas ratlos und überfragt bin.
Solltet ihr dazu etwas sagen wollen oder sogar liebe Ratschläge haben dann bleibt bitte sachlich ohne mich anzugreifen. Ich bin auch nur eine Mama die all ihre Kinder beschützen und behüten möchte.
Ich danke euch schon mal 🙂
Und PS. Jaa der Vater weiß um meine Situation und dennoch lässt er sich nicht davon abbringen zu sagen das er keine Möglichkeit hat für mich einzuspringen oder mir dabei großartig zu helfen. Und es bringt mir auch nichts ihn ein weiteres Mal zu fragen denn beim letztem mal ist es im Streit eskaliert und das hilft auch keinem weiter.
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first of all, the health of you and the bauchzwerg stands. So if you can’t make sure you have the rest in the bed at home, then I would recommend you to go to the hospital
the child lives at the vater and he is responsible for the care situation and must organize them. that is not your task, and if he can’t make sure that, the child can’t live there anymore. he shall take care of it, take care of yourself now and let him know that you will fall out in the next time due to health care.
Thank you.
Unfortunately, he never did that no matter what kind of case, I was always responsible… So I love my children, that was never a problem even if I’ve often been upset.
But now it will probably be the right thing to resist.
I just don’t want to endanger my first child
it will be time for you to start taking care of yourself. if he wants the child to live with him, he should finally take responsibility and his obligations to do so. it is his task to pick up the child and it is his task to get care. for that he is a careless parent. If he can’t do this, the child has to move back to you.
At the moment, however, it is important for you to finally go to the table and take care of your health, and that’s exactly what I’m sorry about, but now you have to take care of your tasks yourself. I am for the next months to be drunken and cannot endanger my health any more.
and if he doesn’t understand, you can’t care. he has to take care of himself or he gives the child to you, then you will find solutions for it. until then, you will only take care of yourself in the next time.
Thank you.
Often I get to hear the opposite… Why don’t I just move my ass as a mother no matter what’s with me.
Now I was in the kh yesterday and there are actually premature hurt with shortened mother-bodied. In the worst case, I have to stay in the kh soon. As long as it is said to be shorter. I will discuss this all on the dinstag with the jug office and the kindvater. And hope that understanding can be made there.
Lg
The question is what you could live with:
When child 1 comes to home because the father does not care enough honestly or if child 3 dies.
You must be clear what a birth in this SSW could mean for child 3.
So sorry, I understand your concern about child 1, but you have more than one child you need to think about.
Call anyone again, family, friends, fathers of the other children, whether anyone can somehow set up free (no matter whether all or only the corresponding hours during the day). If no, please contact the emergency care of the youth office that you need help now with transitional care in care family. This looks much better and more responsible, as medical emergency than if you wait until it goes wrong.
I had a miscarriage in the 20 ssw in 2020 and yes I don’t want to get through this pain again and of course I want the child 3 to come to the world healthy.
But if I cannot give child 1 the necessary care by me or family, then it will only be possible that he comes to the home and so quickly must not return to the family. And no one from the family can provide care.
So everything is easier than done.
I’m going to go to the hospital or I’m going to be bad if it doesn’t get better or worse. But as it goes on, no idea
I am honestly also a little questioned, because yes, the logical answer would be to go to KH, but I can fully understand your fear. The possibility to accommodate child 1 with your parents or siblings or the like is not there? And otherwise it is really also the child’s father to take care of himself. No matter what the job says. And if you’re afraid that he wouldn’t do this and that the youth office would have to intervene, I’d think twice if I wanted to leave my child with him. Otherwise, are there any neighbors or colleagues from you or your child, where it could be for a few days?
Thank you.
Unfortunately no, there would be no way to bring child 1 somewhere.
Through his adhs, many of the family and well-known have already said that they don’t want to risk it, because unfortunately there are many dangers (too long to explain this more closely)
I was already trying to intervene in order to draw the child 1 back to me, but without success since I also had a forerunner (child 1 was given to the father at the time because of my psyche) some stood behind me but the father could prevent it and the youth office apparently does not want to see that the father hardly manages his duties.
I must, unfortunately, for these reasons, consider exactly what I should do because the jug office should decide that it would be better then child 1 is gone faster than I could intervene 🙁
Okay, I understand. I don’t know how much. I hope you’ll get all this done, and you and your three kids will survive this together.
In your situation, I would want the BEST for my children and if it means that the first child comes into a nursing facility, then it’s like that. If you cannot or do not want adequate care, at least work to ensure that the child is safe – wherever and at whom.
The thing is that I want to ensure the care for child 1. And it would not be the best if child 1 had to move into a family or group of people!
How to choose Zwichen to his children? I can’t.
Actually, this situation is not correct to solve. None of the options is the right one!
Apart from that the father should take care of his child.
However, I must find a solution. He won’t do it
no the solution does not need to find that is kvs task. Your task is to lay down you and not to jeopardize you. So put yourself down and let go.
Yeah, but then take the kid to you? If it is not possible, then you can’t do it and the current regulation is more bad than right.
Where is the problem of a nursing family or group of homes? The child would have care, it would have a regulated everyday life, there would be a lot of problems from you. It’s still your child, but he’ll be helped! Especially in terms of school, it is not possible that he can only go two hours and then must crawl back and forth miles, that is not at all beneficial for services and ADHD (have even an ADHS child and knows how importantly regulated structures are!).
Shouldn’t you? I want you to see what each of your children is most helpful!
The best option is the one in which you do not chauffe the area without pause and the child has a fixed place where he is properly cared for, not this rear meck now.
But obviously he can’t. I can’t judge it exactly, after all I know only one side of the medal.
Why is the child even with the father and not with you?
School change is in attack… He goes to a school nir unfortunately in terms of language. This help ends in a year. And he’ll have to change. Unfortunately, however, we are currently prohibited by the competent authorities by another priority despite the current situation. He’s supposed to come to a clinic, but there’s no room for him. That’s why we have to wait.
My son is more with me now than with the father. And yet again, the responsible ones are refusing to change the living space. Also due to the current situation.
Think about a change of school? Is the child going to a regular school? Is there another school system where better children with special needs can be addressed an option?
You’re always talking about time, but I don’t read that you have this and the problem has existed for a short time? Yes, the mills of the bureaucracy grind slowly, but steady. Push it. Especially when the father lets everything go, your chances are good, after all this is about child welfare.
It was said by the psychologist that it would be risky to take the child out of the family as he already has mental problems.
I’m fighting that my child can pull to me, but unfortunately it’s not that easy.
My child had a regulated process and structures until the time the school has made us a line through everything.
I’ll take care of my child. I can’t do anything for the father’s behavior. I’m trying to find a better way by all means. This also takes time….
My child lives with his father as I was very beaten at birth and depression had due to a rather broken family in which I grew up. And I acted out of fear (not being able to do justice to my child) but then this could not be reversed and now I can only try to fight. What I said. So the whole stress for the child ends.
The child lives with the father. So he has to take care of himself when you get out. I would also actively seek the conversation with the YES at your place and declare that the present organization is not possible for you healthily and that the Father does not really address this.
Thank you.
I have an appointment with the father on the dinstag with the youth office, family help and psychologist of our child. Maybe I’ll talk to it again.
But so far it has always been that the father had a good argument against me with his work.
he has no argument at all on his side. I would tell him that the child’s care is his duty and you will no longer take it for him for health reasons. he has to find a solution and not you.
after that I would tell him to look back and leave the conversation. either he finds a solution: day care or other or the child should actually be better in a home. there can also be better helped by therapy etc.